Anxiety Question...

[King Shizzo]

This morning I woke up and got out of bed at 7:30 a.m. So I am making progress. Perhaps the Welbutrin is starting to kick in and relieve some of my depression, hope so. 

I agree with your suggestion about volunteer work. Unfortunately, most of my day, seven days a week, is spent taking care of my wife. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday she's in dialysis for 5 hours. Not a week goes by that she doesn't have a doctor's appointment. There is very little she can do for herself. I do almost all the shopping, meal preparations and household chores as well as play nurse. The few things I'm involved in require my time out of the house only a couple of days a month. The rest of the volunteer work I can do from home using email and the phone. When I attend a monthly board meeting as chair, our daughter steps in and becomes that day's caregiver for her mother. In a good month, I might have 3 days off.

I am not complaining. If things were reversed, my wife would do the same for me. Fortunately, my health is excellent. It would really be difficult if we both suffered ill health.

You are a good man.

[Las Vegas]

I would argue it is, I know that the stove is off, I know that the house is fine (in fact I would berate myself). There appears to be something wrong in the limbic system, fearful thoughts normally saved for survival etc lack inhibition and just flood through.

Thank you, Necrosis.

[dyslexic]

Glad this topic is still going.


Sometimes it is just as soothing to talk about the issues you are experiencing.


Finding that there are others who are suffering, realizing that you are not alone.


We, as men, tend to want to shove our feelings of fear away as if it makes us less masculine.


I can tell you from experience that even if your anxiety or depression is crippling you... you can still fight, and when I say "fight" I mean fight.



When the fight is over, you come to a realization. You feel better.


Why?


Because you realize that you aren't as crippled as you thought.


You want to know another trick? It's rare, but it works. Go to a convalescent home and just sit and listen for a moment.


You won't believe what you hear.


Then go find someone who has aged.. I mean 'really' aged... like 90 years old. Make sure it is someone who's body has aged, but their mental faculties are still there.

Engage them in a conversation. Trust me, they are literally DYING to talk to someone, visit with someone, share life experiences with SOMEONE. Their fucking families (sorry) act as if it is a chore to go and see them.


Picture them, 30, 40 years back. Realize that they were probably vibrant, strong, caring for a family, carrying the weight of the world...


They will have life experiences that you have not yet had.

They will have answers to questions that nobody else has.


You will leave with a new friend. You will leave appreciating your youth and vitality.


They will know how to calm your nerves.


Not enough people visit the elderly in this country. In other countries, they are worshipped and taken care of... in their own homes. The families and children gather together at night to listen to the wisdom of the elders.

Sometimes we are so ignorant in this country.


When you want to learn something new, you have to go to the ones who know. Learning the hard way takes too long. Learning the hard way can be dangerous.

Learning from those with experience in whatever it is you want to know is traveling "as the Crow flies.."


Try it. I guarantee it will be a learning experience you will not soon forget.

[Howard]

What type of anxiety or issue is this? Been plaguing me for a while now but never sought help, but as I get older its becoming more of a burden.

These are some examples of thought processes during the day and sometimes they get compounded and really start bothering me and i get all worried/anxious:

-i dont want to spit while that car is there and that guy is looking at me..he will think im spitting to piss him off or be confrontational
-i hope that guy sees me taking weights off the bar when im done so he thinks im a good guy
-i made eye contact with that hot chick at the gym earlier, but now i want to use the machine right next to her. She is going to think i want to fuck her and now its akward, so i wont go over by her. I dont want her to think she is hot shit
-Did that guy acknowledge i held the door for him? He didnt even thank me. What a dick

These are just some examples from today that clogged up my mind.
Its like this social anxiety thing. Its like im overly conscientious, or afraid of confrontations so im always trying to be super respectful of everyone around me. I wish i could just be in my own world and not worty about outside shit like this.

You seem like the type who holds in a fart until he goes to the bathroom?

[ritch]

Glad this topic is still going.


Sometimes it is just as soothing to talk about the issues you are experiencing.


Finding that there are others who are suffering, realizing that you are not alone.


We, as men, tend to want to shove our feelings of fear away as if it makes us less masculine.


I can tell you from experience that even if your anxiety or depression is crippling you... you can still fight, and when I say "fight" I mean fight.



When the fight is over, you come to a realization. You feel better.


Why?


Because you realize that you aren't as crippled as you thought.


You want to know another trick? It's rare, but it works. Go to a convalescent home and just sit and listen for a moment.


You won't believe what you hear.


Then go find someone who has aged.. I mean 'really' aged... like 90 years old. Make sure it is someone who's body has aged, but their mental faculties are still there.

