I'll share my beta stuff with you guys.
Some times I'm the light of the party, some times I'm suicidal and very paranoid. Not as paranoid as paranoid skitzophrenic, I don't hear any voices in my head or see any hallucinations, but I can be super paranoid and could get depressed from the slightest obstacle. I imagine in my mind the worst case scenario's and I can't sleep, I can't eat and I'd get endorfin rush by imagining killing people and it would be mental to even go outside and I can't get anything done. Sometimes I think everyone has something against me, and the shit I tell people just makes people distant from me. People avoid me and look at me strange.
I guess when you don't need to worry about heat, water, food or general survival, you get... this, lol
. I've been like this for my entire life.
I know all of the above is the product of my imagination because I've gotten used to quitting, so I've never really built my character by finishing the unpleasant but productive stuff everyone should do, so of course one gets depressed or anxious. When you get used to quitting, you won't even try after that, and you stop believing your self, and you start thinking negatively about yourself. And then you get depressed. And medication won't give you permanent relief, you only need to get shit done. The stuff that you quit you should start again no matter how boring and difficult it might seem, it's the only way away from this type of misery.