.
Zoom in - trust me - this is the pic that keeps on givingGENIUS
What am I missing?
Jeff,I hereby am changing Dereks name to....."Derek Lumpsford" !!
H.O.F. post, Wes!
."This is the diary of Dukie Wood Healy Hankins, car chaser, and all around good pup. My life started out pretty good, I remember this man they call Brian came and picked me up. It was tough leaving my brothers and sisters, but he had a huge house and a dimwitted good natured manner about him. He bought me lots of kibble, and occasionally gave me hot dogs and SpaghettiOs from his plate. Sometimes a couple of hours after we ate, he'd run to the bathroom and stink up the place. It smelled like blood and guts, and all types of other things. I imagined my ancestors smelled similar when they took down a wounded elk or deer long ago. Sometimes I wished I spoke English instead of barks so I could tell him to go outside and do his business like I do. There were other nice things, there was a drunk girl that came to visit. She was fun, she'd sit on the couch with a bottle of Jack, and watch Lassie with me. She left after the police came. I'm not sure what they do, but they sure do come around a lot. I think they're like dog catchers for humans. Brian complains that they don't knock a lot. Then there was my buddy Rocky. Normally my type aren't suppose to like cats, but Rocky was different. He was big, African, and mischievous. And he hated Hankins, that's what he called him, not master, boss, or Brian. He called him Hankins.Rocky loved to knock Brian's drugs off the counter, and then paw them under the furniture. When he was down there looking for them, Rocky then pounce at Brian's head. Rocky said that patchy fur on Brian's head was the best toy a cat could have. One day we were by the pool, Brian is always by the pool, I don't understand why he doesn't work, and he threw a ball to Rocky. Rocky ignored him like usually, but I wanted to play so I brought the ball back. Brian started dancing around half nude, yelling, "Dukie can't be faded, Dukie can't be faded. See that Rocky? Dukie can't be faded." I was happy, but Rocky told me he was certain our owner was fag now, not just a fag, but an asshole.Rocky left soon after that. I miss my buddy Rocky.Things were slow, but normal. Brian would sit by the pool, and eat and get high. And then get high and eat. He'd argue with people on the internet, and sometimes he'd leave, and I wouldn't see him for a few days. Like the time he had to go to the vet, and get his pec fixed. He didn't say how that happened, just for me to be careful around bitches and cars. Then one day it all changed, he'd been arguing all day with the Indians about his Summerboard, whining into the phone about it. Not a bark , growl, or snarl, but a whine. He was angry the whole night, yelling about how many bio-identicals he could've bought with that Summerboard money. Brian was always buying silly shit. I'd gone to my couch to sleep, when Brian came walking over with a jar of peanut butter.......From that day forward, my days of blissful puppyhood were over."I imagine an audiobook book version read by Morgan Freeman.
You're not saying that DaveLovesD is the kind of "guy" who bought his Oculus hoping they develop a "backstage pump room" 4k virtual experience?
if a guy wants to date a fat girl, i don't care it's his dick and reputation not minei just don't want to hear about "male privilege" or that it's harder to be a female because in today's day and age it clearly isn't, all they have to do is exist and they will be valued and desired, men always have to prove themselvesthe whole left acting like women are victimized and that the system is rigged against them is total lies, i think some women know that but they like using the victim card to their advantageE
Earl, did you ever find out what happened to the filthy, vile slag who sexually violated you with a fork and mocked your eyebrows?
LMFAO. Please provide the back story.
It must have been around 7 years ago he posted it now, but it was funny as fuck. From memory, an innocent young girl tried to banter with Earl at work and gently prodded his ass with a fork. Earl, however, froze like a rabbit in the headlights, and his pupils dilated as if he'd just witnessed the Roswell alien come down from space and flash its cock at him. Although the fork 'didn't quite penetrate his anus', it was (and I think I'm quoting)'easily the most shocking thing he'd ever experienced', and Earl went charging through to his HR department to report that he'd been raped. Shockingly, HR were quite apathetic about this appalling workplace sexual assault, and they failed to handle the incident with the tact and professionalism it deserved. This, along with the initial 3-pronged assault on Earl's bodily autonomy, engendered a seismic shift in his worldview, and catapulted him down a path of misogyny, depression, and sexual abstinence. From that day forward, he traded handshakes and hugs for awkward salutes, flinched at the sound of a female voice, and vowed to protect his vulnerable asshole with an impenetrable shield of dense muscle tissue. Naturally, it led him to Getbig, and in some perverse way I guess we all owe that trident-wielding young whore a great debt of gratitude.
Solid pick!
I count 16 Hankins’.
Hahaha now that’s to many Hankins’.
It may be one of the best posts I've ever read on here, really fantastic.
I'm quite confident the original Earl1972 fork post is somewhere in this thread, but it is difficult to find it.
in the early 2000's i had a part time bartending job at a country club, mostly working weddings and private parties on the weekendthe manager was a late 50's fat lady, would go out of her way to grope my arms and shoulders and then one day she complained to me that i never went into her office just to chat with her about lifei was taken aback by this question, i said i don't know i just come in to do my job... after that i always got a major attitude from her, any question i asked was a bad question and before that she was nothing but friendly, luckily she was fired shortly after for failing a drug testthe worst experience was a 17 year old girl that kept flirting with me, the first thing she ever said to me was "you wanna wrestle me", then she told me a few times that i'm cute and she groped my butt with both hands in front of coworkersi ignored these things, i would be lying if i said i wasn't flattered to be getting interest from a girl 15 years younger but i wasn't going for a high school girl, over time her flirting became more insulting saying there must be something wrong with me to not be married, she liked to criticize my eye brows too which was annoying, and then she really crossed the line when she randomly came behind me and put a fork in my ass and said i look like a pedophilethe fork didn't penetrate my anus it went in between my butt cheeks, easily the most shocking experience of my lifei wanted to kill her, she made the pedophile comment in front of a female manager, i immediately went to HR who was female and reported everything that happened, all she did was tell her to stay away from me which she didthey pretty much acted like i was a big baby about it, other females that worked there heard about it thought the pedophile comment was horrible but they laughed about the fork incident, i said what if a guy did that to you and they said "oh that would be different" if i did any of that to her i would've been fired no questions asked and been labeled a "monster", every time i hear about a man hitting a woman i always assume she acted just like herE
Here you go:
OK I'm bored I'll bite but if you read this it's your fault - you all know I'm a degenerate.I had a friend with a really hot Mom - she'd had him really early so was still relatively young to usI once dug her panties out of the laundry basket and had a Bane-wank - where you place them on your head so that your hot breath activates the gussetCore memory
are you threatening a 58 year old man with a dodgy ticker tough guy?
I don't give a fuck if you are 90 come see me and I will knock your fucking teeth out
never won a fight in your life prove me wrong
Come see me and get your proof
you´re about as hard as my first shit