Engage them in a conversation. Trust me, they are literally DYING to talk to someone, visit with someone, share life experiences with SOMEONE. Their fucking families (sorry) act as if it is a chore to go and see them.


Picture them, 30, 40 years back. Realize that they were probably vibrant, strong, caring for a family, carrying the weight of the world...


They will have life experiences that you have not yet had.

They will have answers to questions that nobody else has.


You will leave with a new friend. You will leave appreciating your youth and vitality.


They will know how to calm your nerves.


Not enough people visit the elderly in this country. In other countries, they are worshipped and taken care of... in their own homes. The families and children gather together at night to listen to the wisdom of the elders.

Sometimes we are so ignorant in this country.


When you want to learn something new, you have to go to the ones who know. Learning the hard way takes too long. Learning the hard way can be dangerous.

Learning from those with experience in whatever it is you want to know is traveling "as the Crow flies.."


Try it. I guarantee it will be a learning experience you will not soon forget.

I think it's like the 3rd or 4th time I heart part in bold this week. I'm considering it. Just don't wanna commit to something I can't keep up either.

[calfzilla]

A flat affect is a sign of depression.

Yea I think this is a big part of it.

[dyslexic]

I think it's like the 3rd or 4th time I heart part in bold this week. I'm considering it. Just don't wanna commit to something I can't keep up either.

You don't have to commit...


Unfortunately, they understand.

[Las Vegas]

I really appreciate your wisdom in this thread, Dyslexic.  Very cool.

[_bruce_]

dyslexic you old dog! 
Wise words indeed - props.

[Necrosis]

Sometimes when one excessively worries about these things, it OCDC creeping in. I've drive back home a number of times because I imagine I left the garage door open....never once was that the case.

What you are describing is anxiety and uncertainty, perhaps in isolation, could be a host of things. Now if you went to check the garage everyday and couldn't get to where you wanted because of how much you are checking it then it's creeping into OCD. You can feel OCD, you can sense it in people when they are battling it, it's this tension and aloofness that is overwhelming.

It's a ANXIETY disorder, without constant chronic anxiety  (it's the worst of the bunch) it's not OCD. if you gain pleasure from rituals, like cleaning etc it's not OCD. I do not want to do these things, the problem is I couldn't stop, hence the disorder.

The way I would look at mental health issues is that it's a magnitude issue, everyone gets sad, everyone gets anxious, however, if you can't leave your bed for weeks , have suicidal ideation etc you are now clinically depressed. Same with OCD, can people be obsessive? of course, can people be compulsive, sure. The problem is that the brain has regulatory mechanisms to stop these things from spiraling out of control (like your pancreas deals with excess sugar, however, in diabetes (type one) the pancreas cannot regulate. Once these regulators are out of control and completely lack homeostatic mechanisms it's a disorder.

only 1% of the population have real OCD, it's like saying you have ADHD(or were being ADHD)  because you are having an energetic day, it's treating mental illness like a personality or behavioural issue, it's just not. OCD is present from birth, the nervous system is wired different, it has a familial component as well.

The key is being unable to stop the thoughts/actions despite logic, distraction etc. you want to do something but you can't, it's like trying to walk while paralyzed.

[Necrosis]

Not always. Sometimes people just aren't emotional.

Not having emotions is not normal. You are either masking them or are a sociopath. I am half assing with you. Trauma etc can do this, but being flat is not a normal state, no joy, no rage etc not normal.

You on meds? any serotonergics?

[Primemuscle]

What you are describing is anxiety and uncertainty, perhaps in isolation, could be a host of things. Now if you went to check the garage everyday and couldn't get to where you wanted because of how much you are checking it then it's creeping into OCD. You can feel OCD, you can sense it in people when they are battling it, it's this tension and aloofness that is overwhelming.

It's a ANXIETY disorder, without constant chronic anxiety  (it's the worst of the bunch) it's not OCD. if you gain pleasure from rituals, like cleaning etc it's not OCD. I do not want to do these things, the problem is I couldn't stop, hence the disorder.

The way I would look at mental health issues is that it's a magnitude issue, everyone gets sad, everyone gets anxious, however, if you can't leave your bed for weeks , have suicidal ideation etc you are now clinically depressed. Same with OCD, can people be obsessive? of course, can people be compulsive, sure. The problem is that the brain has regulatory mechanisms to stop these things from spiraling out of control (like your pancreas deals with excess sugar, however, in diabetes (type one) the pancreas cannot regulate. Once these regulators are out of control and completely lack homeostatic mechanisms it's a disorder.

only 1% of the population have real OCD, it's like saying you have ADHD(or were being ADHD)  because you are having an energetic day, it's treating mental illness like a personality or behavioural issue, it's just not. OCD is present from birth, the nervous system is wired different, it has a familial component as well.

