Getbig.com: American Bodybuilding, Fitness and Figure
Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: gym**rat on July 13, 2011, 05:44:27 PM
-
I have to wear dress pants for work. I either conduct or attend meetings all week long. When I sit on a vinyl or leather covered chair for over a 1/2 an hour, when I get up I leave what I like to call a "Sea Monkey". A small line of ass and/or ballsack sweat on the seat of the chair.
Yesterday I was sitting next to a pretty good looking woman and was working her a little but when we got up for a break she looked down and seen my sea monkey. That pretty much ruined any chance I had if any. I bath everyday and have even tried baby powder in the morning. The baby powder just turns into cake batter.
Anyone else have this problem and has a solution? I thought of stuffing a slice of Wonder Bread in my shorts to soak it up but that could get messy as well. Pic available on request. Thank you in advance.
-
Use it to your advantage. If a girl sees it, just say "Sea Monkey! See? Monkey? Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!" like Curly.
-
try two pairs of underoos
-
try two pairs of underoos
That could possibly work. Or it could make my ass and sack hotter and make it sweat even more. Hmmmm????
-
What type of material are your dress pants made out of? If you are wearing heavier fabrics---the sea Monkey will show up...never had that problem...
Wear lighter weight fabrics so that your "ass" can "breath".
-
I have to wear dress pants for work. I either conduct or attend meetings all week long. When I sit on a vinyl or leather covered chair for over a 1/2 an hour, when I get up I leave what I like to call a "Sea Monkey". A small line of ass and/or ballsack sweat on the seat of the chair. Yesterday I was sitting next to a pretty good looking woman and was working her a little but when we got up for a break she looked down and seen my sea monkey. That pretty much ruined any chance I had if any. I bath everyday and have even tried baby powder in the morning. The baby powder just turns into cake batter.
Anyone else have this problem and has a solution? I thought of stuffing a slice of Wonder Bread in my shorts to soak it up but that could get messy as well. Pic available on request. Thank you in advance.
:D
-
They are light. The majority are either Calvin Klein or Ralph Lauren. I hate heavy clothes or thick clothes. The only time I don't leave sea monkeys is when I wear jeans. But can't wear those for work. Thank you though.
-
best thread ever
-
I have to wear dress pants for work. I either conduct or attend meetings all week long. When I sit on a vinyl or leather covered chair for over a 1/2 an hour, when I get up I leave what I like to call a "Sea Monkey". A small line of ass and/or ballsack sweat on the seat of the chair. Yesterday I was sitting next to a pretty good looking woman and was working her a little but when we got up for a break she looked down and seen my sea monkey. That pretty much ruined any chance I had if any. I bath everyday and have even tried baby powder in the morning. The baby powder just turns into cake batter.
Anyone else have this problem and has a solution? I thought of stuffing a slice of Wonder Bread in my shorts to soak it up but that could get messy as well. Pic available on request. Thank you in advance.
:D
-
Try the "wiping discreetly with the underside of your thigh" technique, where you get up from the chair by laterally moving in the seat to the left or right first, so the hammie part of the pant will wipe it before you stand up :D
-
I find I sweat more in loose-fitting boxers than boxer-brief style underwear.
-
You could also quickly wipe the seat after you get up before anyone sees it, but this only works if you're Superman or The Flash
-
Try the "wiping discreetly with the underside of your thigh" technique, where you get up from the chair by laterally moving in the seat to the left or right first, so the hammie part of the pant will wipe it before you stand up :D
Funny you mention that because I seriously try and remember to do that. But 1/3 of the time I space it and jump right up. Yesterday was one of those days. And that sweet thing sitting next to me looked right down as I realized it and tried shoving the chair under the table. I was pretty embarrassed. She appeared to be a woman that was more than likely not into Sea Monkeys.
I can't believe no one else has this issue on here. I truely am special, in an ass sweat sort of way.
-
Summer Swamp Ass is a hell of a thing >:(
-
NO ! You are NOT alone, my friend. I sweat constantly ! Not matter what I wear. Daily showers followed with POUNDS of baby powder do nothin' for me. :( :( I hate it. And, yes, I am bein' very serious. So, with all that bein' said, I, too, am followin' this thread with great interest.
-
Try anti-transpirant.
Note though that not sweating in the ball area will cause your balls to overheat and produce less testosterone and sperm.
I say keep on sweating, and when then dump the girls face into the pool of sweat on your seat. She will take in your pheromones and fuck you on the spot without doubt.
Men sweat.
-
Summer Swamp Ass is a hell of a thing >:(
Bad thing is I leave these sea monkeys even in the dead of winter. I have no "off season". ;D
-
You haven't said if you're carrying any extra lbs.
If so, dropping a few usually helps in the sweat department.
-
Drink salvia tea, stops sweating very efficiently.
-
NO ! You are NOT alone, my friend. I sweat constantly ! Not matter what I wear. Daily showers followed with POUNDS of baby powder do nothin' for me. :( :( I hate it. And, yes, I am bein' very serious. So, with all that bein' said, I, too, am followin' this thread with great interest.
I feel for you brother.
-
Bad thing is I leave these sea monkeys even in the dead of winter. I have no "off season". ;D
I had that problem while I was doing my old job.
I solved it by quitting the job ;D
-
SIMPLE SOLUTION
as you are about to get out of the chair - twist - your ass on the seat. this will wipe the condensation off the chair seat... see no monkey.
-
I had that problem while I was doing my old job.
I solved it by quitting the job ;D
Spoken like a real bodybuilder!!!
-
Try anti-transpirant.
Note though that not sweating in the ball area will cause your balls to overheat and produce less testosterone and sperm.
I say keep on sweating, and when then dump the girls face into the pool of sweat on your seat. She will take in your pheromones and fuck you on the spot without doubt.
Men sweat.
I tried Bodyglide, that made it worse. I researched and found a link that suggested Corn Starch. That shit ended up like I rammed a whole tube of raw biscuits in my ass crack. Not pretty.
