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Getbig Main Boards => General Topics => Topic started by: big L dawg on January 25, 2009, 01:56:36 PM
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I have seen numerous successfull,happy,confident men become a shell of there former self after getting married.and eventually getting divorced.worst decision a man can make?I think so...
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Getting married was the best thing I have done -
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My Brothers best friend is going through a divorce right now. Ten years in and two kids 3 & 5. She was a house Wife never worked. His parents gave them their house as a wedding gift. NO PRE-NUP. She asked him for a divorce. He's done, thrown out of the house. He moved back in with Mom and Dad. 38 years old. EMT in NYC. He's going to be angry for the rest of his life. I just don't see the point?
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Getting married to a dumb woman is dumbest thing a man can do.
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What you want at 25 isn't what you want at 35, 45, and so on. My hats off to anyone that has a happy marriage. I've never seen one before.
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Worked out pretty well for this man ...
(http://www.depauw.edu/photos/PhotoDB_Repository/2007/8/Barack%20Obama%20Capitol.jpg)
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not have a prenuptial agreement
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My Brothers best friend is going through a divorce right now. Ten years in and two kids 3 & 5. She was a house Wife never worked. His parents gave them their house as a wedding gift. NO PRE-NUP. She asked him for a divorce. He's done, thrown out of the house. He moved back in with Mom and Dad. 38 years old. EMT in NYC. He's going to be angry for the rest of his life. I just don't see the point?
thrown out of his own house?? it she wants the divorce she is the one who should f off no?
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men who dont sign those things before marriage are retarded.
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Impregnating someone you don't have a future with is far dumber than marrying them. Marriage you can easily get out of it through divorce. Fathering an unwanted child is something you may be stuck with for many many years.
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Worked out pretty well for this man ...
(http://www.depauw.edu/photos/PhotoDB_Repository/2007/8/Barack%20Obama%20Capitol.jpg)
his wife is also a Harvard graduate
and a member of the Harvard 100 list
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I have seen numerous successfull,happy,confident men become a shell of there former self after getting married.and eventually getting divorced.worst decision a man can make?I think so...
wow i actually agree with you here
E
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marriage is an absolutely lose all around situation unless she is bringing something seriously substantial to the table, like a massive trust fund.
I made the mistake of getting married... shit I lived with my ex for several years before even considering it, things went downhill so fucking fast my head was spinning. the relationship literally tanked within months of getting married (ie they feel they finally landed you for good so they don't bother to try at anything anymore).
most epic waste of time and effort and money on my part. getting divorced was probably the best thing that will ever happen to me.
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I have seen numerous successfull,happy,confident men become a shell of there former self after getting married.and eventually getting divorced.worst decision a man can make?I think so...
No doubt. In most cases, marriage is only beneficial to the woman.
To those who have earned their "life" or lifestyle, and have something to lose......DO NOT MARRY. Too many men have lost their balls, and their savings to a money hungry whore, just cause she lived in your house and fucked you every other day.
Even to those with nothing to lose (usually young men), don't do it. I personally do not know of ONE happily married couple. But know of PLENTY miserable ones. What does that tell you? Marriage is an outdated concept, that needs to die off.
Living with another human being, who has their owns thoughts, their own opinions and their own agendas and interests, and to top it off, hormonal problems, is the hardest thing to do.
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My Brothers best friend is going through a divorce right now. Ten years in and two kids 3 & 5. She was a house Wife never worked. His parents gave them their house as a wedding gift. NO PRE-NUP. She asked him for a divorce. He's done, thrown out of the house. He moved back in with Mom and Dad. 38 years old. EMT in NYC. He's going to be angry for the rest of his life. I just don't see the point?
Exactly what I was talking about. That's just wrong.
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There is great wisdom in this thread.
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No doubt. In most cases, marriage is only beneficial to the woman.
To those who have earned their "life" or lifestyle, and have something to lose......DO NOT MARRY. Too many men have lost their balls, and their savings to a money hungry whore, just cause she lived in your house and fucked you every other day.
Even to those with nothing to lose (usually young men), don't do it. I personally do not know of ONE happily married couple. But know of PLENTY miserable ones. What does that tell you? Marriage is an outdated concept, that needs to die off.
Living with another human being, who has their owns thoughts, their own opinions and their own agendas and interests, and to top it off, hormonal problems, is the hardest thing to do.
i agree buddy :)
plus marriage means you are giving yourself to one person, it's not natural for a man to have sex with just one woman
E
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If I hadnt gotten married I'd probably be dead or in jail....
Either would be preferable at this point. ;D :'(
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marriage is an absolutely lose all around situation unless she is bringing something seriously substantial to the table, like a massive trust fund.
I made the mistake of getting married... shit I lived with my ex for several years before even considering it, things went downhill so fucking fast my head was spinning. the relationship literally tanked within months of getting married (ie they feel they finally landed you for good so they don't bother to try at anything anymore).
most epic waste of time and effort and money on my part. getting divorced was probably the best thing that will ever happen to me.
Congradulations. Glad you got out of it alive. We'll always be here for you for support.
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Don't let women fool you into marriage, with their head games...."if you love me, you'll marry me". ::)
Well, if you LOVE ME you'd stay with me regardless....right? Hell, I don't know about you, but I rather be with someone who chooses to stay, rather than someone who feels obligated to.
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Exactly what I was talking about. That's just wrong.
He he's a nice guy as well. He's an EMT. His life is focusing on helping people. He treated her like a Queen. She's a big noisy bitch. Watches TV all day and thinks she's a genious. Feel bad for the fella. Nice guys finish last.
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i agree buddy :)
plus marriage means you are giving yourself to one person, it's not natural for a man to have sex with just one woman
E
Amen. I told many people this before....we all crave different foods, music, entertainment, books, et cetera...and of course, women.
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He he's a nice guy as well. He's an EMT. His life is focusing on helping people. He treated her like a Queen. She's a big noisy bitch. Watches TV all day and thinks she's a genious. Feel bad for the fella. Nice guys finish last.
A fucking shame, man. I love how these bitches always lie when taking those stupid surveys.....they always want a man who treats them well, who doesn't lie, who doesn't cheat, who works hard, et cetera. yet, when they get that, they shit on you. >:(
I'd respect them more if they were honest. Speak the truth....I want money, a huge house, et cetera.
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Every Women that I have seriously dated past age 22 or so has given me the ultimatum. I never gave in once. I told them all to get lost. And 100% of them tried to come back. I just broke up with my last girlfriend of 1.5 years in September. She said love me or leave me. I hit the door. She still sends me texts and e-mails. They're Women. They are the weak. You have to keep that in your mind.
