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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Danimal77 on December 29, 2013, 09:31:42 PM
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So, I started dating this good looking chick a few weeks ago. She really poured on the sweet texts from day 1 and hell, the attention is nice, BUT, here's the thing, the attention only comes in text. When I see her in person, 99% of the time, she talks only about herself, NEVER asking me questions about anything (my life, my interests, my past, etc). IF I do bring up something related to me and NOT related to her, she immediately says: "oh yeah?" and then redirects the conversation immediately back to her.
Example:
Me: Hey, so I had to do overtime today at work. I'm exhausted.
Her: Oh yeah? I had to do overtime last week. I hate doing overtime. Last year I did overtime for 1 week straight, etc......
Me: SO, did you know that I do martial arts?
Her: Oh yeah? I did martial arts when I was younger. I did it for 2 months. I hated it, etc..
Me: Hey, I had a great day today. I ran into an old friend of mine and...
Her: Oh yeah? Yeah, I had a good day too. I did this and I did that...
SO, at 1st I was thinking hmmmm, this is a bit strange. I mean you begin to become aware that these are not real conversations. I've stopped her more than once now and made her aware of this and she plays the victim and either doesn't understand or doesn't acknowledge what I'm telling her.
It's gotten to the point that I dread f u c k i n g talking to her. She is good looking and really sweet in other ways, but DAMN, she's totally self-centered and selfish as anything.
I saw her on Saturday. I had plans to see my family on Sunday and she tells me that I chose to see my family over her? I said excuse me? She says well, you could have seen me instead of your family. I said HEY, my sister's going through a rough time and it was important for me to be there for her today. She replies back well, so I guess what's important to me, to spend time with my bf, isn't important to you? After that I ignored her and have all day.
Is this girl nuts? How to handle self-centered/selfish women, who CAN be really nice and sweet in other ways?
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I'm annoyed just from reading this lol sorry :-\
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Use her for sex for as long as you can with minimal time investment and date other women in the meanwhile.
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I'm annoyed just from reading this lol sorry :-\
You're annoyed by her actions?
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So tell her all of this, instead of coming on here and telling us. I noticed no one speaks from the heart. People are hesitant to let others know how they feel. She may be totally unaware she is doing this, which I bet she is. She may just need someone to point this out to her, in order for her to change. You can either, A) dump her, or B) let her know how you feel and hope she changes.
If she doesnt change, then obviously leave her. But avoidance never works, especially in relationships.
However, the whole incident with your family is ridiculous. She is definitely in the wrong.
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all kidding aside, she's starved for attention and insecure and dying to get praise/props. She needs "words of affirmation" - that's her love language. For it to work, if you want it to work, spend one evening talking about her nonstop, always deflecting and never talking about yourself. She'll be intrigued by you. Be aloof and mysterious. Make her beg for details about yourself. Then, make everything you say intriguing, and then continually redirect things back to her.
She'll fall in love with you.
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She'll fall in love with you.
And that`s a good thing how?
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all kidding aside, she's starved for attention and insecure and dying to get praise/props. She needs "words of affirmation" - that's her love language. For it to work, if you want it to work, spend one evening talking about her nonstop, always deflecting and never talking about yourself. She'll be intrigued by you. Be aloof and mysterious. Make her beg for details about yourself. Then, make everything you say intriguing, and then continually redirect things back to her.
She'll fall in love with you.
I totally get what you're saying and I agree and I would do that, but man, what about the charade she pulled today, regarding my seeing my sister who is going through a brutal divorce and custody battle with her little kids? This girl is essentially saying SCREW your sister and your nephew and niece. I don't care what they are going through and SEE ME INSTEAD.
I was so shocked by the level of selfishness in her today (which went beyond her just talking about herself) that I stopped looking at her texts and I'm sure they have piled up in my phone and I'm sure not one of them have any form of apology attached to them. It's not even rational to think that after a few weeks you can tell someone that YOU are more important than the other persons family members.
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I totally get what you're saying and I agree and I would do that, but man, what about the charade she pulled today, regarding my seeing my sister who is going through a brutal divorce and custody battle with her little kids? This girl is essentially saying SCREW your sister and your nephew and niece. I don't care what they are going through and SEE ME INSTEAD.
I was so shocked by the level of selfishness in her today (which went beyond her just talking about herself) that I stopped looking at her texts and I'm sure they have piled up in my phone and I'm sure not one of them have any form of apology attached to them. It's not even rational to think that after a few weeks you can tell someone that YOU are more important than the other persons family members.
Did you not read my advice? That`s your best bet
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So tell her all of this, instead of coming on here and telling us. I noticed no one speaks from the heart. People are hesitant to let others know how they feel. She may be totally unaware she is doing this, which I bet she is. She may just need someone to point this out to her, in order for her to change. You can either, A) dump her, or B) let her know how you feel and hope she changes.
If she doesnt change, then obviously leave her. But avoidance never works, especially in relationships.
However, the whole incident with your family is ridiculous. She is definitely in the wrong.
I have. Several times now.
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Did you not read my advice? That`s your best bet
I did read your advice. While trying not to sound too homo, I don't want to just use someone for sex.
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I have. Several times now.
Then end it. And I agree, it is not right to use someone just for sex. I would never do that. Just make a clean break, man.
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I did read your advice. While trying not to sound too homo, I don't want to just use someone for sex.
Well, she`s full of herself, doesn`t give a shit about you - you`re not interested in using her for sex. Leave her.
What are you hoping to hear? That she will change and she`ll be your amazing hot wife with an amazing personality? You already know it, it`s not going to happen. So stop wasting your time. Sorry to sound harsh bro but that`s the truth.
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Then end it. And I agree, it is not right to use someone just for sex. I would never do that. Just make a clean break, man.
I don't know why I feel bad/guilty. I keep thinking this is how she's always been and if I'm patient with her and TEACH her, she'll be able to kick her bad habit. She genuinely is a good/nice person, who can be super affectionate and sweet, but that other characteristic of hers is probably THE biggest turn off I can think of.
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She genuinely is a good/nice person, who can be super affectionate and sweet
Her telling you to f*ck your family is a weird way to show affection. Sounds like a very one dimensional chick to me.
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Well, she`s full of herself, doesn`t give a shit about you - you`re not interested in using her for sex. Leave her.
What are you hoping to hear? That she will change and she`ll be your amazing hot wife with an amazing personality? You already know it, it`s not going to happen. So stop wasting your time. Sorry to sound harsh bro but that`s the truth.
Nah, it's cool bro. I appreciate the honesty. It's messed up, but she has this other AMAZING side to her, where she's extremely warm, sweet, complimenting and affectionate (which you don't find that much in chicks anymore), YET, there's that selfish/me me me side of her, like a fucking Jekyll and Hyde.
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Her telling you to f*ck your family is a weird way to show affection. Sounds like a very one dimensional chick to me.
Yeah, I agree. Still can't wrap my head around that. What's even more messed up is that last night she was all supportive and said, hey, if you need anything, let me know and then today she send me "the text" saying that it's been bugging her all day that I chose to spend the day with my sister and her kids over spending it with my girlfriend".
That's just on another level of irrational insanity right there ???
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but she has this other AMAZING side to her, where she's extremely warm, sweet, complimenting and affectionate
Sounds like she`s going through motions doing that. Truly warm and affectionate person has the ability to feel someone else`s pain and feel empathy. Sounds like she doesn`t have that ability. And how is she exactly sweet and complimenting if all she tells you is `oh yeah` and pays no attention to you at all?
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I don't know why I feel bad/guilty. I keep thinking this is how she's always been and if I'm patient with her and TEACH her, she'll be able to kick her bad habit. She genuinely is a good/nice person, who can be super affectionate and sweet, but that other characteristic of hers is probably THE biggest turn off I can think of.
But that's the thing, its NOT your job to teach her. We dont enter into relationships hoping to "change" someone. Everyone has their faults and its a matter of working each others faults into both your lives. If you feel like she is too self-centered and that is a major turn off, then its not your job to try and change her, especially after you mentioned it to her numerous times. We all have to accept the shortcomings of others but sometimes its just too much, especially if it really strikes a nerve within us.