-
I had that problem while I was doing my old job.
I solved it by quitting the job ;D
Now that was funny. Wish I could.
-
I tried Bodyglide, that made it worse. I researched and found a link that suggested Corn Starch. That shit ended up like I rammed a whole tube of raw biscuits in my ass crack. Not pretty.
ROFLFAO !!!! I nominate this " Funniest Post Of The Year " !!!!
-
best thread ever
ROFLFAO !!!! I nominate this " Funniest Post Of The Year " !!!!
Wow, that means so much to me. I feel honored. The only thing that would make me feel even better is to get my ass to quit leaving puddles like Old Faithfull.
-
Perhaps this could help?
(http://www.sofreshsodry.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/FB.jpg)
-
I keep an extra sitck of deodorant for my ass crack. One swipe of the ass before you get dressed seems to help quite a bit. Sometime it's so hot and muggy before you get dressed you're already sweating. Just make sure no one uses your special deodorant stick :) You can see the butt hairs stuck to mine ;D
-
Perhaps this could help?
(http://www.sofreshsodry.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/FB.jpg)
I looked at their website. I think it could help with the sack sweat but I believe the majority of the sea monkey is coming from the ass crack. Not sure I really want to experiment putting different compounds in my asscrack..............no homo of course.
-
I keep an extra sitck of deodorant for my ass crack. One swipe of the ass before you get dressed seems to help quite a bit. Sometime it's so hot and muggy before you get dressed you're already sweating. Just make sure no one uses your special deodorant stick :) You can see the butt hairs stuck to mine ;D
Does the deoderant ever mat up your ass hairs to where they look like dreadlocks?
-
Aluminum Chloride topical solution
-
Try the "wiping discreetly with the underside of your thigh" technique, where you get up from the chair by laterally moving in the seat to the left or right first, so the hammie part of the pant will wipe it before you stand up :D
funny as hell! thats what i do!
-
funny as hell! thats what i do!
Problem is I did so many drugs earlier in life that my memory is that of an 80 yr old so I keep forgetting, like yesterday. And I don't want to reach down and wipe it with my hand, that is a little gross even for me.
-
Does the deoderant ever mat up your ass hairs to where they look like dreadlocks?
I dont know I don't stick a mirror under my taint to look ;D seriously try it though. Buy a clear kind. One good swip of the ass after you get out of the shower. You ass cheeck my sweat still. At least you will smell fresh.
-
LOL what do you lot get up to at work to be working up a sweaty cornhole?
-
I dont know I don't stick a mirror under my taint to look ;D seriously try it though. Buy a clear kind. One good swip of the ass after you get out of the shower. You ass cheeck my sweat still. At least you will smell fresh.
I will sneak my wife's deoderant in the morning. I just need to remember to pull off any ass hairs I leave on there. I have a 2 hour meeting first thing in the morning so it will be a good test. I will try to get online during the meeting and give an update.
-
Spoken like a real bodybuilder!!!
It was interfering with my post-workout window of opportunity.
Work and income are important, but not more than 18" arms and ripped glutes, right?
-
I will sneak my wife's deoderant in the morning. I just need to remember to pull off any ass hairs I leave on there. I have a 2 hour meeting first thing in the morning so it will be a good test. I will try to get online during the meeting and give an update.
Haha your hilarious bro. Hope she walks in on you when your doing it ;D
-
LOL what do you lot get up to at work to be working up a sweaty cornhole?
I just sit in a meeting and I am either talking or listening. No stress, I just have an active ass crack I guess.
-
Haha your hilarious bro. Hope she walks in on you when your doing it ;D
She probably will catch me. She caught me beating off a couple weeks ago. She catches me at everything. I am not a good sneak or liar.
-
Does the deoderant ever mat up your ass hairs to where they look like dreadlocks?
I can best help via a song
-
get off the drugs
and lose some
weight
fatass
-
She probably will catch me. She caught me beating off a couple weeks ago. She catches me at everything. I am not a good sneak or liar.
Me neither man I get caught red handed a lot. Orderd some shit from one of those research companies armidrex to take during cycle. I left the reciept out when I tore the box open she looks it up on the internet and then asks me what the fuck I'm doing with womans breast cancer medicine I was like uh uh uh my nipples uh uh ;D I texted a buddy of mine one night before I went out if he could score some part favors. I'm in the shower and leave my phone on the knight stand where we were taking a nap. As soon as I get out of the shower "what party favors are you trying to get" me :o uh uh we were talking about duh uh uh ;D
-
I can best help via a song
What a great song, how the hell do you find this stuff. It made me feel better and it let me forget about my evil sea monkeys for a little while. Thank you.
-
get off the drugs
and lose some
weight
fatass
Wow kick me while I'm down why don't you. First off, drug free, well if we do not count AAS, and not a fatass. Not 6% bf but I only have one chin. Thanks for your positive and helpfull comments my friend. ;D
-
Me neither man I get caught red handed a lot. Orderd some shit from one of those research companies armidrex to take during cycle. I left the reciept out when I tore the box open she looks it up on the internet and then asks me what the fuck I'm doing with womans breast cancer medicine I was like uh uh uh my nipples uh uh ;D I texted a buddy of mine one night before I went out if he could score some part favors. I'm in the shower and leave my phone on the knight stand where we were taking a nap. As soon as I get out of the shower "what party favors are you trying to get" me :o uh uh we were talking about duh uh uh ;D
Shit man, we share the same life. It sucks to never get away with shit.
-
I can't help but I'm feeling pretty awesome about my dry ass right now. Thanking you.
Perhaps a towel? If it's good enough for the gym it's good enough for the board room.
-
Shit man, we share the same life. It sucks to never get away with shit.
I give her a lot of credit though she has put up with a lot my bad habbits as long at I don't flaunt them around her. She hates when I chew tobbacoo more than anything. I have a nice big lock box where I keep my extra ammo, magazines, guns and whatever else I need to stache in there that is of importance. It has a lock on it and she stays away from it.