Well done, my man. Don't let the pussy have the power. Pussy is everywhere.
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Every Women that I have seriously dated past age 22 or so has given me the ultimatum. I never gave in once. I told them all to get lost. And 100% of them tried to come back. I just broke up with my last girlfriend of 1.5 years in September. She said love me or leave me. I hit the door. She still sends me texts and e-mails. They're Women. They are the weak. You have to keep that in your mind.
my new hero :D
you and quickerblade are getbig approved, hit it and quit it ;D
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I have seen numerous successfull,happy,confident men become a shell of there former self after getting married.and eventually getting divorced.worst decision a man can make?I think so...
Now a day yes.
Of course not 100%. Some women raise the man.
But unfortunately, women have tendency to be stupid when the world situation is rich in material.
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If I get married, I will hide many assets before doing it. Safety deposit box, floor safe, etc...plus the PRENUP.
Seriously, if a woman wanted to divorce me and told me to leave, I'd laugh and spit my Copenhagen on her face. Generally I hear divorce is quicker if you pay her off and just walk away.
Can you put the house in your parents' names to avoid losing your home? You know, if you owned the home before you met her but wanted to avoid her ever getting it?
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My Brothers best friend is going through a divorce right now. Ten years in and two kids 3 & 5. She was a house Wife never worked. His parents gave them their house as a wedding gift. NO PRE-NUP. She asked him for a divorce. He's done, thrown out of the house. He moved back in with Mom and Dad. 38 years old. EMT in NYC. He's going to be angry for the rest of his life. I just don't see the point?
I dont beleive in divorce but hey???????
What kind of man lets his wife kick him out of the house???? If she wants a divorce then she leaves!!!!
He is 38 free as a bird, and is still old enough to pick up a good woman.He can still see his kids, as far as the house goes, they sell the house he gets half she gets half.They he just buys another house.People act like a divorce is the end of life, no its a new begining.I was dumb and got married you to a real biT#$#, I mean a real bit#%# .My ex wife is satan, she Irish for godsake.The good news I got out when I was 25, started my life over again and married someone I am really in love with, and now live in a house thnat twice as big, and make 5 times as much money.If the woman asked him for a divorce, who would want to keep her anyways.Plus she has a 3 & and 5 yeard old, so her body is probalby not the best from having kids, and not many men are going to want to be playing daddy to some ones elses kids.I say good ridance to the girl, he 38.What he needs to do is find a good woman or just play the field.There is no shortage of good women or good people in the world.The guy is 38 he is an EMT , if he is smart he will realise that he has his whole life ahead of him
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If I get married, I will hide many assets before doing it. Safety deposit box, floor safe, etc...plus the PRENUP.
Seriously, if a woman wanted to divorce me and told me to leave, I'd laugh and spit my Copenhagen on her face. Generally I hear divorce is quicker if you pay her off and just walk away.
Can you put the house in your parents' names to avoid losing your home? You know, if you owned the home before you met her but wanted to avoid her ever getting it?
wahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahah!
then no reason to get married, my friend! ;D
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A fucking shame, man. I love how these bitches always lie when taking those stupid surveys.....they always want a man who treats them well, who doesn't lie, who doesn't cheat, who works hard, et cetera. yet, when they get that, they shit on you. >:(
I'd respect them more if they were honest. Speak the truth....I want money, a huge house, et cetera.
It's the truth. All Women want is security. They all hit a stage in their life when reality finally hits them. They realize they'll never make enough money to support everything they want. Plus no Women likes spending here own money. It gets worse and worse as they get older. Any Women over the age of 30 and not married is desperate. It's a fact!
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Let me tell you bastards something...one of the most sickening feelings you could ever experience (I hope you do not, so I tell this here and now) is when you are married, and that person, who you've shared your everything with, who you thought you could trust, turns on you.
Turns out, you never really knew her at all. She never "got you", or understood you. She was never your "friend". It is this whole other person, who's been living with you, for who knows how long, just waiting to turn on you.....to stab you through the heart, and take everything you have on top f it.
Learn from those who have lived through it. Don't roll your eyes at the "advices" we give you. I wish someone had told me.....
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It's the truth. All Women want is security. They all hit a stage in their life when reality finally hits them. They realize they'll never make enough money to support everything they want. Plus no Women likes spending here own money. It gets worse and worse as they get older. Any Women over the age of 30 and not married is desperate. It's a fact!
Oh, I dont agree that much.
If women want the security that much, they would be more humble in front of men like old society.
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This happens both ways, marriage is something to strive for in life. Both women and men get betrayed in marriage, it is not a one way street like you men are trying to make it out to be.
jt
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wahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahah!
then no reason to get married, my friend! ;D
Sorry, I'm realistic with what I see in women. Do you hear how these broads talk nowadays? I'd like to be a family man EVENTUALLY but if I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it right for me.
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It's not that I am anti-marriage. It's just not natural, and again, I don't know ANYONE who is happily married.
If you must marry, wait till you are older. At least mid-30's. IF YOU MUST!!!!!!!!!!!
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It's not that I am anti-marriage. It's just not natural, and again, I don't know ANYONE who is happily married.
If you must marry, wait till you are older. At least mid-30's. IF YOU MUST!!!!!!!!!!!
Exactly. My ex pressured me at 20-21, and so did her female family members, and I wasn't having it. That started the downward spiral of our relationship. I flat out told her I wouldn't do it until I was 30.
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This happens both ways, marriage is something to strive for in life. Both women and men get betrayed in marriage, it is not a one way street like you men are trying to make it out to be.
jt
Of course. But why is it most stories you hear are - "woman takes man for everything he has, in divorce". When do you hear the opposite? :-\
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Let me tell you bastards something...one of the most sickening feelings you could ever experience (I hope you do not, so I tell this here and now) is when you are married, and that person, who you've shared your everything with, who you thought you could trust, turns on you.
Turns out, you never really knew her at all. She never "got you", or understood you. She was never your "friend". It is this whole other person, who's been living with you, for who knows how long, just waiting to turn on you.....to stab you through the heart, and take everything you have on top f it.
Learn from those who have lived through it. Don't roll your eyes at the "advices" we give you. I wish someone had told me.....
sounds like we were married to the same c u n t.
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Exactly. My ex pressured me at 20-21, and so did her female family members, and I wasn't having it. That started the downward spiral of our relationship. I flat out told her I wouldn't do it until I was 30.