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Sounds like she`s going through motions doing that. Truly warm and affectionate person has the ability to feel someone else`s pain and feel empathy. Sounds like she doesn`t have that ability. And how is she exactly sweet and complimenting if all she tells you is `oh yeah` and pays no attention to you at all?
How? I'll tell you. Texts like these: "You mean the world to me". "I love you soooooooo much". "I miss my baby". The night before my exam (went back to do a Master's degree) she flooded my text with good luck and you're going to do amazing. You're the best, etc..
The thing is, after my exam, we had plans to get together, but I was feeling like s h i.t and told her I was going to go home and sleep it off and she (like today) got pis.sed off and said, oh, so you're cancelling on me? I thought we had plans? I called her on her sh.it and she got better, but she pulled that cr.ap today.
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Her telling you to f*ck your family is a weird way to show affection. Sounds like a very one dimensional chick to me.
It's selfish and its very immature.
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But that's the thing, its NOT your job to teach her. We dont enter into relationships hoping to "change" someone. Everyone has their faults and its a matter of working each others faults into both your lives. If you feel like she is too self-centered and that is a major turn off, then its not your job to try and change her, especially after you mentioned it to her numerous times. We all have to accept the shortcomings of others but sometimes its just too much, especially if it really strikes a nerve within us.
Great post!!!!
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How? I'll tell you. Texts like these: "You mean the world to me". "I love you soooooooo much". "I miss my baby". The night before my exam (went back to do a Master's degree) she flooded my text with good luck and you're going to do amazing. You're the best, etc..
Oh wow, she`s a keeper. End of thread.
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But that's the thing, its NOT your job to teach her. We dont enter into relationships hoping to "change" someone. Everyone has their faults and its a matter of working each others faults into both your lives. If you feel like she is too self-centered and that is a major turn off, then its not your job to try and change her, especially after you mentioned it to her numerous times. We all have to accept the shortcomings of others but sometimes its just too much, especially if it really strikes a nerve within us.
I agree, but seriously tell me, how difficult is it to stop talking and listen to what the other person has to say, or stop talking and start thinking of questions to ask the other person and then listen to the answer and NOT immediately talk about ourselves? For arguments sake, say she likes me and this behavior of hers is ingrained into her and she's clearly not aware that she does this and naturally slips back into it, because it's all she's known. She now meets a guy who's pointing it out. She's now "becoming" aware. Who's to say that she won't become a better person in time, IF I'm patient?
That said, what she did today was just disgusting and I don't even want to address her, because I'm just so blown away and more importantly, if someone can't even recognize how wrong she was regarding my family, then there's nothing I can say to change that.
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she issues nonstop compliments, cause that's what she wants. She sends them 24/7 because she wants them 24/7.
in person, she wants to be repaid for all the sweet things she sent you, and she's insecure, so when she gets nervous, she does what makes her feel empowered - List her accomplishments, experiences, and pearls of wisdom.
It will never get easier... she's insecure, it's just how she's built. If you live & die by self-praise like her, then yall will be a good match. If you're happy just chilling on the couch drinking a glass of wine, enjoying a movie, then yall are probably not a good fit.
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Oh wow, she`s a keeper. End of thread.
Yeah well, that shi.t feels good, although her other behavior keeps fuc/king negating it.
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It's selfish and its very immature.
That's the thing. Her maturity level is that of a 14 year old girl.
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she issues nonstop compliments, cause that's what she wants. She sends them 24/7 because she wants them 24/7.
in person, she wants to be repaid for all the sweet things she sent you, and she's insecure, so when she gets nervous, she does what makes her feel empowered - List her accomplishments, experiences, and pearls of wisdom.
It will never get easier... she's insecure, it's just how she's built. If you live & die by self-praise like her, then yall will be a good match. If you're happy just chilling on the couch drinking a glass of wine, enjoying a movie, then yall are probably not a good fit.
Dude, that's some heavy sh. it. And you're so right. When I do compliment her, she floats on air.
You still haven't addressed the sh/it she pulled today though.
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That's the thing. Her maturity level is that of a 14 year old girl.
Actions speak louder than words. It's all good that she's sweet etc but she has to show you through actions that she means these words. Being mature and supportive and understanding about you spending time with your sister instead of her is what she should have done. All the sweet talk in the world won't make up for her lack of maturity and selfishness.
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Actions speak louder than words. It's all good that she's sweet etc but she has to show you through actions that she means these words. Being mature and supportive and understanding about you spending time with your sister instead of her is what she should have done. All the sweet talk in the world won't make up for her lack of maturity and selfishness.
Truer words have never been spoken. She's a walking contradiction. Her actions keep negating her words. I call her on it. She gets defensive and acts victimized (an immature reaction). I soften up, bordering on being apologetic, she then feels "better" and THEN apologizes for her actions, only to repeat them again (like she did today), NOT even understanding how immature and wrong/selfish it is. I bring it up to her and again, the same cycle begins.
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Truer words have never been spoken. She's a walking contradiction. Her actions keep negating her words. I call her on it. She gets defensive and acts victimized (an immature reaction). I soften up, bordering on being apologetic, she then feels "better" and THEN apologizes for her actions, only to repeat them again (like she did today), NOT even understanding how immature and wrong/selfish it is. I bring it up to her and again, the same cycle begins.
I can't see it changing or getting better. You are just not compatiable. I have done this myself, waited for someone to change or try and teach him and it doesn't work trust me. They never do. If this person can't understand what you are trying to tell them, then nothing will be different. It will become a cycle of frustration and a time waster. I know that sounds harsh but I am being straight up.
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I agree, but seriously tell me, how difficult is it to stop talking and listen to what the other person has to say, or stop talking and start thinking of questions to ask the other person and then listen to the answer and NOT immediately talk about ourselves? For arguments sake, say she likes me and this behavior of hers is ingrained into her and she's clearly not aware that she does this and naturally slips back into it, because it's all she's known. She now meets a guy who's pointing it out. She's now "becoming" aware. Who's to say that she won't become a better person in time, IF I'm patient?
That said, what she did today was just disgusting and I don't even want to address her, because I'm just so blown away and more importantly, if someone can't even recognize how wrong she was regarding my family, then there's nothing I can say to change that.
Listen, you can come up with a million "WHAT IF" scenarios. You know the old saying, "If the Queen had balls, she would be the king."
Is there a chance she may change if you are patient? Of course there is. However, is there a chance you stay with her, she never changes and you just "wasted" your time? Of course there is.
You have to make a conscious decision based on how you currently feel and what your current needs are. Could she change in 6 months or a year or change in 5 years? Of course. But that is time loss if she doesnt change. Perhaps your time should be spent on a women who is going to meet more of your needs from the initial meeting.
I am going to give you the best piece of advice right now that will settle this. Here it goes:
If you have to come on Getbig for dating advice because shit is that fucked up, you know you're in a shitty situation and should leave. ;D ;D ;D
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Listen, you can come up with a million "WHAT IF" scenarios. You know the old saying, "If the Queen had balls, she would be the king."
Is there a chance she may change if you are patient? Of course there is. However, is there a chance you stay with her, she never changes and you just "wasted" your time? Of course there is.
You have to make a conscious decision based on how you currently feel and what your current needs are. Could she change in 6 months or a year or change in 5 years? Of course. But that is time loss if she doesnt change. Perhaps your time should be spent on a women who is going to meet more of your needs from the initial meeting.
I am going to give you the best piece of advice right now that will settle this. Here it goes:
If you have to come on Getbig for dating advice because shit is that fucked up, you know you're in a shitty situation and should leave. ;D ;D ;D
Another perfect post.
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God damn women are annoying sometimes. Kick her ass to the curb.
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You're annoyed by her actions?
YES...how everything is turned around to be about her.
For her to get mad that you're spending time with your family is a huge red flag. Her reaction was not good. Why settle for someone who is 1/2 nice when you can be with someone who is all around nice? Selfishness is a huge red flag. It leads to so many bad things.
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YES...how everything is turned around to be about her.
For her to get mad that you're spending time with your family is a huge red flag. Her reaction was not good. Why settle for someone who is 1/2 nice when you can be with someone who is all around nice? Selfishness is a huge red flag. It leads to so many bad things.