-
I can't help but I'm feeling pretty awesome about my dry ass right now. Thanking you.
Perhaps a towel? If it's good enough for the gym it's good enough for the board room.
I do use a towel in the gym because I don't want to be a gross fuck and leave sea monkeys on machines for others to sit in. Hell they'll slide off the machine. But I really can't carry in a beach towell or a chamois into a meeting room to clean up my goo ass. That may produce more unwanted attention than I already have. But I do appreciate the suggestions.
-
Are your trousers wool or cotton? Or are they that damnable stuff called polyester?
-
Are your trousers wool or cotton? Or are they that damnable stuff called polyester?
I know they are not wool or 100% cotton. They are some kind of blend. Hell I don't know. I hate them but I have wore Dockers a few times and they do the same thing. Fuck, I am cursed.
-
Only buy clothing that are 100% wool or cotton, purge your wardrobe of all clothing with any polyester...
Your trousers may be ill-fitting in the thighs, do you have a problem with holes forming in the crotch?
-
Only buy clothing that are 100% wool or cotton, purge your wardrobe of all clothing with any polyester...
Your trousers may be ill-fitting in the thighs, do you have a problem with holes forming in the crotch?
Uhhh... the question makes me feel a little uneasy but what the hell, no sir, no holes forming in the crotch.
-
Uhhh... the question makes me feel a little uneasy but what the hell, no sir, no holes forming in the crotch.
When my thighs and quads got bigger, my old trousers developed holes in the inner/upper thigh where the material rubbed together...They were too small in the thigh...that's what I mean. If your trousers are too small, it may cause or stimulate your problem...
-
you must be
a beast
with your
massive quads
-
you must be
a beast
with your
massive quads
Maddy, you seem angry. Are you suffering with sea monkeys as well. Open up to us at getbig. We are all here to support each other that suffer from such ailments as goo ass, herpes, and lodged butt plugs. Don't carry the burden alone...we care. ;)
-
eeehh, not too beastly, I just had to buy a larger size...
Do you have the trousers altered?
It may be worthwhile to splurge and get a couple pair made to measure at the Custom Shop.
-
Hyperhidrosis
Treatment
Several treatment options are available for primary hyperhidrosis. Your doctor will work with you to find the least invasive treatment options that relieve symptoms. Surgery is reserved for patients with severe symptoms who haven't found relief from other treatments.
Treatment for secondary hyperhidrosis focuses on diagnosing and treating the underlying health condition causing the sweating.
Topical medications
For light-to-moderate hyperhidrosis, your doctor will likely recommend applying a nonprescription, over-the-counter, clinical strength antiperspirant on problem areas as an initial treatment. Options that work well might include Certain Dri, Secret Clinical Strength, Degree Clinical Protections and 5 Day.
Prescription antiperspirants with aluminum chloride are the next step. Typically, prescription antiperspirants (Drysol, Xerac) are applied to dry skin before bedtime. Covering the affected areas during sleep can be helpful. Six to eight hours later, the antiperspirant should be washed off. Prescription antiperspirants may cause red, swollen and itchy skin.
Iontophoresis
In this procedure, your doctor will show you how to use a battery-powered device to deliver a low current of electricity to the hands or feet, and sometimes the armpits, through water-saturated wool pads. Iontophoresis treatment alters the outer layers of skin to prevent sweat from coming to the surface.
The treatment, which can be mild to moderately painful, needs to be performed two times a day for three to four weeks. This intense treatment can decrease sweating for several weeks. Then you'll need to repeat the process. Devices are available so you can do this procedure at home. You shouldn't use this treatment if you are pregnant or have a pacemaker.
Although iontophoresis is quite safe, it may be no more effective than a topical antiperspirant.
Oral Medications
Several oral medications can help control hyperhidrosis.
Anticholinergics (such as glycopyrrolate) block nerve impulses to sweat glands.
Carbonic anhydrase inhibitors (such as topiramate) inhibit sweating.
Clonidine reduces nerve stimuli, thereby reducing sweat output.
Older types of antidepressants, such as amitriptyline, can reduce sweating and also can help patients cope with hyperhidrosis. Possible side effects are dry mouth, blurred vision and difficulty with urination. Anti-anxiety medications are an option for patients whose excessive sweating is primarily due to stress-induced anxiety. But they usually aren't effective.
Botulinum Toxin (Botox)
Botulinum toxin (Botox) treatment temporarily blocks the nerves that trigger your sweat glands. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved Botox for axillary (underarm) hyperhidrosis in 2004.
At Mayo Clinic, dermatologists administer Botox. Your doctor could inject up to 20 small doses of Botox in a treatment session. Often, the injection sites are determined using diagnostic sweat tests. To ease pain caused by the injections, your doctor will use anesthetic techniques that might include oral or intravenous sedation medication or topical creams.
Typically, you should see improvements in two to four days. The benefit usually lasts four to six months. Then, the treatment needs to be repeated. Botox is used most successfully for underarm hyperhidrosis but it can be used for sweaty palms. Less often, it's considered for facial sweating because of the risk that it might weaken facial muscles.
Surgery
If you have severe hyperhidrosis and other treatments haven't worked, surgery may be an option. Mayo Clinic surgeons are among the most experienced anywhere in providing minimally invasive surgical treatment for hyperhidrosis. Two approaches involve interrupting the nerve signal triggering excessive sweating. The other approach is to remove some sweat glands. Learn more about hyperhidrosis surgery.
-
eeehh, not too beastly, I just had to buy a larger size...
Do you have the trousers altered?
It may be worthwhile to splurge and get a couple pair made to measure at the Custom House.
Maybe they can alter the pants to where they insert a maxi pad in the ass of them to soak up the monkeys. I just don't want them to look like I am packing a potatoe back there.
-
angry
hahaha
-
LMFAO @ this thread ;D ;D ;D
Seriously though
The underwear - 100% cotton?