You must have been very mature for your age. Most guys just don't think straight at age 20-21. Congradulations on your survival.
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Sorry, I'm realistic with what I see in women. Do you hear how these broads talk nowadays? I'd like to be a family man EVENTUALLY but if I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it right for me.
Maybe I am a loser. Cus maybe i am going to get devorce.
The problem is...I am not doing anything bad for us and she does and she admit it and she want devorce for me.
In short, she is insecure. SO to speak,inmature.
I know many many girls like her here.
Listen. Marrying with a woman is that YOu must dedicate your whole life to her.
Even if you save your economy, you will spend your whole life spiritualy.
When you get old, the economic security means nothing and the money turns into pAPER.
Thats why When I was with my wife, my money was in her bank account.
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Let me tell you bastards something...one of the most sickening feelings you could ever experience (I hope you do not, so I tell this here and now) is when you are married, and that person, who you've shared your everything with, who you thought you could trust, turns on you.
Turns out, you never really knew her at all. She never "got you", or understood you. She was never your "friend". It is this whole other person, who's been living with you, for who knows how long, just waiting to turn on you.....to stab you through the heart, and take everything you have on top f it.
Learn from those who have lived through it. Don't roll your eyes at the "advices" we give you. I wish someone had told me.....
This is the secret to my success. I tell you. Not one marriage that I have ever been around was a happy, healthy one. I always thought to myself? Is this what I really wanna do? Then my Mom ass raping my Dad for half of his stuff didn''t help matters much. All my friends are either divorced, going through a divorce, or miserable!! My poor Brother and his Wife don't even slepp in the same room anymore. They have hallway sex. They say Fuck You to each other when they pass in the hallway. I do think about it? I just cannot see ever submitting myself to this lifestyle?
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You must have been very mature for your age. Most guys just don't think straight at age 20-21. Congradulations on your survival.
Haha, ya I had some good advice from my dad. He flat out told me that when he was my age he thought about marrying the girl. He then said, if I married her then I def wouldn't be married to her today. That spoke volumes to me.
I know a lot of guys who are young and hate their marriage but are trapped because of kids.
I also know a lot of older guys who work so much OT they crash their cars and bikes coming home, all so their wife can spend, spend, spend. There was no way I was going be like that. I'd rather be alone the rest of my life than end up like that.
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marriage is an absolutely lose all around situation unless she is bringing something seriously substantial to the table, like a massive trust fund.
I made the mistake of getting married... shit I lived with my ex for several years before even considering it, things went downhill so fucking fast my head was spinning. the relationship literally tanked within months of getting married (ie they feel they finally landed you for good so they don't bother to try at anything anymore).
most epic waste of time and effort and money on my part. getting divorced was probably the best thing that will ever happen to me.
The way I see it, there are at least 5 mistakes that usually spell DOOM to a marriage:
Mistake #1 - Shacking up. From what I've seen personally (and a few studies here and there), folks who shack up first are more likely to end up divorce than those who don't.
Mistake #2 - (Lack of) Marriage Counseling. I've often used the analogy this way: Marriage is to dating/having a girlfriend as winning the Super Bowl is to winning the NFC/AFC championship. The expectations go way up. It's a whole different level. That's why it's important to get marriage counseling. You have to know what the expectations are, for yourself and for your spouse. Some churches offer marriage counseling (in fact, some require it, before they'll perform the ceremony). The problem is that it's easily circumvented.
I don't know if there is a non-religious form of marriage counseling (for our non-Christians folks here; maybe some of these "humanist centers" provide something to that effect); but, preparation for what should be the biggest step in your life puts you on the inside track to a successful marriage.
Mistake #3 - Unrealistic expectations. You aren't Superman; your wife-to-be ain't Wonder Woman. Too many people have skeletons in their closet and jacked up homes and problems. They expect their wives/husbands to deliver them from the demons of the past. And when they can't, it's divorce time. As one pastor said so eloquently, "If you don't bring happiness into a marriage, you will not get happiness in a marriage". Contrary to that corny like in "Jerry Macquire", you can't complete your wife and your wife can't complete you.
Mistake #4 - Lack of Forgiveness and Humility. Sometimes, you'll be right and sometimes, you'll be wrong. Don't lord your wife's mistakes over her, because Lord knows you won't like it, if she does the same to you (when you screw up). If you're going to forgive her, then do just that: Forgive her and move forward.
Mistake #5: Financial irresponsibilty. Call me old-fashioned. But, I still believe the husband is the leader of the home and it is HIS responsibility to take care of his family (whether his wife works or not). And, the key word is LEADER, not tyrant, not overlord. With that said, making financial decisions, without your wife's counsel, is just plain DUMB. I know personally, I've saved myself a lot of headache, by listening to my wife's advice, before making certain decisions. You may not always agree. But, it's about working together. My wife has not worked full-time in over 5 years (partially, because we have 4-year old daughter). She wants to be home with her; and I want my baby girl to be with her mother, NOT at a day care center.
If both wife and husband work, the goal should be to make that you can live comfortably on ONE salary. If it takes both salaries to get by, chances are you are living WAY beyond your means, a potentially DEADLY scenario (especially in this economy).
That's my take on the situation. If you look at some failed marriages, more often than not, the issues I've listed are part of the reason those nuptials have gone south.
Edit - There's also that phrase, "You can't make a 'ho' a housewife". Sometimes, we guys make HORRIBLE choices for girlfriends. If you can't bring her home to Mom and Dad, if you can't see spending the next 50 years with her, if you can't see her being the mother of your children or representing you by carrying YOUR LAST NAME, if something tells you that she isn't wifey material.....END THE RELATIONSHIP (I don't care how round her booty is, or how huge her breastists be). As it says in Proverbs, "Charm is deceitful; and beauty is fleeting". You get a girl with a flawed character and destructive nature, and you'll be utterly MISERABLE, no matter how fine she is.
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i used to be a gun-toting, heartless capitalist A-hold.
Getting married turned me into this compassionate wussy more concerned with rising healthcare costs than getting laid.
stay single, brah.
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Getting married to my gay lover was the best thing I have done -
fixed.
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I am 39 and have been in a number of relationships ( 4 over 3 years or longer) and have always got the fuck out when they started pressing for marriage.
As a consequence of not getting married i have my own place, money in the bank and the fucking time of my life every weekend.
Guys - Marriage - Dont do it
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rumor has it american icon bobby sly's final blaze of glory was triggered by the antics of his no good wife.