The key is being unable to stop the thoughts/actions despite logic, distraction etc. you want to do something but you can't, it's like trying to walk while paralyzed.

I like your comments in this post. Sometimes we are almost too aware of how we are feeling and we over react. Like you said most everyone suffers these symptoms at sometime or another. There can be good reason to be depressed, angry or anxious etc. It is when it seriously starts interfering with your daily life that it is a problem. The trick is to know when it is time to get some help and when one should ride out these symptoms.

[Primemuscle]

Not having emotions is not normal. You are either masking them or are a sociopath. I am half assing with you. Trauma etc can do this, but being flat is not a normal state, no joy, no rage etc not normal.

You on meds? any serotonergics?

Sometimes watching a movie will make me cry. War movies, for instance, do this to me. Father son relationship movies can trigger it. There's probably something to the fact that extraneous stuff like this brings about an emotional response while real life situations don't. I suspect it is because in real life I want to remain strong.

It's convoluted, but I am not planing on going into therapy for this. I've considered the possibility that I might be a sociopath, but it is more likely that I am masking my emotions regarding real events. It's too long a story, but I learned to do this early on in life in order to survive unpleasant situations emotionally.   These days, there are a lot of things to get emotional about, but I have delegated myself as the one who keeps things together. When a person's health is in in the balance, someone has to maintain a level head.

[dyslexic]

Dude, you are normal....


The only difference is, you ain't afraid to talk about shit.


We ALL have our crosses to bear.


We all have those same issues at some point in life whether we admit it or not.


You could be driving along and all of a sudden have a dizzy spell. Never had one before in your life, or maybe you did and just didnt pay it much mind...


But now, you stand up and take notice. You wonder if something is wrong? Your heart starts pounding, you start sweating, you get scared... you realize that maybe you aren't as invincible as you thought... you become more anxious.... the 'fight or flight' syndrome kicks in and you are now on red alert.


Here's the rub: Are you going to trip on this incident from here on out? Waiting, just looking and intensely feeling anything that might resemble this "episode?"... or, are you gonna let it go and move on with your life?


If you choose to obsess, trust me when I say, your mind will be more than happy to accommodate you in this venture.


There are actually people in this world who feel like total dog shit every second of every day, but they never say a word and even if they know what is causing them to feel this way, they don't stop that either. Why? Maybe because their daddy's taught them that you live, you work, you die and nothing gets in your way, ever. Or maybe they just dont give a fuck.


For those who feel that maybe they are attached to their kids, wives, girlfriends, grandkids, life.. whatever... maybe they feel they have something to lose and suddenly they feel that life is "fragile" just like everyone say's... so they spend their life... or should I say "they stop living".... now fear controls them.

Meanwhile, that other dude who is actually going out of his way to fuck himself up is just motating along as if nothing is wrong without a care in the world.


I know this isn't addressing the issue directly, but it is something to think about.

[Primemuscle]

Dude, you are normal....


The only difference is, you ain't afraid to talk about shit.


We ALL have our crosses to bear.


We all have those same issues at some point in life whether we admit it or not.


You could be driving along and all of a sudden have a dizzy spell. Never had one before in your life, or maybe you did and just didnt pay it much mind...


But now, you stand up and take notice. You wonder if something is wrong? Your heart starts pounding, you start sweating, you get scared... you realize that maybe you aren't as invincible as you thought... you become more anxious.... the 'fight or flight' syndrome kicks in and you are now on red alert.


Here's the rub: Are you going to trip on this incident from here on out? Waiting, just looking and intensely feeling anything that might resemble this "episode?"... or, are you gonna let it go and move on with your life?


If you choose to obsess, trust me when I say, your mind will be more than happy to accommodate you in this venture.


There are actually people in this world who feel like total dog shit every second of every day, but they never say a word and even if they know what is causing them to feel this way, they don't stop that either. Why? Maybe because their daddy's taught them that you live, you work, you die and nothing gets in your way, ever. Or maybe they just dont give a fuck.


For those who feel that maybe they are attached to their kids, wives, girlfriends, grandkids, life.. whatever... maybe they feel they have something to lose and suddenly they feel that life is "fragile" just like everyone say's... so they spend their life... or should I say "they stop living".... now fear controls them.

Meanwhile, that other dude who is actually going out of his way to fuck himself up is just motating along as if nothing is wrong without a care in the world.


I know this isn't addressing the issue directly, but it is something to think about.

Boy oh boy, did you just hit the nail on the head here with this post. Our minds are a very powerful tool. I am a huge fan of positive thinking. It will get you out of a lot of shit that comes with just being alive.