There's a natural antiperspirant thing out there - a salt crystal or something - that is supposed to work great. Totally odorless, colorless and lasts for years. I'll see if I can find what it is.
Otherwise, it might be time for Depends :-\
:-*
-
Hyperhidrosis
Iontophoresis
In this procedure, your doctor will show you how to use a battery-powered device to deliver a low current of electricity to the hands or feet, and sometimes the armpits, through water-saturated wool pads. Iontophoresis treatment alters the outer layers of skin to prevent sweat from coming to the surface.
The treatment, which can be mild to moderately painful, needs to be performed two times a day for three to four weeks. This intense treatment can decrease sweating for several weeks. Then you'll need to repeat the process. Devices are available so you can do this procedure at home. You shouldn't use this treatment if you are pregnant or have a pacemaker.
Great info. I just don't want to stick a battery powered device in my ass crack. My wife tried that one time and I slapped the piss out of her.
-
Maddy, you seem angry. Are you suffering with sea monkeys as well. Open up to us at getbig. We are all here to support each other that suffer from such ailments as goo ass, herpes, and lodged butt plugs. Don't carry the burden alone...we care. ;)
Maybe Maddy has schweaty balls ???
-
LMFAO @ this thread ;D ;D ;D
Seriously though
The underwear - 100% cotton?
There's a natural antiperspirant thing out there - a crystal or something - that is supposed to work great. Totally odorless, colorless and lasts for years. I'll see if I can find what it is.
Otherwise, it might be time for Depends :-\
:-*
Yes, 100% cotton boxer briefs. I tried the Under Armour boxer briefs but it was worse. You are a woman, would you bang a guy after you see him leave a sea monkey?
-
Great info. I just don't want to stick a battery powered device in my ass crack. My wife tried that one time and I slapped the piss out of her.
because she hadn't
done it sooner?
maybe maddy
doesnt have
balls
-
Great info. I just don't want to stick a battery powered device in my ass crack. My wife tried that one time and I slapped the piss out of her.
Funniest thread in a long time
-
Yes, 100% cotton boxer briefs. I tried the Under Armour boxer briefs but it was worse. You are a woman, would you bang a guy after you see him leave a sea monkey?
It looks like those salt crystals are mainly used as a deodorant. Wouldn't hurt to try. A health food / supplement store should carry them.
I can't really answer your other question, but I'd say it's something to be embarrassed about.
-
I have a 2 hour meeting first thing in the morning so it will be a good test. I will try to get online during the meeting and give an update.
Riveting stuff here. ;D
-
It looks like those salt crystals are mainly used as a deodorant. Wouldn't hurt to try. A health food / supplement store should carry them.
I can't really answer your other question, but I'd say it's something to be embarrassed about.
Do you think a woman would overlook it if I wiped up the sea monkey with a $100 bill then threw it away?
-
Try wearing under armor instead of underwear
-
Try wearing under armor instead of underwear
Yes, 100% cotton boxer briefs. I tried the Under Armour boxer briefs but it was worse.
Done tried it. But thank you for the suggestion.
-
Do you think a woman would overlook it if I wiped up the sea monkey with a $100 bill then threw it away?
Now you're just being silly :D
-
She appeared to be a woman that was more than likely not into Sea Monkeys.
Forget this bitch. Utilise your strengths.
Advertise on Craigslist for a woman who's into this sort of thing.
-
I have to wear dress pants for work. I either conduct or attend meetings all week long. When I sit on a vinyl or leather covered chair for over a 1/2 an hour, when I get up I leave what I like to call a "Sea Monkey". A small line of ass and/or ballsack sweat on the seat of the chair. Yesterday I was sitting next to a pretty good looking woman and was working her a little but when we got up for a break she looked down and seen my sea monkey. That pretty much ruined any chance I had if any. I bath everyday and have even tried baby powder in the morning. The baby powder just turns into cake batter.
Anyone else have this problem and has a solution? I thought of stuffing a slice of Wonder Bread in my shorts to soak it up but that could get messy as well. Pic available on request. Thank you in advance.
You are obese. Lose some fat and your problem will disappear.
-
Forget this bitch. Utilise your strengths.
Advertise on Craigslist for a woman who's into this sort of thing.
Great idea! Thank you!
-
You are obese. Lose some fat and your problem will disappear.
Sorry to disapoint your steller owning of me but I am absolutely not obese, just having this particular issue. But thank you because your post really helped give me a whole new way of thinking. You have such great insight. Maybe someday I can be a True Adonis.. ::)
-
Sorry to disapoint your steller owning of me but I am absolutely not obese, just having this particular issue. But thank you because your post really helped give me a whole new way of thinking. You have such great insight. Maybe someday I can be a True Adonis.. ::)
Don`t count on it anytime soon at least.
-
Bump for the S.M.U. (Sea Monkey Update)
BBm thank you for your concern. I just sat down for this meeting 3 minutes ago and so far all is good. There was one cloth seat at this round table and some 500 lb fat skank waddled over and took it, probably because she has the same problem as me. The first meeting break is in an hour so I will see what grows. If I can discretely snap a pic of the little sea monkey I will.
-
Don`t count on it anytime soon at least.
Would you be my mentor and guru so that I can reach my goal at an optimal time? Come on, be a bud.
-
i have the same prob man. I think i have it worse, i sweat right through shorts and leave an ass print on any chair. One thing i do now is put pressure on one ass cheek for like 10 min and then switch while the other cheek cools. give it a try.
-
i have the same prob man. I think i have it worse, i sweat right through shorts and leave an ass print on any chair. One thing i do now is put pressure on one ass cheek for like 10 min and then switch while the other cheek cools. give it a try.
Wow a whole ass print! I am fully impressed! I cannot sit cheek to cheek because my bottom 2 back segments are fused and that would cause some major discomfort. My little sea monkeys would feel quite inferior next to your full cheek print.