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Of course. But why is it most stories you hear are - "woman takes man for everything he has, in divorce". When do you hear the opposite? :-\
That is because women when they are in these marriages loss a lot of their value since usually they are married at the prime of their life when they are the most attractive, they might not lose money, but they will lose future ability to score a good hot wealthy dude.
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That is because women when they are in these marriages loss a lot of their value since usually they are married at the prime of their life when they are the most attractive, they might not lose money, but they will lose future ability to score a good hot wealthy dude.
The amount you lose as a man in divorce is far more than what it would cost the bitch to get some surgery to look hot again. I'd sooner burn down my house than turn it over to my ex wife.
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Marriage can be fantastic and marriage can be horrendous.
big L dawg, you and your wife-to-be may want to consider reading:
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The amount you lose as a man in divorce is far more than what it would cost the bitch to get some surgery to look hot again. I'd sooner burn down my house than turn it over to my ex wife.
Your place Cap?
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This is the secret to my success. I tell you. Not one marriage that I have ever been around was a happy, healthy one. I always thought to myself? Is this what I really wanna do? Then my Mom ass raping my Dad for half of his stuff didn''t help matters much.
This and the fact my mother is a fucking nut job always steers me away from even thinking about marriage.
On top of that every time i meet a girl i just assume she will be nuts because even the ones that seemed 'normal' in the past turned out have enough problems to drive me nuts.
I can't see the reason a guy could get married. If you have a business, who would sign over half their shit that they could lose with NO gain whatsoever.
BTW i've met plenty of dickhead guys i'm not against women i think plenty on both sides are fucked.
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what about Palimony laws.. where you have to give alimony for long term relationships? ridiculous shit
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what about Palimony laws.. where you have to give alimony for long term relationships? ridiculous shit
No it's not, a women gives more to her man than a man gives to her. A women supports her man emotionally and it is proven men who are happily married live longer, because of their wives.
jt
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No it's not, a women gives more to her man than a man gives to her. A women supports her man emotionally and it is proven men who are happily married live longer, because of their wives.
jt
you can't even spell woman. men 'support women emotionally' as well.
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Marriage can be fantastic and marriage can be horrendous.
big L dawg, you and your wife-to-be may want to consider reading:
I made a promise to myself to not get married.been with the chick I'm with 4 a few years and she knows this.
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I made a promise to myself to not get married.been with the chick I'm with 4 a few years and she knows this.
what state do you live in? Do you know if there are palimony laws in your state?
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what state do you live in? Do you know if there are palimony laws in your state?
Isn't this if you live together? At least that's what I thought.
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I live in Ohio.don't know the palimony laws here.
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I live in Ohio.don't know the palimony laws here.
I do as well. No palimony laws here.
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I do as well. No palimony laws here.
cool.knew ohio was good for something.I know it's not there sports teams haha.
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Exactly what I was talking about. That's just wrong.
Getting divorced is OK if it's early enough... I mean, kids you're gonna pay for either way, so that's not the issue... It's losing what you worked for, and if you divorce EARLY enough... like before 35, then you still have your things... It's those who get married and accumulate things for a long period of time that get totally screwed.
oh, and in the divorce... your friends wife won't be able to keep that house if she can't afford it.
Ask my Ex how difficult it is for her to get a house now?
She will probably rent for the rest of her life.
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depends who you marry.
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Getting divorced is OK if it's early enough... I mean, kids you're gonna pay for either way, so that's not the issue... It's losing what you worked for, and if you divorce EARLY enough... like before 35, then you still have your things... It's those who get married and accumulate things for a long period of time that get totally screwed.
oh, and in the divorce... your friends wife won't be able to keep that house if she can't afford it.
Ask my Ex how difficult it is for her to get a house now?
She will probably rent for the rest of her life.
So it is better to let her fail WITH the house than pay more in alimony?
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bunch of bitter men here
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bunch of bitter men here
Bunch of greedy vindictive women out there.
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So it is better to let her fail WITH the house than pay more in alimony?
Oh hell yes.
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Bunch of greedy vindictive women out there.
its all in your head, they are good women most of them out in the world, you are bitter I can tell and look at the world as it is all against you. It's a disorder.
jt
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Would you go sky diving if there was a 50/50 chance the parachute won't open...?
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its all in your head, they are good women most of them out in the world, you are bitter I can tell and look at the world as it is all against you. It's a disorder.
jt
Ridiculous comment from someone who's never been married.
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Would you go sky diving if there was a 50/50 chance the parachute won't open...?
Perfect example.
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Hell no,
I will never have a bitch interfere with my training. :)
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I have seen numerous successfull,happy,confident men become a shell of there former self after getting married.and eventually getting divorced.worst decision a man can make?I think so...
Depends on the man. Some man just can't handle their bitch.
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then you have the guys that are gluttens for punishment.get married three and four times...now them dudes deserve what they get.thats that shame on you shame on me shit.
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Hell no,
I will never have a bitch interfere with my training. :)
::)
I look forward watching your enthusiasm wither away.
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Hell no,
I will never have a bitch interfere with my training. :)
Maybe you need a BBing chick. Problem is they might be more nuts than normal!!!!
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Impregnating someone you don't have a future with is far dumber than marrying them. Marriage you can easily get out of it through divorce. Fathering an unwanted child is something you may be stuck with for many many years.
With the right dosage of testosterone, bodybuilders have no probs with getting bitter gals up the duff.
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Learn from those who have lived through it. Don't roll your eyes at the "advices" we give you. I wish someone had told me.....
Yeah well a good friend 'o mine routinely got the juice for me at the local farm stores was married to this youngest bitter girl and she thought it was a-ok-ay to suck the carpet of a fellow female teacher; of course he wasn't happy.
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bunch of bitter men here
LOL it's exactly the same mindset as the guy dressed as santa who killed his wife and torched the house.
Essentially he made most of the money during the marriage then she took the house. ;D
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then you have the guys that are gluttens for punishment.get married three and four times...
You mean like "coach"? ;)
The opinions here have some truth, but it's a little one-sided. It's very true that someone you think you know for years and put effort into can turn around and bite you in the ass, like a total stranger. Disturbing to see, there are ahole phonies of both sexes in abundance.
It's something that has to be considered while at the same time not getting so bitter as to rule out everyone-get the nup, cover your ass then proceed with caution. ;) What someone said about marriage councelling is true, it knocks the divorce rate down substantially by eliminating many couples who thought they were compatible but really weren't.