Yeah, that prompted me to stop replying/reading her texts for the remainder of the day (still haven't looked at them). What's crazy is that she won't even realize WHY I am so turned off and exactly what she did wrong today (regarding my family). Telling someone who "supposedly" cares about you that you're sister and her kids are going through a rough time at the moment and you need to be there for them, and then getting a reply, well, "what about MY need of having my boyfriend spend time with me?". That was enough for me to say okay man, you can stop feeling guilty now. This is the icing on the cake. Days will go by and she won't understand or recognize the extreme narcissism behind her actions. To her, it's perfectly normal and natural to feel the way she does. Insane as that sounds.
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I say try communicating to her exactly how you feel in as nice a way as possible. Do everything you can to make her aware of your annoyance but do it in a charming way bro. This girl is insecure and probably been spoilt by her parents hence her behaviour. She obviously really likes you as well so try and salvage before you move on. At least then you won't look back with too much regret.
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Yeah, that prompted me to stop replying/reading her texts for the remainder of the day (still haven't looked at them). What's crazy is that she won't even realize WHY I am so turned off and exactly what she did wrong today (regarding my family). Telling someone who "supposedly" cares about you that you're sister and her kids are going through a rough time at the moment and you need to be there for them, and then getting a reply, well, "what about MY need of having my boyfriend spend time with me?". That was enough for me to say okay man, you can stop feeling guilty now. This is the icing on the cake. Days will go by and she won't understand or recognize the extreme narcissism behind her actions. To her, it's perfectly normal and natural to feel the way she does. Insane as that sounds.
Never be with someone cuz you feel guilty for them.
Once you decide to read her 1,000 texts, you'll realize more that stepping back was the right thing to do. I'm curious to know just how crazy she got with her words...all with no "sorry"
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I say try communicating to her exactly how you feel in as nice a way as possible. Do everything you can to make her aware of your annoyance but do it in a charming way bro. This girl is insecure and probably been spoilt by her parents hence her behaviour. She obviously really likes you as well so try and salvage before you move on. At least then you won't look back with too much regret.
I think that's a good point. Gotta tread that fine line between ending it but doing so in a way that leaves you two on somewhat good/amicable terms.
But get out before it's too late. Time is not your friend in any situation like this.
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I'm sure she likes you, but if she respected you she wouldn't do what she did.
You can tell her how you feel, talk about ending the relationship, she'll listen, maybe apologize, maybe beg forgiveness, promise it'll never happen again, that she'll change and be just what you want her to be.
But one day.....it'll all happen again! What she has is not curable lol you can't change her.
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I'm sure she likes you, but if she respected you she wouldn't do what she did.
You can tell her how you feel, talk about ending the relationship, she'll listen, maybe apologize, maybe beg forgiveness, promise it'll never happen again, that she'll change and be just what you want her to be.
But one day.....it'll all happen again! What she has is not curable lol you can't change her.
I kinda think with broads like this, they are completely oblivious to their actions and they will forever be the ones somehow being hard done by. Always the victim.
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She seems like a typical woman.
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Use the Lee Priest Method, take a dump on her then she'll have to talk about your shit
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I kinda think with broads like this, they are completely oblivious to their actions and they will forever be the ones somehow being hard done by. Always the victim.
Playing victim.....HUGE red flag!
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...and when you'll be complimenting her on everything for some time, giving her the attention she needs and craves, she'll get bored and find someone else
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Never be with someone cuz you feel guilty for them.
Once you decide to read her 1,000 texts, you'll realize more that stepping back was the right thing to do. I'm curious to know just how crazy she got with her words...all with no "sorry"
Well, after I stopped replying to her BS texts yesterday, making me feel bad and guilty because I chose to spend time with my family, I can only imagine how she's going to feel when she realizes that I'm not engaging or participating in her crazy selfishness. I have no interest talking with a woman who tells me that being there for my sister in need should be secondary to being there for a girl I just met a few weeks ago. I don't even want to read the texts she sent me last night, or will probably send me today. They'll probably go something like: "well, I guess you don't want to talk. Fine. Goodbye". There will be no epiphany on her part, realizing how wrong she was and how she pushed me away/turned me off. Doing so would be her admitting to herself that she was in the wrong and self-centered people don't have the ability to do that on their own.
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Yeah, that prompted me to stop replying/reading her texts for the remainder of the day (still haven't looked at them). What's crazy is that she won't even realize WHY I am so turned off and exactly what she did wrong today (regarding my family). Telling someone who "supposedly" cares about you that you're sister and her kids are going through a rough time at the moment and you need to be there for them, and then getting a reply, well, "what about MY need of having my boyfriend spend time with me?". That was enough for me to say okay man, you can stop feeling guilty now. This is the icing on the cake. Days will go by and she won't understand or recognize the extreme narcissism behind her actions. To her, it's perfectly normal and natural to feel the way she does. Insane as that sounds.
Besides taking the bold step of not reading her texts ::), is there any other action you have taken? I'd guess not, as the vibe I'm getting from you is that you are still enjoying fucking her a bit too much, and still looking for people to help you rationalize why you should stay with her.
Also, something that (IIRC) booty mentioned in that topic about female marines not being able to do pullups: Why settle for 'okay'? Why not keep looking for the best? Why accept mediocrity? Granted, it took me a while to learn this lesson. But it worked out in the end.
Unless you are fugly, then by all means stick with her. ;D
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Well, after I stopped replying to her BS texts yesterday, making me feel bad and guilty because I chose to spend time with my family, I can only imagine how she's going to feel when she realizes that I'm not engaging or participating in her crazy selfishness. I have no interest talking with a woman who tells me that being there for my sister in need should be secondary to being there for a girl I just met a few weeks ago. I don't even want to read the texts she sent me last night, or will probably send me today. They'll probably go something like: "well, I guess you don't want to talk. Fine. Goodbye". There will be no epiphany on her part, realizing how wrong she was and how she pushed me away/turned me off. Doing so would be her admitting to herself that she was in the wrong and self-centered people don't have the ability to do that on their own.
But you are keeping your options with her open by not telling her this to her face?
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Use the Lee Priest Method, take a dump on her then she'll have to talk about your shit
I mean really? >:(
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I mean really? >:(
Case in point, you are talking about it arnt you
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Case in point, you are talking about it arnt you
No I am not.
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No I am not.
What was the angry face referring to then if not personal experience?
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What was the angry face referring to then if not personal experience?
The angry face was for you because you are talking shit, as usual.
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The angry face was for you because you are talking shit, as usual.
Pun intended?
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Pun intended?
Sigh...
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Sigh...
Sorry but you walked in to that one
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Sorry but you walked in to that one
Keeping it turd related. ;D
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Keeping it turd related. ;D
;)
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There are many other women out there willing to suck and fuck...
GET RID OF HER.
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I am pretty sure the OP knows what to do.
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So, I started dating this good looking chick a few weeks ago. She really poured on the sweet texts from day 1 and hell, the attention is nice, BUT, here's the thing, the attention only comes in text. When I see her in person, 99% of the time, she talks only about herself, NEVER asking me questions about anything (my life, my interests, my past, etc). IF I do bring up something related to me and NOT related to her, she immediately says: "oh yeah?" and then redirects the conversation immediately back to her.
Example:
Me: Hey, so I had to do overtime today at work. I'm exhausted.
Her: Oh yeah? I had to do overtime last week. I hate doing overtime. Last year I did overtime for 1 week straight, etc......
Me: SO, did you know that I do martial arts?
Her: Oh yeah? I did martial arts when I was younger. I did it for 2 months. I hated it, etc..
Me: Hey, I had a great day today. I ran into an old friend of mine and...
Her: Oh yeah? Yeah, I had a good day too. I did this and I did that...
SO, at 1st I was thinking hmmmm, this is a bit strange. I mean you begin to become aware that these are not real conversations. I've stopped her more than once now and made her aware of this and she plays the victim and either doesn't understand or doesn't acknowledge what I'm telling her.
It's gotten to the point that I dread f u c k i n g talking to her. She is good looking and really sweet in other ways, but DAMN, she's totally self-centered and selfish as anything.
I saw her on Saturday. I had plans to see my family on Sunday and she tells me that I chose to see my family over her? I said excuse me? She says well, you could have seen me instead of your family. I said HEY, my sister's going through a rough time and it was important for me to be there for her today. She replies back well, so I guess what's important to me, to spend time with my bf, isn't important to you? After that I ignored her and have all day.