Family is great when you don't obsess over them. Heck, my wife's health issues are well documented on Getbig. I'm her primary caregiver. Sometimes it is a pain and then I remember that there for the grace of God go I and taking care of her becomes more fulfilling then a burden. I remind myself there are people  who have no one to care for and no one who cares for them. It's positive thinking, plain and simple.

[dyslexic]

We have 24 hours in a day.


That's all I deal with.


Tomorrow I deal with tomorrow.


If I wake up cool, great. I thank God for that, I don't take it for granted.. and at least I woke up, right?


All the worry in the world...


changes nothing.


I just keep pounding that into my head and it eventually works. The pain and anguish back off a bit and I feel like I'm alive... and I don't take it for granted... and I think of those who live with obvious adversities... every single minute of every single day.


I have friends who are younger than me that are hanging by a thread. They have kids. Grandkids. Homes. Jobs.


They stand to lose everything because of an illness or an injury... something chronic.


If they can live through their day, I can sure live through mine.


I try to see things the way that they really are, but then I realize we can only see things the way we perceive them, the way we make them, accept them... live them.


Some people are truly afflicted and they are suffering. I have to keep that in mind when my low back is killing me and my heart races and the worry kicks in... hell, I don't even know what I'm worried about. I'm just a "worry-wort" I guess. I can worry so bad that my stomach will ache and I don't want to move, but not moving hurts even more so I have to get up. It's a crazy daily cycle.

I just hope one day it will pass. I believe it's just a mental crisis that I've created because a few years ago my life took on some very drastic changes. Everything had been "A-O.K' for so long, that I just figured it always would be. Then change came... and poor little me wasn't ready or prepared to deal with change.

Now I embrace it. Now I realize that change is more often good than bad.


This is why I like to talk to folks older than myself who have seen it all. They look at my problems as if they are nothing, asking if I would like to be in their shoes....


Nope. I'll stay in mine. Isn't that funny? We suffer, but we don't want to be anyone else... it's because we know deep down inside that they might be more fucked up than we are... right?

[The Wizard of Truth]

I truely don't worry about anything

[Master P]

Do what Elliot does when he gets anxiety , jerk your dick and enjoy a glass of wine or a martini

[The Wizard of Truth]

Do what Elliot does when he gets anxiety , jerk your dick and enjoy a glass of wine or a martini

looks the image of the cartoon fella Butthead

[_bruce_]

Do what Elliot does when he gets anxiety , jerk your dick and enjoy a glass of wine or a martini

Supreme gentleman - hilarious till eternity 

[dyslexic]

I truely don't worry about anything

You should speak on this. I'm sure people would love to learn the trick, but then again, it could backfire on you.


If you have never experienced anything like worry or anxiety, I wouldn't wish it on my best friend. If you start clouding your mind with our problems, they could affect you, then again, maybe you are one of those I was speaking about. I have lots of friends who seriously are NOT BOTHERED by anything. Even if they have something coming up that is very "up in the air" as to how it's gonna land, they still dont fret. It's cool and I envy them.


I guess I should just be happy that U R happy.


To live at peace... in peace... is a gift.

[The Wizard of Truth]

Oh I have experienced some shit that lads on here wouldnt believe, hence I don't care about trivial things anymore

[dyslexic]

Oh I have experienced some shit that lads on here wouldnt believe, hence I don't care about trivial things anymore

That reminds me of a Youtube video of this debt collector in the U.K.. it's pretty brutal.. the life he lived and the things that he endured.

All it did was make him stronger. So strong in fact, that people prefer to pay him to get things done rather than call the police, and he actually has a chronic illness.. among other things.

I wish I could remember the name of that vid.

Prob wouldn't be hard to find.


I was watching these vids in the U.K where groups of people would stand up for themselves at injustices, for example, unlawful evictions from huge corporate banks.

These people unified and they stood their ground, and won.


These vids led to this kind of bounty hunter in the U.k...

and I just totally changed the subject. I have a way of doing that, but most people that know me already know this.... lolo

[The Wizard of Truth]

Well I 'alledgedly' was responsible for gathering a group of 300 locals and 9500 online supporters in my small city to stand up to and drive out of town the roma gypsies who were robbing old people in churches, grooming local children with drugs for sex, mugging lads after nightclubs, shoplifting etc etc etc when the police weren't acting
http://www.irishcentral.com/opinion/others/Roma-protests---whats-behind-the-demonstrations-against-Roma-families-in-Waterford.html

[Las Vegas]

Necrosis:

only 1% of the population have real OCD, it's like saying you have ADHD(or were being ADHD)  because you are having an energetic day, it's treating mental illness like a personality or behavioural issue, it's just not. OCD is present from birth, the nervous system is wired different, it has a familial component as well

How does that compare to other anxiety problems?  (Is it thought that those are present from birth?)