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Bunch of greedy vindictive women out there.
Being ass-raped by the female feminist friendly courts dear, hurts.
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Getting married was the best thing I have done -
Your wife's ex-boyfriend thanks you very much...It takes all the pressure off him when he bangs her now... :D And I won't even get into the UPS and FEdex drivers(but long story short, they thank you to)
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No it's not, a women gives more to her man than a man gives to her. A women supports her man emotionally and it is proven men who are happily married live longer, because of their wives.
jt
You must be a virgin....it's clear you've never even dealt with a woman, let alone lived or had a relationship with one.
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then you have the guys that are gluttens for punishment.get married three and four times...now them dudes deserve what they get.thats that shame on you shame on me shit.
I know what you mean. I got 2 friends like that...un-fucking-real. It's like they're afraid to be alone...personally, I learned at an early age, that it is better to be alone, than to have bad company.
Both of 'em had awful divorces (is there any other kind?), and one got re-married (wife #2), and the other is about to do it again (#3). :-\
BTW, we have some young fellas here, who may not have figured this out; ALL WOMEN ARE CRAZY. It's just the level of craziness that varies.
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ive been blessed,my wife is from south america(colombia)and she and i have had a great marraige the last 8 years,we have a 2 and a half year old healthy baby boy who,s the love of our lives.im 43 and shes 28 and imo shes very beatiful inside and out.the secret to making a good marraige is treating her like its valentines day everyday,im not a rich man but something as simple as a card once aweek and making breakfast for her every morning,calling her during the day to say you love her,little things like that keep the relationship strong imo.ive been down that dating scene road before i got married and it was hard at times,just when you think you met the perfect women you find out she has a penis,just kidding,but no matter how great alot of girls come off at first,it just seemed like as soon as we moved in together they changed for the worst,i felt like i moved in with my mother most of the time.i guess the broads say the same about us,lol
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Would you go sky diving if there was a 50/50 chance the parachute won't open...?
A better question would be, "Would you go skydiving without making ALL the right safety checks to ensure the parachute opens?"
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The way I see it, there are at least 5 mistakes that usually spell DOOM to a marriage:
Mistake #1 - Shacking up. From what I've seen personally (and a few studies here and there), folks who shack up first are more likely to end up divorce than those who don't.
Mistake #2 - (Lack of) Marriage Counseling. I've often used the analogy this way: Marriage is to dating/having a girlfriend as winning the Super Bowl is to winning the NFC/AFC championship. The expectations go way up. It's a whole different level. That's why it's important to get marriage counseling. You have to know what the expectations are, for yourself and for your spouse. Some churches offer marriage counseling (in fact, some require it, before they'll perform the ceremony). The problem is that it's easily circumvented.
I don't know if there is a non-religious form of marriage counseling (for our non-Christians folks here; maybe some of these "humanist centers" provide something to that effect); but, preparation for what should be the biggest step in your life puts you on the inside track to a successful marriage.
Mistake #3 - Unrealistic expectations. You aren't Superman; your wife-to-be ain't Wonder Woman. Too many people have skeletons in their closet and jacked up homes and problems. They expect their wives/husbands to deliver them from the demons of the past. And when they can't, it's divorce time. As one pastor said so eloquently, "If you don't bring happiness into a marriage, you will not get happiness in a marriage". Contrary to that corny like in "Jerry Macquire", you can't complete your wife and your wife can't complete you.
Mistake #4 - Lack of Forgiveness and Humility. Sometimes, you'll be right and sometimes, you'll be wrong. Don't lord your wife's mistakes over her, because Lord knows you won't like it, if she does the same to you (when you screw up). If you're going to forgive her, then do just that: Forgive her and move forward.
Mistake #5: Financial irresponsibilty. Call me old-fashioned. But, I still believe the husband is the leader of the home and it is HIS responsibility to take care of his family (whether his wife works or not). And, the key word is LEADER, not tyrant, not overlord. With that said, making financial decisions, without your wife's counsel, is just plain DUMB. I know personally, I've saved myself a lot of headache, by listening to my wife's advice, before making certain decisions. You may not always agree. But, it's about working together. My wife has not worked full-time in over 5 years (partially, because we have 4-year old daughter). She wants to be home with her; and I want my baby girl to be with her mother, NOT at a day care center.
If both wife and husband work, the goal should be to make that you can live comfortably on ONE salary. If it takes both salaries to get by, chances are you are living WAY beyond your means, a potentially DEADLY scenario (especially in this economy).
That's my take on the situation. If you look at some failed marriages, more often than not, the issues I've listed are part of the reason those nuptials have gone south.
Edit - There's also that phrase, "You can't make a 'ho' a housewife". Sometimes, we guys make HORRIBLE choices for girlfriends. If you can't bring her home to Mom and Dad, if you can't see spending the next 50 years with her, if you can't see her being the mother of your children or representing you by carrying YOUR LAST NAME, if something tells you that she isn't wifey material.....END THE RELATIONSHIP (I don't care how round her booty is, or how huge her breastists be). As it says in Proverbs, "Charm is deceitful; and beauty is fleeting". You get a girl with a flawed character and destructive nature, and you'll be utterly MISERABLE, no matter how fine she is.
Maybe the best post I've ever read on the topic. Quoted for truth.
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Getting married is usually not a good idea. I've been married for 3 years and am very happy so far, but there are days when it does feel like work. I certainly don't recommend this for everyone....I think most people SHOULD NOT be married.
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making breakfast for her every morning
i'm a straight guy, gracie, but i'd marry you for breakfast every morning.
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I guess my question to the more cynical guys is this...
Are you going to be happy when you're old and alone? I mean, I can see how much fun it is to be single and young, but there's not much of a "young hot ass" market for the over-55 set...
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I guess my question to the more cynical guys is this...
Are you going to be happy when you're old and alone? I mean, I can see how much fun it is to be single and young, but there's not much of a "young hot ass" market for the over-55 set...
As long as your not a broke dumb dick you'll be able to pull young Women your whole life. Thats a fact.
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Getting married is usually not a good idea. I've been married for 3 years and am very happy so far, but there are days when it does feel like work. I certainly don't recommend this for everyone....I think most people SHOULD NOT be married.
I watch Maury every single day. That and my life experiences tell me no marriage for me.
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I watch Maury every single day. That and my life experiences tell me no marriage for me.
lol
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I guess my question to the more cynical guys is this...