Is this girl nuts? How to handle self-centered/selfish women, who CAN be really nice and sweet in other ways?
no man shes lovely
clog her mouth up with the cock more often.
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I don't understand your your problem. self centered, selfish=woman if men understand that from the start they would never have this problem
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But that's the thing, its NOT your job to teach her. We dont enter into relationships hoping to "change" someone. Everyone has their faults and its a matter of working each others faults into both your lives. If you feel like she is too self-centered and that is a major turn off, then its not your job to try and change her, especially after you mentioned it to her numerous times. We all have to accept the shortcomings of others but sometimes its just too much, especially if it really strikes a nerve within us.
this is actually very good advice
ive never worked out why people get with someone then try and change everything about them
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Break up, you will be better off.
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she just has self confidence issues bro, if you play this right you will make her addicted to you and youll get away with unheard of things in the future.
this is not a problem,this is a victim ;D
damn be bit creative :D
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Well, after I stopped replying to her BS texts yesterday, making me feel bad and guilty because I chose to spend time with my family, I can only imagine how she's going to feel when she realizes that I'm not engaging or participating in her crazy selfishness. I have no interest talking with a woman who tells me that being there for my sister in need should be secondary to being there for a girl I just met a few weeks ago. I don't even want to read the texts she sent me last night, or will probably send me today. They'll probably go something like: "well, I guess you don't want to talk. Fine. Goodbye". There will be no epiphany on her part, realizing how wrong she was and how she pushed me away/turned me off. Doing so would be her admitting to herself that she was in the wrong and self-centered people don't have the ability to do that on their own.
Ok. You seem to need to be right and feel vindicated by making it clear how wrong she is. Is she? Yes, based on what you've said, but that doesn't matter. Leave the question of who is right to the side.
The nub of it is that you find her hard to take. That's the essence of your gripe. If that's the case then there's nothing for it. You either enjoy someone's personality or you don't.
For me, a good sign that someone is constantly on my nerves is that every trespass is a last straw moment, demonstrates her real personality, etc, and I make a big deal out of it to myself and talk myself into holding a grudge like a fucker over inconsequential shit. If I like her then it's no big effort to overlook bad behavior and I'll easily write it off as a human foible. My disposition toward her holds way more sway than the rightness or wrongness of her actions or attitudes.
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So, I started dating this good looking chick a few weeks ago. She really poured on the sweet texts from day 1 and hell, the attention is nice, BUT, here's the thing, the attention only comes in text. When I see her in person, 99% of the time, she talks only about herself, NEVER asking me questions about anything (my life, my interests, my past, etc). IF I do bring up something related to me and NOT related to her, she immediately says: "oh yeah?" and then redirects the conversation immediately back to her.
Example:
Me: Hey, so I had to do overtime today at work. I'm exhausted.
Her: Oh yeah? I had to do overtime last week. I hate doing overtime. Last year I did overtime for 1 week straight, etc......
Me: SO, did you know that I do martial arts?
Her: Oh yeah? I did martial arts when I was younger. I did it for 2 months. I hated it, etc..
Me: Hey, I had a great day today. I ran into an old friend of mine and...
Her: Oh yeah? Yeah, I had a good day too. I did this and I did that...
SO, at 1st I was thinking hmmmm, this is a bit strange. I mean you begin to become aware that these are not real conversations. I've stopped her more than once now and made her aware of this and she plays the victim and either doesn't understand or doesn't acknowledge what I'm telling her.
It's gotten to the point that I dread f u c k i n g talking to her. She is good looking and really sweet in other ways, but DAMN, she's totally self-centered and selfish as anything.
I saw her on Saturday. I had plans to see my family on Sunday and she tells me that I chose to see my family over her? I said excuse me? She says well, you could have seen me instead of your family. I said HEY, my sister's going through a rough time and it was important for me to be there for her today. She replies back well, so I guess what's important to me, to spend time with my bf, isn't important to you? After that I ignored her and have all day.
Is this girl nuts? How to handle self-centered/selfish women, who CAN be really nice and sweet in other ways?
Sounds like you're in need of a psychologist instead of a woman.
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1) Totally out of line for her to come at you for choosing your sister.
2) Girls like this can be a nice change of pace. Sit back and relax, don't take it too seriously. Enjoy the ride. You don't have to be "in charge". You don't have to run things. Just enjoy dinner and let her talk. And keep your eyes open for the next one.
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So, I started dating this good looking chick a few weeks ago. She really poured on the sweet texts from day 1 and hell, the attention is nice, BUT, here's the thing, the attention only comes in text. When I see her in person, 99% of the time, she talks only about herself, NEVER asking me questions about anything (my life, my interests, my past, etc). IF I do bring up something related to me and NOT related to her, she immediately says: "oh yeah?" and then redirects the conversation immediately back to her.
Example:
Me: Hey, so I had to do overtime today at work. I'm exhausted.
Her: Oh yeah? I had to do overtime last week. I hate doing overtime. Last year I did overtime for 1 week straight, etc......
Me: SO, did you know that I do martial arts?
Her: Oh yeah? I did martial arts when I was younger. I did it for 2 months. I hated it, etc..
Me: Hey, I had a great day today. I ran into an old friend of mine and...
Her: Oh yeah? Yeah, I had a good day too. I did this and I did that...
SO, at 1st I was thinking hmmmm, this is a bit strange. I mean you begin to become aware that these are not real conversations. I've stopped her more than once now and made her aware of this and she plays the victim and either doesn't understand or doesn't acknowledge what I'm telling her.
It's gotten to the point that I dread f u c k i n g talking to her. She is good looking and really sweet in other ways, but DAMN, she's totally self-centered and selfish as anything.
I saw her on Saturday. I had plans to see my family on Sunday and she tells me that I chose to see my family over her? I said excuse me? She says well, you could have seen me instead of your family. I said HEY, my sister's going through a rough time and it was important for me to be there for her today. She replies back well, so I guess what's important to me, to spend time with my bf, isn't important to you? After that I ignored her and have all day.
Is this girl nuts? How to handle self-centered/selfish women, who CAN be really nice and sweet in other ways?
Pics of your shaved, oiled and making muscles in a bedazzled manty or I call crap.
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all kidding aside, she's starved for attention and insecure and dying to get praise/props. She needs "words of affirmation" - that's her love language. For it to work, if you want it to work, spend one evening talking about her nonstop, always deflecting and never talking about yourself. She'll be intrigued by you. Be aloof and mysterious. Make her beg for details about yourself. Then, make everything you say intriguing, and then continually redirect things back to her.
She'll fall in love with you.
LOL...looks like 240 has been reading Gary Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages"
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ylGqNESML._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg)
http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388423910&sr=8-1&keywords=gary+chapman+5+love+languages
Good for you, 240. Good for you, and good for your wife! ;D
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So, I started dating this good looking chick a few weeks ago. She really poured on the sweet texts from day 1 and hell, the attention is nice, BUT, here's the thing, the attention only comes in text. When I see her in person, 99% of the time, she talks only about herself, NEVER asking me questions about anything (my life, my interests, my past, etc). IF I do bring up something related to me and NOT related to her, she immediately says: "oh yeah?" and then redirects the conversation immediately back to her.
Example:
Me: Hey, so I had to do overtime today at work. I'm exhausted.
Her: Oh yeah? I had to do overtime last week. I hate doing overtime. Last year I did overtime for 1 week straight, etc......
Me: SO, did you know that I do martial arts?
Her: Oh yeah? I did martial arts when I was younger. I did it for 2 months. I hated it, etc..
Me: Hey, I had a great day today. I ran into an old friend of mine and...
Her: Oh yeah? Yeah, I had a good day too. I did this and I did that...
SO, at 1st I was thinking hmmmm, this is a bit strange. I mean you begin to become aware that these are not real conversations. I've stopped her more than once now and made her aware of this and she plays the victim and either doesn't understand or doesn't acknowledge what I'm telling her.
It's gotten to the point that I dread f u c k i n g talking to her. She is good looking and really sweet in other ways, but DAMN, she's totally self-centered and selfish as anything.