-
. One thing i do now is put pressure on one ass cheek for like 10 min and then switch while the other cheek cools. give it a try.
hahaha! ;D
-
UPDATE: Got up for the first break but did the slide out of the chair to wipe it off. I could barely make out the steam print. Just remembering to do that everytime is my problem. I looked around at the other seats to see if they had goo ass as well but I guess I am the only freak in the room.
-
ORLY?
http://www.flamewarriors.com/warriorshtm/archivist.htm
-
UPDATE: Got up for the first break but did the slide out of the chair to wipe it off. I could barely make out the steam print. Just remembering to do that everytime is my problem. I looked around at the other seats to see if they had goo ass as well but I guess I am the only freak in the room.
How much you weigh brah? Sound like a mass monster freak
-
How much you weigh brah? Sound like a mass monster freak
215, 5' 10" pretty thick. Def off season right now. I was born with great genetics, well except for the goo ass gene. But always big upper body and quads way before I started lifting. Small calves though, same as my dad. My dad was a big strong MF'r.
-
You need to get yourself a brazillian wax. Get that hair clean away. When you wipe your ass you'll use less toilet paper and your ass will feel cool.
I always end up getting sweaty in the hammy area. Always worried about wearing khakis on a hot day when I have to sit down for a while. Get rid of the hair!
-
215, 5' 10" pretty thick. Def off season right now. I was born with great genetics, well except for the goo ass gene. But always big upper body and quads way before I started lifting. Small calves though, same as my dad. My dad was a big strong MF'r.
Solid. I sweat a shitload myself, and I wear those UA boxer briefs that I think you or someone else said they used to wear. I think it's making it worse. Ill throw them on after a shower and in an hour they smell like ballsack sweat.
-
You haven't said if you're carrying any extra lbs.
If so, dropping a few usually helps in the sweat department.
If you're a "sweater" weight makes no difference. At my heaviest, I sweat like a pig. At my lightest (difference between 270 and 200), I still sweat like a fucking pig. I never get sick, though, and I don't have any wrinkles (ok, im not even 30), but I look much better than mots of my similarly aged friends.
-
I buy a crapload of these things from Napa to clean up oil spills in our garage. Maybe cut to fit your drawers?
(http://img.directindustry.com/images_di/photo-g/oil-absorbent-mat-436681.jpg)
-
Who cares anyways. Just push the chair under the desk real quick. So you have a sweaty ass there's worse things in life. What if you had a huge tumor on your face.
-
Solid. I sweat a shitload myself, and I wear those UA boxer briefs that I think you or someone else said they used to wear. I think it's making it worse. Ill throw them on after a shower and in an hour they smell like ballsack sweat.
The UA definitely made it worse. Those are not cheap either.
-
Who cares anyways. Just push the chair under the desk real quick. So you have a sweaty ass there's worse things in life. What if you had a huge tumor on your face.
I am kinda hurt, I thought you did care. :'(
-
The UA definitely made it worse. Those are not cheap either.
Stay away from any "sport performance" underwear. That material is made to allow sweat to breath through keeping your ass dry but pushes the sweat out to your pants causing an even bitter sweat monkey. You need 100% cotton briefs. Stay away from the calvin bullshit with spandex and such. Like a poster said earlier. I can shower be fresh and wear UA, calvin etc... and then start smelling sweaty balls right away. I bought some normal cotton underwear and never had that smell or sweat issue. Those breathable materials are shit. Makes you hot and sweaty. Use to wear Addidas. Nike, UA shit to workout. The sweat just makes the shirts feel heavy and uncomfortable. I wear a normal tank top or t shirt and I feel lighter and better.
-
I tried Bodyglide, that made it worse. I researched and found a link that suggested Corn Starch. That shit ended up like I rammed a whole tube of raw biscuits in my ass crack. Not pretty.
ROFLFAO !!!! I nominate this " Funniest Post Of The Year " !!!!
LOL...I second that.
-
Up the dosage + upright rows.
-
I have to wear dress pants for work. I either conduct or attend meetings all week long. When I sit on a vinyl or leather covered chair for over a 1/2 an hour, when I get up I leave what I like to call a "Sea Monkey". A small line of ass and/or ballsack sweat on the seat of the chair. Yesterday I was sitting next to a pretty good looking woman and was working her a little but when we got up for a break she looked down and seen my sea monkey. That pretty much ruined any chance I had if any. I bath everyday and have even tried baby powder in the morning. The baby powder just turns into cake batter.
Anyone else have this problem and has a solution? I thought of stuffing a slice of Wonder Bread in my shorts to soak it up but that could get messy as well. Pic available on request. Thank you in advance.
I love the honesty and realness of this. LMAO. I sweat like running water and go through baby powder like it's deodorant myself. It won't work for ass crack sweat though. Try this lol
(http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_570xN.174121367.jpg)
-
Up the dosage + upright rows.
He needs a dry ass not win Mr. Olympia ;D
-
Is anybody else's balls sweating while reading this thread? Wearing a pair of UAs boxer briefs as we speak.
-
I tried this shit, don't do it. It has a pink tint to it so when the goo ass soaks it up it ends up like cherry cake batter. Mats up the ass hairs as well.
(http://pics.rofl.to/media/data/pic-9e69578b8c5ddbbb8181d081a5253340-full.jpg)
-
http://www.flamewarriors.com/warriorshtm/archivist.htm
lol kiwiol too
-
Yeah, sea monkeys ... all the time, brother. Have 'em all the friggin' time. It can be a little embarrassing, but it also suggests you're one highly amped and T-ed out dude.
-
lol kiwiol too
I'm taking that as a compliment
-
I tried this shit, don't do it. It has a pink tint to it so when the goo ass soaks it up it ends up like cherry cake batter. Mats up the ass hairs as well.
(http://pics.rofl.to/media/data/pic-9e69578b8c5ddbbb8181d081a5253340-full.jpg)
use Monkey Butt Brand for all your ass crack needs....accept no substitues!
-
(http://www.depend.com/images/Depend_solutions_men4.jpg)
I control the room.