Are you going to be happy when you're old and alone? I mean, I can see how much fun it is to be single and young, but there's not much of a "young hot ass" market for the over-55 set...
I would be happy to be old and financially secure.but a failed marriage or two would surly nip that in the butt.and I would probably work until I die instead of enjoy retirement.also I happen to know some men in there mid fifty's early sixty's that still get thirty something year old ass....however another reason I choose to not marry is that it is a religious institution.and me not being a religious man,there's really no point.and on top of that all it does is make the state a third party to all your affairs.All in All it's the worst contract a man can sign.
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I would be happy to be old and financially secure.but a failed marriage or two would surly nip that in the butt.and I would probably work until I die instead of enjoy retirement.also I happen to know some men in there mid fifty's early sixty's that still get thirty something year old ass....however another reason I choose to not marry is that it is a religious institution.and me not being a religious man,there's really no point.and on top of that all it does is make the state a third party to all your affairs.All in All it's the worst contract a man can sign.
Can't put it any more crystal clear then that. Buy that Man a beer.
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marriage is an absolutely lose all around situation unless she is bringing something seriously substantial to the table, like a massive trust fund.
Marriage only works as a business agreement.
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I have seen numerous successfull,happy,confident men become a shell of there former self after getting married.and eventually getting divorced.worst decision a man can make?I think so...
"What's the matter Harry? Some little philly break your heart?"
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Marriage only works as a business agreement.
This is what I've been told time and time again.
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his wife is also a Harvard graduate
and a member of the Harvard 100 list
not to mention, ugly as a sack of assholes.
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i used to be a gun-toting, heartless capitalist A-hold.
Getting married turned me into this compassionate wussy more concerned with rising healthcare costs than getting laid.
stay single, brah.
lol......that's it. I'm changing my mind
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Let me tell you bastards something...one of the most sickening feelings you could ever experience (I hope you do not, so I tell this here and now) is when you are married, and that person, who you've shared your everything with, who you thought you could trust, turns on you.
Turns out, you never really knew her at all. She never "got you", or understood you. She was never your "friend". It is this whole other person, who's been living with you, for who knows how long, just waiting to turn on you.....to stab you through the heart, and take everything you have on top f it.
Learn from those who have lived through it. Don't roll your eyes at the "advices" we give you. I wish someone had told me.....
Fuck, I'll never get married then.
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Here's my thoughts on the matter....
Historically marriage was a way for a man to tell the world that this woman is now essentially his property annd no other man can fuck with her. It was the man that went to work whilst the woman had the children and by far the majority of the time brought them up, looked after them etc etc. The woman KNEW she had to toe the line and please her man as if he wanted to get rid of her she was out - children or not!! In other words the man had the power in the relationship and the woman knew she had to step up and be a good wife (with all the ramifications of that term!) Fast forward to modern times and due to rampant feminisation, hugely biased family/ divorce laws and "modern men" (a term I could moan about for literally days at a time, and often do!!) marriage has become an institution soley for the benefit of women. They patently now realise that the concequences of being a poor, nasty, adulterous wife (or simply a horrid person in whichever way it manifests itself) are simply a divorce where she will benefit faaaaar more than thhe man will anyway!!! (especially if children are involved)
Women seem to latch on to this overly kitsch romantic notion that marriage solves everything and "controls" the man as she now finally "has" him in all ways possible. Every single one of my mates who has got married says that their wives very rappidly change for the worst and become extreemly controlling down to the finest detail. As i mentioned earlier Im sure it's because women know that if they act like a bitch whats the guy gonna do? Get a divorce and loose pretty much everything he's ever worked for? Getting married gives the power to the woman whereas historically it gave the power to the men.
Anyway, thats just my opinion and I really shouldnt be here when the "spandex" thread exists!! ;D
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not to mention, ugly as a sack of assholes.
She's pretty and has a good attitude.
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She's pretty and has a good attitude.
She's hot in a King Kong sort of way.
(http://www.salem-news.com/stimg/october092007/michelle_obama310.jpg)
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She's pretty and has a good attitude.
If you think that's pretty....damn bro. I don't want to see your dates.
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Getting married was the best thing I have done -
Gayer than not sniffing your fingers after opening a can of tuna. :D
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I have seen numerous successfull,happy,confident men become a shell of there former self after getting married.and eventually getting divorced.worst decision a man can make?I think so...
A marriage is a job that takes two. If one is working hard at it...it's going to fail. The trick is knowing if your mate is a hard worker, or just a slug. ;) It works both ways.
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Here's another twist....I was checking a myspace chica the other day. Now I saw her page about three months ago, she wasn't seeing or dating anybody. As of Jan.2009 she went to Egypt and got married to a 24 yr old dude she doesn't even know. And she is 32, with a young girl. She has a Master's degree in some physch field and is a artist. Fine as hell too. But what the fuck would you marry some foreign dude that you don't know jack shit about? When most marriages in end in the shitter, how the fuck....
And the thing is, most guys like the ones on here, and myslef included would have told a dude in the same scenario, do do that shit. But her girlfriends are like, Congrats, and giving props. Totally differnt perspective. Women think of of wedding, yet don't think about the actual MARRIAGE. Men think of marriage like a business proposal, or like buying a car...how much is the bitch gonna depreciate over time.
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Here's another twist....I was checking a myspace chica the other day. Now I saw her page about three months ago, she wasn't seeing or dating anybody. As of Jan.2009 she went to Egypt and got married to a 24 yr old dude she doesn't even know. And she is 32, with a young girl. She has a Master's degree in some physch field and is a artist. Fine as hell too. But what the fuck would you marry some foreign dude that you don't know jack shit about? When most marriages in end in the shitter, how the fuck....
And the thing is, most guys like the ones on here, and myslef included would have told a dude in the same scenario, do do that shit. But her girlfriends are like, Congrats, and giving props. Totally differnt perspective. Women think of of wedding, yet don't think about the actual MARRIAGE. Men think of marriage like a business proposal, or like buying a car...how much is the bitch gonna depreciate over time.
I agree that women romanticise weddings/marriage. But I don't agree about how men look at it. I think men look at marriage in fear of what they will lose (money, freedom, other women, etc).
It's sad, because you should get married knowing that you WANT to spend the rest of your life with this person and only this person and that NO ONE else in the world makes you as comfortable and happy and whom you can always count on no matter what the circumstances. Seems now people get married without really considering those things.
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A marriage is a job that takes two. If one is working hard at it...it's going to fail. The trick is knowing if your mate is a hard worker, or just a slug. ;) It works both ways.
haha Laura are you saying mike is a slug? ;D
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She's hot in a King Kong sort of way.