I saw her on Saturday. I had plans to see my family on Sunday and she tells me that I chose to see my family over her? I said excuse me? She says well, you could have seen me instead of your family. I said HEY, my sister's going through a rough time and it was important for me to be there for her today. She replies back well, so I guess what's important to me, to spend time with my bf, isn't important to you? After that I ignored her and have all day.
Is this girl nuts? How to handle self-centered/selfish women, who CAN be really nice and sweet in other ways?
sounds like my absolute cu nt of a gf.
Id get out.
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LOL...looks like 240 has been reading Gary Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages"
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ylGqNESML._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg)
http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388423910&sr=8-1&keywords=gary+chapman+5+love+languages
Good for you, 240. Good for you, and good for your wife! ;D
A gift from a very thoughtful getbigger ;D
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Just give her some "props" every now and then and she'll calm down.
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1. Just how good looking is she?
2. How's the sex?
All your next moves depend on those answers.
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Use her for sex for as long as you can with minimal time investment and date other women in the meanwhile.
^^
BEST advice of the thread, period... ;)
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I don't see the problem here. All women are this way. Period. They all need CONSTANT validation and attention. CONTINUOUS, RELENTLESS, SOUL-DRAINING ATTENTION.
I crashed my car a while ago and got a massive cut on my head with a concussion to boot and my gf was furious at me for not calling to tell her I was going to be late! Sorry, I was in hospital trying to stay conscious while i was getting stitches in my head, honey I will try to be more considerate to YOUR FUCKING NEEDS. She is smoking hot btw. Smokinggggg hott. (read: the only reason i put up with her bullshit selfishness).
I am old enough now to accept that this is how all women are and it will never change. Either get castrated or deal with it, if she is that hot its totally worth it.
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Well, it doesn't matter anymore. This is what she texted me last night (I just checked her texts now):
"Well, I guess we won't be talking. Not really sure if I'm up for this relationship. I think I'm tired of trying to fix this when I shouldn't be trying to fix something that's just me. If you can't accept that I can't connect and don't communicate then that's your choice."
She left it at that.
I could probably call her in a couple of days and she would probably change her mind, but her text basically says, hey, I don't want to put in any effort. Either you accept that or not, OR, she's just being insecure and trying to tell herself that she's not so bad and it's my loss if I can't see the good in her. I feel bad and am worried that I might be ruining my chance with her, but if I take her off the hook this quickly, then I give in too quickly. Have to sit this one out. Probably not right to ignore her last text, but I didn't see anything in it that says she WANTS this to work. She sees I'm not happy with her lack of effort, so it looks like she's willing to walk, knowing that I would eventually anyways.
A lot of people on here are saying that she's just insecure and I could work with that and make her crazy for me. Other's are saying dump her azz. Looks like she sort of did the latter with me last night. Probably her trying to get me to chase her. Not doing that right away.
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pics?
she better not be a shorty with 0 tits bro...
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I don't see the problem here. All women are this way. Period. They all need CONSTANT validation and attention. CONTINUOUS, RELENTLESS, SOUL-DRAINING ATTENTION.
I crashed my car a while ago and got a massive cut on my head with a concussion to boot and my gf was furious at me for not calling to tell her I was going to be late! Sorry, I was in hospital trying to stay conscious while i was getting stitches in my head, honey I will try to be more considerate to YOUR FUCKING NEEDS. She is smoking hot btw. Smokinggggg hott. (read: the only reason i put up with her bullshit selfishness).
I am old enough now to accept that this is how all women are and it will never change. Either get castrated or deal with it, if she is that hot its totally worth it.
SO, based on what she wrote me last night: "Well, I guess we won't be talking. Not really sure if I'm up for this relationship. I think I'm tired of trying to fix this when I shouldn't be trying to fix something that's just me. If you can't accept that I can't connect and don't communicate then that's your choice."
How would you handle it?
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SO, based on what she wrote me last night: "Well, I guess we won't be talking. Not really sure if I'm up for this relationship. I think I'm tired of trying to fix this when I shouldn't be trying to fix something that's just me. If you can't accept that I can't connect and don't communicate then that's your choice."
How would you handle it?
I find it odd that she wrote this and that she didn't say this in person...Ahh, 21st century romances lack the personal touch, don't they.
She admits it right there that she cannot connect or communicate (could this be a downfall of her other relationships. This is learned behavior)...
It's beyond you, it is her, and she already recognizes the issue, but she doesn't see it as a problem.
Roll out...
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1) Totally out of line for her to come at you for choosing your sister.
2) Girls like this can be a nice change of pace. Sit back and relax, don't take it too seriously. Enjoy the ride. You don't have to be "in charge". You don't have to run things. Just enjoy dinner and let her talk. And keep your eyes open for the next one.
So 240, what would you write back to this text she sent me last night:
"Well, I guess we won't be talking. Not really sure if I'm up for this relationship. I think I'm tired of trying to fix this when I shouldn't be trying to fix something that's just me. If you can't accept that I can't connect and don't communicate then that's your choice."
How would you handle that? Would you wait a couple of days to reply and let it simmer for a bit?
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SO, based on what she wrote me last night: "Well, I guess we won't be talking. Not really sure if I'm up for this relationship. I think I'm tired of trying to fix this when I shouldn't be trying to fix something that's just me. If you can't accept that I can't connect and don't communicate then that's your choice."
How would you handle it?
I would handle it by not being a pussy-whipped phaggot, and read her message for what it is: She is literally admitting that she is defective and does not want to do anything about it. You are not worth the effort to her, by her own admission.
So get back together for one fuck session, take pics, post them everywhere, then dump her.
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I would handle it by not being a pussy-whipped phaggot, and read her message for what it is: She is literally admitting that she is defective and does not want to do anything about it. You are not worth the effort to her, by her own admission.
So get back together for one fuck session, take pics, post them everywhere, then dump her.
If I had made her feel good about herself and had been very critical, she would be more drawn to me and would feel I was worth more the effort. It's an investment. She already felt low and that's where that text came from. If I was the guy who smiled and didn't complain about her selfishness until the last day and consequently then came as a shock to her, she would be willing to fight to keep me around. I weened her off me by constantly being critical of her selfishness, while not balancing it with enough emotional fulfillment. I could turn that around, but how to while still keeping my balllls in check?
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SO, based on what she wrote me last night: "Well, I guess we won't be talking. Not really sure if I'm up for this relationship. I think I'm tired of trying to fix this when I shouldn't be trying to fix something that's just me. If you can't accept that I can't connect and don't communicate then that's your choice."
How would you handle it?
Baiting you. She is trying to see how far she can push you and how you will respond. If you give in and apologize for hurting her feelings or whatever, she will have your balls on her mantle. She wants you to apologize to her even though you did nothing wrong because that way SHE BECOMES THE VICTIM. You are now the bad boyfriend and she is so hurt by how insensitive you are. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS TRICK!!
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I find it odd that she wrote this and that she didn't say this in person...Ahh, 21st century romances lack the personal touch, don't they.
She admits it right there that she cannot connect or communicate (could this be a downfall of her other relationships. This is learned behavior)...
It's beyond you, it is her, and she already recognizes the issue, but she doesn't see it as a problem.
Roll out...
No, she wanted to talk and asked me if we could talk. I didn't answer her and 2-3 hours later (her impatience got to her), she sent me the text I pasted.
She only doesn't see it as a problem imo because I was more critical of her behavior than I provided emotional fulfillment (to make her feel I was worth the effort).
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Baiting you. She is trying to see how far she can push you and how you will respond. If you give in and apologize for hurting her feelings or whatever, she will have your balls on her mantle. She wants you to apologize to her even though you did nothing wrong because that way SHE BECOMES THE VICTIM. You are now the bad boyfriend and she is so hurt by how insensitive you are. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS TRICK!!
So, how would you handle it to turn it around? Again, I sensed more a level of indifference in her text from 24 hours ago. BTW, she never went longer than 2-3 hours without texting me, so she must be pretty steadfast in her conviction by having gone 24 hours now.
Would you let her sit on it for a couple more days and then do something small? If so, what (without handing my balls over to her on a silver platter)?