I spend more time in front of my colleagues than behind my desk, so it’s important that I’m comfortable and I look confident. So, I wear Depend® Underwear for Men because it has a snug fit and the best protection. Plus, it has a new discreet brief-like waistband. When all eyes are on me, all I’m focused on is my presentation.
(http://www.depend.com/images/products/19840.jpg)
http://www.depend.com/mens-solutions
-
make your body weigh less than it does now
-
make your body weigh less than it does now
That doesn't work in every case. Like someone pointed out before, if you naturally sweat a lot, you do it regardless of weight, although added weight will definitely make it worse.
I was very light and used to sprint when I was in school. My condition was no worse then than it was when I was at my heaviest, although I felt a lot more hotter at the heavier weight. Middle of winter everyone's covered up but I walk to the supermarket 5 mins away wearing a Tshirt and have already broken a light sweat from the walking :-\
-
That doesn't work in every case. Like someone pointed out before, if you naturally sweat a lot, you do it regardless of weight, although added weight will definitely make it worse.
I was very light and used to sprint when I was in school. My condition was no worse then than it was when I was at my heaviest, although I felt a lot more hotter at the heavier weight. Middle of winter everyone's covered up but I walk to the supermarket 5 mins away wearing a Tshirt and have already broken a light sweat from the walking :-\
That is my problem, I am a sweater from way back. Never mattered what I weighed. I sweat so much my wife uses an umbrella when I am on top.
-
try sticking a tampoon up your ass or a sponge
-
use Monkey Butt Brand for all your ass crack needs....accept no substitues!
This thread should be turned into a sticky....classic shit right there!
-
I have to wear dress pants for work. I either conduct or attend meetings all week long. When I sit on a vinyl or leather covered chair for over a 1/2 an hour, when I get up I leave what I like to call a "Sea Monkey". A small line of ass and/or ballsack sweat on the seat of the chair. Yesterday I was sitting next to a pretty good looking woman and was working her a little but when we got up for a break she looked down and seen my sea monkey. That pretty much ruined any chance I had if any. I bath everyday and have even tried baby powder in the morning. The baby powder just turns into cake batter.
Anyone else have this problem and has a solution? I thought of stuffing a slice of Wonder Bread in my shorts to soak it up but that could get messy as well. Pic available on request. Thank you in advance.
why would you sweat sitting down?
-
Im thinking of injecting a tampon on each side where my balls rest against my inner thigh. Anyone else try this?
-
Since I've started taking ephedrine I've noticed I get butt sweat. lol @ the anti monkey butt thing, that is hi 5 worthy for the creator but not for the user
-
Im thinking of injecting a tampon on each side where my balls rest against my inner thigh. Anyone else try this?
Do you ever get gaulded from the sweaty balls against the thighs? Where you get like a raised welt on the insides of your thighs. It hurts like hell.
-
why would you sweat sitting down?
I have no fucking clue. I just want to figure out how to get it to stop! I wish I was blessed with a non-sweating ass crack.
-
Do you ever get gaulded from the sweaty balls against the thighs? Where you get like a raised welt on the insides of your thighs. It hurts like hell.
Only a few rashes here and there with the occasional, oddly located blocked sweat gland that makes me think I have herpes for a day. In South FL, the humidity is a killer. You walk outside for a minute and BOOM ball sweat.
-
Simply way too entertaining to let die
-
Simply way too entertaining to let die
No worries nj, this thread may die but my Sea Monkeys will live forever!
-
No worries nj, this thread may die but my Sea Monkeys will live forever!
LMAO
-
get you a good grey shirt
the show off sweat nicely
-
Try the "wiping discreetly with the underside of your thigh" technique, where you get up from the chair by laterally moving in the seat to the left or right first, so the hammie part of the pant will wipe it before you stand up :D
Yeah like this:
-
That dog ain't got no dignity. Honey Badger would never do that..or maybe he would, he doesn't give a shit after all. Such a nastyass mofo..
-
Hey Dutch, could Honey Badger scare my Sea Monkeys away?
-
That is my problem, I am a sweater from way back. Never mattered what I weighed. I sweat so much my wife uses an umbrella when I am on top.
same here, I sweat right through a tshirt from my first 3 sets. Even as a skinny 14yo beanpole I'd sweat so much playing bball I looked like i'd been thrown in the pool. Has nothing to do with weight/fitness/age. At the end of the day, you're losing salt which is generally in excess in the body.
Anyone have informed advice on what minerals you should repalce if you sweat a lot (apart from h20)?
(http://www.sweatblock.com/images/excessive-sweating.jpg)
-
I have to wear dress pants for work. I either conduct or attend meetings all week long. When I sit on a vinyl or leather covered chair for over a 1/2 an hour, when I get up I leave what I like to call a "Sea Monkey". A small line of ass and/or ballsack sweat on the seat of the chair. Yesterday I was sitting next to a pretty good looking woman and was working her a little but when we got up for a break she looked down and seen my sea monkey. That pretty much ruined any chance I had if any. I bath everyday and have even tried baby powder in the morning. The baby powder just turns into cake batter.
Anyone else have this problem and has a solution? I thought of stuffing a slice of Wonder Bread in my shorts to soak it up but that could get messy as well. Pic available on request. Thank you in advance.
why don't you wear a pair of thin shorts or underarmor under your pants. they make the kind that absorbs sweat
-
-
Hey Dutch, could Honey Badger scare my Sea Monkeys away?
Absolutely, but it won't cause it doesn't give a shit. It just do what it please..
-
Absolutely, but it won't cause it doesn't give a shit. It just do what it please..
Dutch, do you think Honey Badger would give a shit if I duct taped him to my taint area to soak up the sea monkeys before they hit the chair?
-
Dutch, do you think Honey Badger would give a shit if I duct taped him to my taint area to soak up the sea monkeys before they hit the chair?
Ask gh15, he gives a shit every now and then..
-
I don't feel like reading the whole thread, but anyone recommended a diaper yet?