If you think that's pretty....damn bro. I don't want to see your dates.
Both of you have serious baggage, as seen in your posts. Explains the warped perspectives. She looks better than any other first lady i can think of, works out and is lookin good.
Hope that helps.
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She's pretty and has a good attitude.
Yep, Michelle is the total package. She brings a lot more to the table than a big ass.. This woman has brains is savvy, can speak articulately and represents herself and her husband well in public plus I bet the pussy had low miles before Barack hit it. Now who would your parents rather you bring home. A woman with these qualities or some mindless blonde bimbo hell bent on you child support check?
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Now who would your parents rather you bring home. A woman with these qualities or some mindless blonde bimbo hell bent on you child support check?
I think we know the answer as to why these geniuses have major baggage and divorces. ;D
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I agree that women romanticise weddings/marriage. But I don't agree about how men look at it. I think men look at marriage in fear of what they will lose (money, freedom, other women, etc).
It's sad, because you should get married knowing that you WANT to spend the rest of your life with this person and only this person and that NO ONE else in the world makes you as comfortable and happy and whom you can always count on no matter what the circumstances. Seems now people get married without really considering those things.
How long have you and Mike been married?
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Depends on whom you marry. I'm really lucky that my wife makes the $$ and I can stay home to take care of our daughter and go to the gym whenever I want.
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If you think that's pretty....damn bro. I don't want to see your dates.
Ditto dude. Mrs. Obama is nothing to brag about in the looks department.
Men have a warped view of marriage because we constantly hear about how other men are fcuked over in divorce settlements. Every man should get a prenup and should tuck something away for a rainy day. Safety deposit boxes are a man's best friend, especially if she doesn't know about it.
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black girls give the best lovin. you can bet that Obama is on Defcon 1 in the bedroom.
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How long have you and Mike been married?
We're not married Techno, but we've been together 4 wonderful years. :D
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I agree that women romanticise weddings/marriage. But I don't agree about how men look at it. I think men look at marriage in fear of what they will lose (money, freedom, other women, etc).
It's sad, because you should get married knowing that you WANT to spend the rest of your life with this person and only this person and that NO ONE else in the world makes you as comfortable and happy and whom you can always count on no matter what the circumstances. Seems now people get married without really considering those things.
It's Over...
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We're not married Techno, but we've been together 4 wonderful years. :D
and how many shit years have you been together
;)
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and how many shit years have you been together
;)
If you give me a few hours...I'm sure I'll find something funny with that statement. ::)
just kidding. :P It's true though. We have had 4 really good years (outside of my illness - which may have even brought us closer). In those 4 years we may have only argued 3-4 times. :)
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If you give me a few hours...I'm sure I'll find something funny with that statement. ::)
just kidding. :P It's true though. We have had 4 really good years (outside of my illness - which may have even brought us closer). In those 4 years we may have only argued 3-4 times. :)
well sounds like as long as you don't get married you guys will be fine
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either way im glad im a guy.
there is no rush to get married for us
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i'm a straight guy, gracie, but i'd marry you for breakfast every morning.
lol,i get up at 2am every morning,i open up the gym at 5am but i like to get there early and train and do cardio work before the members roll in.i live right around the corner from the gym so it takes me about 3 minutes by car if that to get there,my wife loves blueberry pancakes and eggs,i cook her breakfast while im on the getbig boards.i think its very important to let your children (especially the little boys),to see his father treating his wife with respect and kindness.little kids are very impressionable and i want to make sure my son grows up and respects the good women out there,and hes always copying me in everything i do so i have to be on good behavior at all times.sometimes i hit my toe on a coffee table or something and wanna yell,fuggin shit table,but i cant cause hell repeat that faster then anything.one day i slipped and said shit,he waits till my wife gets home and out of all the times to say that word,mind you hes only 2 years and ahalf years old,he was born on the 4th of july in 2006 so you can barely make out what hes saying but its not that hard.we are eating dinner and he starts saying shit,shit,shit like 10 times in a row,my wife says what is he saying? in that voice all of us married guys no means here comes the lecture now for 2 hours from here,lol.i said he saying ships,i said we where watching a documentory on the edmund fitzgerald ship that sunk in the great lakes back in the early 70,s i believe.she didnt buy it but i stuck with my story,never admit anything unless your totally cornered,even then just blame everthing on one of your buddies and apoligize to her.the reason alot of marraiges and relationships fail is cause no one wants to compromise and admit maybe they where wrong,pride and stubborness has ruined alot of what could have been a very happy lifetime together.ive never had a problem telling my wife im sorry,or for that matter telling anyone things like pardon me,excuse me,thank you ect.my mom taught me that at a very young age.my dad was an alcoholic,he used to beat me down bad starting at about 6 years old,back in the late 60,s and early 70,s there was no deyfus or child abuse laws that enforced it,not in my neck of the woods anyway.i mean i got into the things all 8 yr old and up kids got into,playing hooky from school alittle ect,but my dad,d father,who i never met,he shot himself in the head when my dad was around 13 or so.i guess he took it out on me or something cause he put in the emergency room like 7 times,my dad told me if i told the doctors the truth he would kill me next time,i was scared shitless and kept my pie hole shut.as far as my new life,ive never even yelled at my son cause im so scared of turning out like my dad,when i look at my son its impossible to imagine wanting to hurt him,i never loved anything more in my life then my son.i have a good relationship with my dad today,i forgave him cause thats what jesus wanted me to do.whats weird is me and him never speak about those days,im kinda glad cause it would feel akward in a sense.my mom told me he told her he couldnt understand why he hurt me so bad and often,my mom said he says he loves me and thats good enough for me
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lol,i get up at 2am every morning,i open up the gym at 5am but i like to get there early and train and do cardio work before the members roll in.i live right around the corner from the gym so it takes me about 3 minutes by car if that to get there,my wife loves blueberry pancakes and eggs,i cook her breakfast while im on the getbig boards.i think its very important to let your children (especially the little boys),to see his father treating his wife with respect and kindness.little kids are very impressionable and i want to make sure my son grows up and respects the good women out there,and hes always copying me in everything i do so i have to be on good behavior at all times.sometimes i hit my toe on a coffee table or something and wanna yell,fuggin shit table,but i cant cause hell repeat that faster then anything.