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(http://www.getbig.com/news/2006-04/061012titus01.jpg)
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(http://www.getbig.com/news/2006-04/061012titus01.jpg)
The irony is she has it right now :P
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So, how would you handle it to turn it around? Again, I sensed more a level of indifference in her text from 24 hours ago. BTW, she never went longer than 2-3 hours without texting me, so she must be pretty steadfast in her conviction by having gone 24 hours now.
Would you let her sit on it for a couple more days and then do something small? If so, what (without handing my balls over to her on a silver platter)?
Depends. If she is really hot and you enjoy being with her more than you are annoyed, then call her up and tell her what you really feel. Girls are annoying. Period. But they are also lots of fun and the whole sex thing, remember? Being alone and whacking your pud is not as fun as going out with a hot whore and banging her constantly. You gotta weigh the two options on your own. I don't know what you feel about her. You will never find a girl that does not annoy you and bitch. That is what they do. They will mindfuck you, but I think its all worth it overall. Some guys don't. Decide for yourself mang.
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Use her for sex for as long as you can with minimal time investment and date other women in the meanwhile.
This X 10! This chick probably has a ton of baggage and will make you miserable!
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Wow! She admits to not connecting or communicating? Lol at least she admits it, but you should know that lack of communication in a relationship is bad. You shouldn't accept it.
At least you found out sooner than later. Enjoy your New Year with a fresh start.
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I know how women think.
She's trying now to get you to chase.
You can easily take control and she'll be begging for your forgiveness...but ONLY if she really wants you. That's a chance you'll have to take.
You should get your side of the story in with her as well. If she cares, she will listen, realize she was out of line, apologize and want to continue with you. However, she might not find anything wrong with what she did, not apologize and use the same "accept me or don't" line. That's when you should walk. Because again, lack of communication is not good in any relationship and you shouldn't be accepting of that. Think about it. I wanna know what happens.
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Depends. If she is really hot and you enjoy being with her more than you are annoyed, then call her up and tell her what you really feel. Girls are annoying. Period. But they are also lots of fun and the whole sex thing, remember? Being alone and whacking your pud is not as fun as going out with a hot whore and banging her constantly. You gotta weigh the two options on your own. I don't know what you feel about her. You will never find a girl that does not annoy you and bitch. That is what they do. They will mindfuck you, but I think its all worth it overall. Some guys don't. Decide for yourself mang.
I already told her how I feel, hence her text from last night. I just think she's feeling rejected and she's already insecure, and so she's playing the victim and looking for me to chase after her, to boost her bruised ego. She already knows how I feel about her selfish actions.
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Well, it doesn't matter anymore. This is what she texted me last night (I just checked her texts now):
"Well, I guess we won't be talking. Not really sure if I'm up for this relationship. I think I'm tired of trying to fix this when I shouldn't be trying to fix something that's just me. If you can't accept that I can't connect and don't communicate then that's your choice."
She left it at that.
I could probably call her in a couple of days and she would probably change her mind, but her text basically says, hey, I don't want to put in any effort. Either you accept that or not, OR, she's just being insecure and trying to tell herself that she's not so bad and it's my loss if I can't see the good in her. I feel bad and am worried that I might be ruining my chance with her, but if I take her off the hook this quickly, then I give in too quickly. Have to sit this one out. Probably not right to ignore her last text, but I didn't see anything in it that says she WANTS this to work. She sees I'm not happy with her lack of effort, so it looks like she's willing to walk, knowing that I would eventually anyways.
A lot of people on here are saying that she's just insecure and I could work with that and make her crazy for me. Other's are saying dump her azz. Looks like she sort of did the latter with me last night. Probably her trying to get me to chase her. Not doing that right away.
Lol dude what she's basically saying is ''my personality is like this, you can't change me''.
You're just dating a superficial girl. A girl like that just needs a guy who just japs about himself the wholeday as well. They both will never notice they're talking to themselves basically and there won't be any problem.
So just as many have said before use her for sex and play the game. If she really makes you puke because she disrespects your family fuck it dump her ass.
The fact is you hate her personality but yet you are VERY keen on keeping her. You're attached and thats mainly because of looks. You just want to have a pretty girl and mold her into the personality form of your ideal woman. It doesn't work like that.
Since you're allready melting it displays you can't handle ''playing the game''. Best move is to get very intoxicated with her (choose substance that fits you best) and fuck her brains out one last time.
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Well, it doesn't matter anymore. This is what she texted me last night (I just checked her texts now):
"Well, I guess we won't be talking. Not really sure if I'm up for this relationship. I think I'm tired of trying to fix this when I shouldn't be trying to fix something that's just me. If you can't accept that I can't connect and don't communicate then that's your choice."
She left it at that.
I could probably call her in a couple of days and she would probably change her mind, but her text basically says, hey, I don't want to put in any effort. Either you accept that or not, OR, she's just being insecure and trying to tell herself that she's not so bad and it's my loss if I can't see the good in her. I feel bad and am worried that I might be ruining my chance with her, but if I take her off the hook this quickly, then I give in too quickly. Have to sit this one out. Probably not right to ignore her last text, but I didn't see anything in it that says she WANTS this to work. She sees I'm not happy with her lack of effort, so it looks like she's willing to walk, knowing that I would eventually anyways.
A lot of people on here are saying that she's just insecure and I could work with that and make her crazy for me. Other's are saying dump her azz. Looks like she sort of did the latter with me last night. Probably her trying to get me to chase her. Not doing that right away.
The part bolded in red says it all. People that use the excuse, "That is who I am, I will not change for anyone" are immature and stupid.
Life is about accepting feedback and growing. We all could use some good feedback in order to become better people. Who would want to accept being selfish and self-centered. IF anything, she should be taking your feedback seriously and trying to change. It sounds like something a 15 year old would say, "I am not changing for anyone." ::) ::)
Granted, I do not mean we have to change completely who we are just to make people happy. But the fact of the matter is that life is about growth and change. Its about accepting feedback with humility, incorporating the feedback we receive, and becoming better.
She is dumb. Dump her.
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I know how women think.
She's trying now to get you to chase.
You can easily take control and she'll be begging for your forgiveness...but ONLY if she really wants you. That's a chance you'll have to take.
You should get your side of the story in with her as well. If she cares, she will listen, realize she was out of line, apologize and want to continue with you. However, she might not find anything wrong with what she did, not apologize and use the same "accept me or don't" line. That's when you should walk. Because again, lack of communication is not good in any relationship and you shouldn't be accepting of that. Think about it. I wanna know what happens.
Unfortunately you're thinking like a logical, rational and mature adult (a male). This woman and MOST women are immature and irrational when it comes to this. This one especially. The only reason she is admitting to her flaws and not apologizing for them, is because I've more than brought them to her attention, which has turned her feelings colder (based on last night's take it or leave it text and NO follow up since).
The only way for her to want to put in that effort (she may not), is to give her the reassurance that I care about her (which she did not do for me last night) and then when she feels placated I will gain some browny points and she might then want to make the effort.
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Best thing to do is tell her your concerns. Be honest about it and see what she says. You gotta start with a positive comment to keep her off the defense.
If she doesn't respond to what you are saying then you have to make buttsex with her best friend(female). Then text your girl the photos and be like "Yeah bitch, who's selfish now? Fuck you hoe".
Hope this helps.
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The part bolded in red says it all. People that use the excuse, "That is who I am, I will not change for anyone" are immature and stupid.
Life is about accepting feedback and growing. We all could use some good feedback in order to become better people. Who would want to accept being selfish and self-centered. IF anything, she should be taking your feedback seriously and trying to change. It sounds like something a 15 year old would say, "I am not changing for anyone." ::) ::)
Granted, I do not mean we have to change completely who we are just to make people happy. But the fact of the matter is that life is about growth and change. Its about accepting feedback with humility, incorporating the feedback we receive, and becoming better.
She is dumb. Dump her.
I of course was thinking the same thing. She hasn't chased me at all after last night's take it or leave it text, so that says either a lot about her commitment level, or it says she doesn't want to feel like she's walking on eggshells with everything she says. I think if you hammer someone too much, too often about their flaws, you get her reaction. There's a time and a place and a way to bring things up.
She most definitely is extremely immature (hence the excessive self-absorbed behavior).