-
I don't feel like reading the whole thread, but anyone recommended a diaper yet?
Yes they did. Should I wear one under posing trunks? That would be a good look!
-
eat more fiber
-
eat more fiber
240, what will that do besides me shit more. God knows I do enough of that.
-
Yes they did. Should I wear one under posing trunks? That would be a good look!
Dunno. Do you were posing trunks at work then ?
-
Great info. I just don't want to stick a battery powered device in my ass crack. My wife tried that one time and I slapped the piss out of her.
LMAO !!!
-
Dunno. Do you were posing trunks at work then ?
Doesn't everyone? ;)
-
Gym**rat is a funny guy.. :D
-
Gym**rat is a funny guy.. :D
Thanks man. It just seems my life is a constant joke. Shit happens to me that does not happen to anyone else and if I didn't experience it, I wouldn't believe it myself. That is why I don't get upset if someone calls bullshit.
-
New Sea Monkey Drama today. It is 93 degrees with a heat index of 108 here in Indy. I go to Chick Fil-a for lunch. When I am done eating I get up forgetting to slide out and sure enough I leave a nice size summer sea monkey. Before I can turn back around the lady that wipes off the tables walks up, looks down at the sea monkey, gives me a "shitty" look then uses her towel and wipes up the sea monkey off my seat. She then proceeds to wipe the tabletop off with the same towel. Can sea monkey-itis get transfered from one human to another that way?
-
I sometimes get a 'sea monkey' also in the florida heat but my main problem use to be my underarms. i'd pit stain every morning and even worse when I was on a cycle. I used the drysol stuff and it didn't help much and my pits always tingled when I used it. Then I got the drionic machine and it cured the problem. My next step was botox and that stuff isn't cheap and not covered by insurance. The drionic machine might be nasty to use in your buttcrack but it'll probably alleviate your seas monkey problems ;D
-
I sometimes get a 'sea monkey' also in the florida heat but my main problem use to be my underarms. i'd pit stain every morning and even worse when I was on a cycle. I used the drysol stuff and it didn't help much and my pits always tingled when I used it. Then I got the drionic machine and it cured the problem. My next step was botox and that stuff isn't cheap and not covered by insurance. The drionic machine might be nasty to use in your buttcrack but it'll probably alleviate your seas monkey problems ;D
Botox huh?? I have always wanted to have botox done on one testicle. I would then pop it out for my wife and tell her I have testicular cancer so I could get a pity blow job.
Thanks for the info though.
-
My major issue is back sweat. I can't seem to keep my back dry no matter what. anyone have any good suggestions for this problem? I may have to start wearing a suit and tie again soon, so I am a little concerned.
-
I sweat very easily too, my ass crack, and especially my hands and feet, and after years of trying pretty much everything I could try including anti perspirants and drionic treatments, I one day just thought "Well, fuck it. I sweat. It's not pretty, but if other people have an issue with it then it's their problem not mine".
I do do the sea monkey slide on hot days though!
-
Sea Monkey's a real badass..it just doesn't give a shit.
-
I sweat very easily too, my ass crack, and especially my hands and feet, and after years of trying pretty much everything I could try including anti perspirants and drionic treatments, I one day just thought "Well, fuck it. I sweat. It's not pretty, but if other people have an issue with it then it's their problem not mine".
I do do the sea monkey slide on hot days though!
You can get a operation for the hands and feet....
-
Sea Monkey's a real badass..it just doesn't give a shit.
That is the truth.
(http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/nn137/kaylannjones/seamonkey.jpg)
-
New Sea Monkey Drama today. It is 93 degrees with a heat index of 108 here in Indy. I go to Chick Fil-a for lunch. When I am done eating I get up forgetting to slide out and sure enough I leave a nice size summer sea monkey. Before I can turn back around the lady that wipes off the tables walks up, looks down at the sea monkey, gives me a "shitty" look then uses her towel and wipes up the sea monkey off my seat. She then proceeds to wipe the tabletop off with the same towel. Can sea monkey-itis get transfered from one human to another that way?
Did she smell at the towel as well ?
-
Did she smell at the towel as well ?
I believe she was a little too disgusted at me to do that. I was just hoping that the next person that sat at the table did not drop a waffle fry on the table then eat it. I think that would constitute an A-T-M.
-
Just imagine: a hot chick could be ATM'ing your Sea Monkey !!!
-
Just imagine: a hot chick could be ATM'ing your Sea Monkey !!!
Wouldn't that be considered a SMTM? Also, would be it manditory that I kiss her afterwards?
-
Monkey see, monkey do..
http://ask.metafilter.com/46778/How-to-cure-a-sweaty-bum-at-work (http://ask.metafilter.com/46778/How-to-cure-a-sweaty-bum-at-work)
-
Botox huh?? I have always wanted to have botox done on one testicle. I would then pop it out for my wife and tell her I have testicular cancer so I could get a pity blow job.
Thanks for the info though.
LMFAO!!!!
-
Make sure you have 100% wool slacks, lots of cheaper slacks are of a polyester and wool mix, and they're much sweatier.
-
Make sure you have 100% wool slacks, lots of cheaper slacks are of a polyester and wool mix, and they're much sweatier.
I really do appreciate the advice but if I wore wool pants I would be constantly scratching. People in the meeting would be throwing me crab combs across the conference room tables. Not very professional.
-
Thank me later...
-
Thank me later...
dutch, just looked at the website to check these out. Thank you, these are a win-win situation. They are actually for fecal incontinence but I could use them to soak up the Sea Monkeys AND catch fecal matter if I happen to shart! I believe I just sported wood.
-
dutch, just looked at the website to check these out. Thank you, these are a win-win situation. They are actually for fecal incontinence but I could use them to soak up the Sea Monkeys AND catch fecal matter if I happen to shart! I believe I just sported wood.
Hahahaha!