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Nah, it's cool bro. I appreciate the honesty. It's messed up, but she has this other AMAZING side to her, where she's extremely warm, sweet, complimenting and affectionate (which you don't find that much in chicks anymore), YET, there's that selfish/me me me side of her, like a fucking Jekyll and Hyde.
For now...your just her flavor of the month.
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Lol dude what she's basically saying is ''my personality is like this, you can't change me''.
You're just dating a superficial girl. A girl like that just needs a guy who just japs about himself the wholeday as well. They both will never notice they're talking to themselves basically and there won't be any problem.
So just as many have said before use her for sex and play the game. If she really makes you puke because she disrespects your family fuck it dump her ass.
The fact is you hate her personality but yet you are VERY keen on keeping her. You're attached and thats mainly because of looks. You just want to have a pretty girl and mold her into the personality form of your ideal woman. It doesn't work like that.
Since you're allready melting it displays you can't handle ''playing the game''. Best move is to get very intoxicated with her (choose substance that fits you best) and fuck her brains out one last time.
HA. I like your reply. It nails it on the head in all areas.
So, to clear up something, I'm not just keen on keeping her around (until something better comes along) because of her looks. She also give a lot of attention, says sweet things and is warm and affectionate (when she's not only talking about herself), which is nice. Unfortunately, with one comes the other. They are not mutually exclusive.
The part where you said she doesn't notice how she just talks to herself is now in the open. I made her aware. It takes a mature and selfless person to want to change that ugly characteristic that clearly pushes people away. Why she doesn't want to do it, is because I've been giving her more bad than good lately and it's all about pros and cons and what we see as benefits. I've lowered my value by letting her know how much her behavior affects me, when I could have said nothing and just distanced myself from her (which she may not have even noticed) and then when I'm approached, I could have said something.
Slow and easy wasn't my approach with dealing with her issues. She's now rebelling against it.
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For now...your just her flavor of the month.
Well, not since last night. Although I did answer her: "when can we talk text". It's out of character for me to ignore someone. I think I will address her, just not right now. Maybe in a couple of days.
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Well, not since last night. Although I did answer her: "when can we talk text". It's out of character for me to ignore someone. I think I will address her, just not right now. Maybe in a couple of days.
Only you know the full story bro. youve only known her for a couple for weeks? for your sake, I hope you haven't fucked her yet and are just trying to hit it and quit it.
once you sleep with her she no longer has that golden box...Not normal for a guy to go out of his way or care about a pleasing a chick this much when he has fucked her already
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Unfortunately you're thinking like a logical, rational and mature adult (a male). This woman and MOST women are immature and irrational when it comes to this. This one especially. The only reason she is admitting to her flaws and not apologizing for them, is because I've more than brought them to her attention, which has turned her feelings colder (based on last night's take it or leave it text and NO follow up since).
The only way for her to want to put in that effort (she may not), is to give her the reassurance that I care about her (which she did not do for me last night) and then when she feels placated I will gain some browny points and she might then want to make the effort.
Act like a lady...think like a man loll just kidding
I'm ALL female...as well as a realist. These are the actions of women that give us a bad name. I try my hardest to not be that way. Other women can continue being raging bitches...that'll only make me shine brighter ;)
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HA. I like your reply. It nails it on the head in all areas.
So, to clear up something, I'm not just keen on keeping her around (until something better comes along) because of her looks. She also give a lot of attention, says sweet things and is warm and affectionate (when she's not only talking about herself), which is nice. Unfortunately, with one comes the other. They are not mutually exclusive.
The part where you said she doesn't notice how she just talks to herself is now in the open. I made her aware. It takes a mature and selfless person to want to change that ugly characteristic that clearly pushes people away. Why she doesn't want to do it, is because I've been giving her more bad than good lately and it's all about pros and cons and what we see as benefits. I've lowered my value by letting her know how much her behavior affects me, when I could have said nothing and just distanced myself from her (which she may not have even noticed) and then when I'm approached, I could have said something.
Slow and easy wasn't my approach with dealing with her issues. She's now rebelling against it.
Does this seem honoust? Or do you think it's a social trick which she picked up through trial and error but still doesn't understand the true meaning? If its the latter you will never feel ''complete'' with this chick.
I'm gonna give you an example; my dog only eats raw meat because he has a digestive problem. The fucker loves the shit so much that he gets so goddamn enthousiastic that he jumps against me a million times during the time that i prepare it and put it down for him.
Bye telling him no, stopping the prepping and making him sit and wait untill he calms the fuck down i change his behavioral pattern.
However the dog will NEVER understand why he has to sit. He does not reflect on his behavior. All he knows is that he needs to sit and be calm in order to get what he wants. Its effective but looks comical and is completely faked calmness (you can still see that in his head he screams FOODFOOODDFOOOD!!!!!!!).
Now the question is are you trying to condition your girlfriend?
I hope not because Women lack one thing dog's don't and thats loyalty my friend. A dog is worth the effort.
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Does this seem honoust? Or do you think it's a social trick which she picked up through trial and error but still doesn't understand the true meaning? If its the latter you will never feel ''complete'' with this chick.
I'm gonna give you an example; my dog only eats raw meat because he has a digestive problem. The fucker loves the shit so much that he gets so goddamn enthousiastic that he jumps against me a million times during the time that i prepare it and put it down for him.
Bye telling him no, stopping the prepping and making him sit and wait untill he calms the fuck down i change his behavioral pattern.
However the dog will NEVER understand why he has to sit. He does not reflect on his behavior. All he knows is that he needs to sit and be calm in order to get what he wants. Its effective but looks comical and is completely faked calmness (you can still see that in his head he screams FOODFOOODDFOOOD!!!!!!!).
Now the question is are you trying to condition your girlfriend?
I hope not because Women lack one thing dog's don't and thats loyalty my friend. A dog is worth the effort.
Ha ha great post!
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Does this seem honoust? Or do you think it's a social trick which she picked up through trial and error but still doesn't understand the true meaning? If its the latter you will never feel ''complete'' with this chick.
I'm gonna give you an example; my dog only eats raw meat because he has a digestive problem. The fucker loves the shit so much that he gets so goddamn enthousiastic that he jumps against me a million times during the time that i prepare it and put it down for him.
Bye telling him no, stopping the prepping and making him sit and wait untill he calms the fuck down i change his behavioral pattern.
However the dog will NEVER understand why he has to sit. He does not reflect on his behavior. All he knows is that he needs to sit and be calm in order to get what he wants. Its effective but looks comical and is completely faked calmness (you can still see that in his head he screams FOODFOOODDFOOOD!!!!!!!).
Now the question is are you trying to condition your girlfriend?
I hope not because Women lack one thing dog's don't and thats loyalty my friend. A dog is worth the effort.
Were her sweet texts, compliments and overall affectionate behavior honest and sincere? I'd say yes, however, she clearly has/had no reference point to put that into action on a more real scale. It remained extremely superficial and surface level. An "I love you", is meaningless if you don't let the other person know what it is you love about them. Saying "I miss you", is meaningless unless you are able to personalize it and say what it is you miss about the person (other than just their kisses and hugs).
Just felt like she's a kid trying to play house, with no idea how to do it. Out of her depth and yes, being older than her (I'm in my mid-30's and she's in her mid-20's), I could teach her, but the self-absorbed nature of how she ACTS (when not being that sweet girl) makes/made it damn near impossible, because children/teenagers don't want to be told what they should do. They think they have all the answers, when in reality, they have practically none of them. That's sort of where I was at with her. I'd put forth my feelings (what it is I wanted and what it is she was doing) and a logical and rational argument and I could explain it in 10 different ways and she would say, so, "what are you trying to say? All I hear from you is that I did something wrong again? I guess I can't do anything right with you? I'm always at fault, are I?"
That's what I had to deal with and now it's been over 24 hours since her last text and I guess she didn't really care as much as she claimed she did. Actions speak so much louder than her "sweet texts" could.
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my goodness what a bunch of amateurs here
*head hurts*
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my goodness what a bunch of amateurs here
*head hurts*
No, not amateurs. Just logical people given sound advice. You do not have any more indepth knowledge about women than anyone else. You only have advice and information based on YOUR experience. There is no ONE way to approach this situation.