-
The term "sea monkeys" will never be the same again :) ;) :D ;D 8)
-
The term "sea monkeys" will never be the same again :) ;) :D ;D 8)
It was 100 degrees with a heat index of 118 degrees yesterday. I didn't leave a sea monkey, I left a fucking sea gorilla yesterday. It was very impressive.
Team Sea Monkey
-
You should make a vid of it evaporating into the summer air...and post it here.
-
You should make a vid of it evaporating into the summer air...and post it here.
dutch, I will definitely try and do that. I will get on the treadmill, work up a good lather then sit down. The only problem I see is my wife is home on the weekend as well. If she catches me how in the hell am I supposed to explain to her why I am slipping into my dress pants, working up a sweat on the treadmill, going into my office and sit down in a chair for a few minutes, jump up and take a picture of an ass sweat mark on the chair, and then jump on the computer and post it on a bodybuilding website. SHE WILL THINK I AM FUCKING NUTS MAN! Hell I think I am fucking nuts!
-
dutch, I will definitely try and do that. I will get on the treadmill, work up a good lather then sit down. The only problem I see is my wife is home on the weekend as well. If she catches me how in the hell am I supposed to explain to her why I am slipping into my dress pants, working up a sweat on the treadmill, going into my office and sit down in a chair for a few minutes, jump up and take a picture of an ass sweat mark on the chair, and then jump on the computer and post it on a bodybuilding website. SHE WILL THINK I AM FUCKING NUTS MAN! Hell I think I am fucking nuts!
;D and vid the expression on her face too ;D
-
;D and vid the expression on her face too ;D
She continually has a disgusted look on her face anytime I am around. She thinks my head is pretty fucked up. She gave me that look in bed last night. I asked her if she would pull her tit out, take an ice cube and rub it on her nipple until it got rock hard, and then run her nipple into the eye of my cock and fuck the hell out of it. Her facial expression was priceless. I try to present her with a scenario every night.
-
Damn, all that and the sea monkeys too.....good thing you got a new shitter..
-
Damn, all that and the sea monkeys too.....good thing you got a new shitter..
Mr new shitter hasn't arrived yet :'( Wife was waiting on me to leave to go out for dinner and I needed to drop a quick pile. 1 damn turd, @ 3" long and not much over 1" in girth and the old fucking toilet locked up like 2 dogs in the summer. She laughed and said, "I bet you can't wait for your new crapper".
-
She continually has a disgusted look on her face anytime I am around. She thinks my head is pretty fucked up. She gave me that look in bed last night. I asked her if she would pull her tit out, take an ice cube and rub it on her nipple until it got rock hard, and then run her nipple into the eye of my cock and fuck the hell out of it. Her facial expression was priceless. I try to present her with a scenario every night.
I like the cut of your jib ;D
I used to do similar things to my ex wife. like talk her into fucked up scenarios, such as sitting on her face and busting ass straight into her mouth. she would protest until I would badger her enough, and then she would eventually agree. I would then turn the tables on her, and question her character for agreeing to such a thing.
-
I like the cut of your jib ;D
I used to do similar things to my ex wife. like talk her into fucked up scenarios, such as sitting on her face and busting ass straight into her mouth. she would protest until I would badger her enough, and then she would eventually agree. I would then turn the tables on her, and question her character for agreeing to such a thing.
First off, "I like the cut of your jib??"....how did you know I was circumsized?
You could actually get her to agree to letting you bust ass into her mouth. Dude, you married a princess. That is a team player and a keeper you lucky bastard. I am jealous.
-
First off, "I like the cut of your jib??"....how did you know I was circumsized?
You could actually get her to agree to letting you bust ass into her mouth. Dude, you married a princess. That is a team player and a keeper you lucky bastard. I am jealous.
she was the sort that would gladly lick my sea monkeys off the chair if I asked nicely, however that sort of pig devotion only goes so far ;D
-
she was the sort that would gladly lick my sea monkeys off the chair if I asked nicely, however that sort of pig devotion only goes so far ;D
This sea monkey licker you speak of. Would she happen to live in the Midwest? I know she is your ex but would you hook a brother up please?
-
What's it called when a woman leaves one? I saw this semi attractive older woman get up from the chair after doing massive db presses with the 15's and she left two squiggly sweat marks....I'm assuming women don't leave sea monkeys.
-
What's it called when a woman leaves one? I saw this semi attractive older woman get up from the chair after doing massive db presses with the 15's and she left two squiggly sweat marks....I'm assuming women don't leave sea monkeys.
Most would call that a "She Monkey". I call it a snack! ;D
-
Gym, try using the old spice body spray and spraying ur ass. Keeps me nice and dry...then again, I don't usually get sea monkeys. 100 degrees here in NYC and kept me nice and cool
-
That's fucking disgusting but aside from that look up Fresh Balls.
-
Update: I realized that my sea monkeys are worse when my hemmroids are flared up. Once they chilled down I tried some Axe Dry anti-perspirant and it help quite a bit. Thank you all for your suggestions and support. I am thinking of starting a Sea Monkey Support website since I have found so many others that suffer from this ailment as I do. Fight the good fight my friends.
-
You could start a "Sea Monkey Anonymous" support group.
"Hello everybody, my name is John and I have Sea Monkeys"...
-
http://www.sofreshsodry.com/products/fresh-balls/
-
You could start a "Sea Monkey Anonymous" support group.
"Hello everybody, my name is John and I have Sea Monkeys"...
Can you imagine when the meeting is dismissed. Everyone gets up and it would be a school of sea monkeys. The aroma would be quite pungent I would imagine.
-
:D
-
:D
Tried it, and it sucks. Turns into cake batter on the first bead of ass sweat.
-
Hey Ron/Mod, you forgot to tear this one down.
(http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRfL-fTJ6iLNS5qIWRvQLR50SCiB1CVmk-aHxSR3wd2DVHvvNddIg)
-
What happened to the Sea Monkeys, still there ?
-
It is 90 degrees today and the Sea Monkeys are back out in full force. Anyone know of anything new on the market to battle this ass sweat?