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my goodness what a bunch of amateurs here
*head hurts*
So what's your "professional" opinion?
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I'm annoyed just from reading this lol sorry :-\
Ditto.
I would have walked already. It only gets worse as they age, never better. You would logically expect more maturity with age, but it's already all about her, and it will continue to be, and as the stories about her become less and less interesting, and the competition becomes more prevalent...
Well, I'm sure you get the picture.
Been there, did that.
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Baiting you. She is trying to see how far she can push you and how you will respond. If you give in and apologize for hurting her feelings or whatever, she will have your balls on her mantle. She wants you to apologize to her even though you did nothing wrong because that way SHE BECOMES THE VICTIM. You are now the bad boyfriend and she is so hurt by how insensitive you are. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS TRICK!!
Whether she was baiting me to chase her. 2 days have past and I didn't and I haven't heard from her since. This was a woman who sent me a dozen texts a day. Have to question if it was sincere if she could just turn off that switch that easily? I'm pretty sure if I contacted her in a few days she would want to be with me again. Just find it a bit odd considering that with every other woman I went completely radio silent with, they ALWAYS broke and ended up contacting me. Goes to show she probably was not all that invested.
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Whether she was baiting me to chase her. 2 days have past and I didn't and I haven't heard from her since. This was a woman who sent me a dozen texts a day. Have to question if it was sincere if she could just turn off that switch that easily? I'm pretty sure if I contacted her in a few days she would want to be with me again. Just find it a bit odd considering that with every other woman I went completely radio silent with, they ALWAYS broke and ended up contacting me. Goes to show she probably was not all that invested.
She's most likely upset with you and that is why she isn't texting.
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Whether she was baiting me to chase her. 2 days have past and I didn't and I haven't heard from her since. This was a woman who sent me a dozen texts a day. Have to question if it was sincere if she could just turn off that switch that easily? I'm pretty sure if I contacted her in a few days she would want to be with me again. Just find it a bit odd considering that with every other woman I went completely radio silent with, they ALWAYS broke and ended up contacting me. Goes to show she probably was not all that invested.
Sounds like you really are into her man. You need to go with your heart and stop listening to us knuckleheads. She is testing you and like booty said probably pissed off.
Seriously, i joke about women, but if i had quit on my gf and our relationship the first time she did something selfish, we would have been done a long time ago! Girls need to know they are important to you and that you will fight for them. If you think you want to be with her long term, call her up or go over to her house and tell her how you really feel. This is real advice i am giving you not a bullshit misogynistic joke post like my others.
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Sounds like you really are into her man. You need to go with your heart and stop listening to us knuckleheads. She is testing you and like booty said probably pissed off.
Seriously, i joke about women, but if i had quit on my gf and our relationship the first time she did something selfish, we would have been done a long time ago! Girls need to know they are important to you and that you will fight for them. If you think you want to be with her long term, call her up or go over to her house and tell her how you really feel. This is real advice i am giving you not a bullshit misogynistic joke post like my others.
Good post!
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Most of us feed off that initial spark or high in the beginning of a relationship..... go from partner to partner in search of that high again. It usually lasts a month or so, and then the guy or the girl loses interest. And it's onto the next...and the next. I'm telling you this chick is bad news...she's betafying you. break it off asap
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A wise man once said.....
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Lick on deez nutz and suck the dick
Get's the fuck out after you're done
And I hops in my ride to make a quick run
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Most of us feed off that initial spark or high in the beginning of a relationship..... go from partner to partner in search of that high again. It usually lasts a month or so, and then the guy or the girl loses interest. And it's onto the next...and the next. I'm telling you this chick is bad news...she's betafying you. break it off asap
It's called the "honeymoon phase" and it can last up to 18 months. You come down from your high adventurely and move onto the next phase in the relationship...which is something deeper!
This girl sounds insecure...she's looking for constant reaffirmation that he's into her. She needs to have some faith and go with the flow and if things are meant to be they will. Also you can't rush a relationship...you have to let things develope at their own pace and flow.
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there should be a new rule. If your going to start a thread asking for advice on a chick you post her fucking picture up. someone knowing her in real life and linking her to this thread is a risk you have to take.
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It's called the "honeymoon phase" and it can last up to 18 months. You come down from your high adventurely and move onto the next phase in the relationship...which is something deeper!
This girl sounds insecure...she's looking for constant reaffirmation that he's into her. She needs to have some faith and go with the flow and if things are meant to be they will. Also you can't rush a relationship...you have to let things develope at their own pace and flow.
I might have to go with this but cash flow may come into play.
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I might have to go with this but cash flow may come into play.
Money plays no role when it comes to feeling a connection with someone and real feelings/love.
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Money plays no role when it comes to feeling a connection with someone and real feelings/love.
I want to believe that.
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I want to believe that.
Money gives people freedom. It's got nothing to do with connection/love.
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I want to believe that.
Don't judge a book by its cover. When you meet a new woman, finding out her priorities is one of the first things you should do.
Oh, and happy new year brother :)
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Don't judge a book by its cover. When you meet a new woman, finding out her priorities is one of the first things you should do.
Oh, and happy new year brother :)
Same to you man. 8)
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So what's your "professional" opinion?
i will start a new thread today on that topic.that should explain.
its no rofesional, it must be secondnature
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i will start a new thread today on that topic.that should explain.
its no rofesional, it must be secondnature
Looking forward to your brofessional opinion, then.
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My man SF1900 dropping some serious good advice throughout this thread.
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A wise man once said.....
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Lick on deez nutz and suck the dick
Get's the fuck out after you're done
And I hops in my ride to make a quick run
Mahatma Gandhi said this in 1925.
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Mahatma Gandhi said this in 1925.
That Hebrew would have put the smackdown on 'Sista' Theresa.
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Lol dude what she's basically saying is ''my personality is like this, you can't change me''.
You're just dating a superficial girl. A girl like that just needs a guy who just japs about himself the wholeday as well. They both will never notice they're talking to themselves basically and there won't be any problem.
So just as many have said before use her for sex and play the game. If she really makes you puke because she disrespects your family fuck it dump her ass.
The fact is you hate her personality but yet you are VERY keen on keeping her. You're attached and thats mainly because of looks. You just want to have a pretty girl and mold her into the personality form of your ideal woman. It doesn't work like that.
Since you're allready melting it displays you can't handle ''playing the game''. Best move is to get very intoxicated with her (choose substance that fits you best) and fuck her brains out one last time.
This X1000
I just went through this same thing with an national level figure comp. Girl was out of her mind self centered, narcissistic and borderline delusional. ALWAYS the victim and could do no wrong. Baggage from old relationships and she'd constantly talk about it, and when I told her I didn't appreciate that, she claimed that if I didn't like her "openness" it was my problem.
If I wasn't feeding her compliments and chasing her 24/7 she'd go out of her way to make me jealous whichever way she could, was constant stress and drama, everyday would be something new. Thing is I kept trying to fix it, when it didn't work she'd feel my frustrations and it made her uncomfortable which ultimately led to the end.
Best advice from a guy who just went through the exact same thing, move on. Especially don't get emotionally attached to her, be the worst thing you could do with a broad like this. This bitch will be making you feel like the bad guy and have you questioning your moral constitution.
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This X1000
I just went through this same thing with an national level figure comp. Girl was out of her mind self centered, narcissistic and borderline delusional. ALWAYS the victim and could do no wrong. Baggage from old relationships and she'd constantly talk about it, and when I told her I didn't appreciate that, she claimed that if I didn't like her "openness" it was my problem.
If I wasn't feeding her compliments and chasing her 24/7 she'd go out of her way to make me jealous whichever way she could, was constant stress and drama, everyday would be something new. Thing is I kept trying to fix it, when it didn't work she'd feel my frustrations and it made her uncomfortable which ultimately led to the end.
Best advice from a guy who just went through the exact same thing, move on. Especially don't get emotionally attached to her, be the worst thing you could do with a broad like this. This bitch will be making you feel like the bad guy and have you questioning your moral constitution.
Good that you got out in time and see it in perspective now man! I think every guy atleast has one of these chicks under his belt.
When the chick is good looking we should always remind ourselves that the twisted shit won't go away. Without killing your own soul (like some guys do) it's impossible to survive this mentally for a long time.