one day i slipped and said shit,he waits till my wife gets home and out of all the times to say that word,mind you hes only 2 years and ahalf years old,he was born on the 4th of july in 2006 so you can barely make out what hes saying but its not that hard.we are eating dinner and he starts saying shit,shit,shit like 10 times in a row,my wife says what is he saying? in that voice all of us married guys no means here comes the lecture now for 2 hours from here,lol.i said he saying ships,i said we where watching a documentory on the edmund fitzgerald ship that sunk in the great lakes back in the early 70,s i believe.she didnt buy it but i stuck with my story,
never admit anything unless your totally cornered,even then just blame everthing on one of your buddies and apoligize to her.the reason alot of marraiges and relationships fail is cause no one wants to compromise and admit maybe they where wrong,pride and stubborness has ruined alot of what could have been a very happy lifetime together.ive never had a problem telling my wife im sorry,or for that matter telling anyone things like pardon me,excuse me,thank you ect.my mom taught me that at a very young age.my dad was an alcoholic,he used to beat me down bad starting at about 6 years old,back in the late 60,s and early 70,s there was no deyfus or child abuse laws that enforced it,not in my neck of the woods anyway.i mean i got into the things all 8 yr old and up kids got into,playing hooky from school alittle ect,
but my dad,d father,who i never met,he shot himself in the head when my dad was around 13 or so.i guess he took it out on me or something cause he put in the emergency room like 7 times,my dad told me if i told the doctors the truth he would kill me next time,
i was scared shitless and kept my pie hole shut.as far as my new life,ive never even yelled at my son cause im so scared of turning out like my dad,when i look at my son its impossible to imagine wanting to hurt him,i never loved anything more in my life then my son.i have a good relationship with my dad today,i forgave him cause thats what jesus wanted me to do.whats weird is me and him never speak about those days
,im kinda glad cause it would feel akward in a sense.my mom told me he told her he couldnt understand why he hurt me so bad and often,my mom said he says he loves me and thats good enough for me
fixed
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fixed
Thankyou.
This retard seems to be allergic to paragraphs...
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Thankyou.
This retard seems to be allergic to paragraphs...
Maybe he's afraid of pressing "enter".
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lol,i get up at 2am every morning,i open up the gym at 5am but i like to get there early and train and do cardio work before the members roll in.i live right around the corner from the gym so it takes me about 3 minutes by car if that to get there,my wife loves blueberry pancakes and eggs,i cook her breakfast while im on the getbig boards.i think its very important to let your children (especially the little boys),to see his father treating his wife with respect and kindness.little kids are very impressionable and i want to make sure my son grows up and respects the good women out there,and hes always copying me in everything i do so i have to be on good behavior at all times.sometimes i hit my toe on a coffee table or something and wanna yell,fuggin shit table,but i cant cause hell repeat that faster then anything.one day i slipped and said shit,he waits till my wife gets home and out of all the times to say that word,mind you hes only 2 years and ahalf years old,he was born on the 4th of july in 2006 so you can barely make out what hes saying but its not that hard.we are eating dinner and he starts saying shit,shit,shit like 10 times in a row,my wife says what is he saying? in that voice all of us married guys no means here comes the lecture now for 2 hours from here,lol.i said he saying ships,i said we where watching a documentory on the edmund fitzgerald ship that sunk in the great lakes back in the early 70,s i believe.she didnt buy it but i stuck with my story,never admit anything unless your totally cornered,even then just blame everthing on one of your buddies and apoligize to her.the reason alot of marraiges and relationships fail is cause no one wants to compromise and admit maybe they where wrong,pride and stubborness has ruined alot of what could have been a very happy lifetime together.ive never had a problem telling my wife im sorry,or for that matter telling anyone things like pardon me,excuse me,thank you ect.my mom taught me that at a very young age.my dad was an alcoholic,he used to beat me down bad starting at about 6 years old,back in the late 60,s and early 70,s there was no deyfus or child abuse laws that enforced it,not in my neck of the woods anyway.i mean i got into the things all 8 yr old and up kids got into,playing hooky from school alittle ect,but my dad,d father,who i never met,he shot himself in the head when my dad was around 13 or so.i guess he took it out on me or something cause he put in the emergency room like 7 times,my dad told me if i told the doctors the truth he would kill me next time,i was scared shitless and kept my pie hole shut.as far as my new life,ive never even yelled at my son cause im so scared of turning out like my dad,when i look at my son its impossible to imagine wanting to hurt him,i never loved anything more in my life then my son.i have a good relationship with my dad today,i forgave him cause thats what jesus wanted me to do.whats weird is me and him never speak about those days,im kinda glad cause it would feel akward in a sense.my mom told me he told her he couldnt understand why he hurt me so bad and often,my mom said he says he loves me and thats good enough for me
Props dude. You sound like a good guy. Of course, 240 will be proposing marriage by PM any sec now. ;)
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Props dude. You sound like a good guy. Of course, 240 will be proposing marriage by PM any sec now. ;)
I was infatuated with the pancake idea. Then when I found out they were blueberry and he had a kid my own son's age to play with, I was sold.
Plus me and gracie would have a cool relationship because the extent of our relationship would be watching the NFL playoff and a UFC match, then going out and picking up some random chicks to bang. It's a win-win really.
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I am married for 15 years, and have two wonderful kids. There are always times that are rougher than others, but I like being married, and having someone who loves you for who you are. You don't need to act, be someone you are not, and having a family with kids that are happy and laughing is the best.
Yes, you can be single, but that is your decision. I know many older single people that do regret not getting married, or letting that special person go.
Now, of course, I got this email from some single guys..
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Alexander Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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Nice thread. This is my take on the whole thing:
Married guys will defend in favor of it.
Bachelors will argue against it.
Divorced guys will just stay quite...
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A marriage is a job that takes two. If one is working hard at it...it's going to fail. The trick is knowing if your mate is a hard worker, or just a slug. ;) It works both ways.
i have a job already i don't need another.....i would never want to be in a relationship that i thought of as work.....if its not adding to my life an immense amount i rather not be in it
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FEMALE POEM
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen all day long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, not be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind,
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And forever be my very best friend.
MALE POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
With huge boobs who owns a
Liquor store and a fishing boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
Nice thread. This is my take on the whole thing:
Married guys will defend in favor of it.
Bachelors will argue against it.
Divorced guys will just stay quite...
All of them have pretty much advised against it in this thread.
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one day i slipped and said shit,we are eating dinner and he starts saying shit,shit,shit like 10 times in a row,
lol.i said he saying ships,i said we where watching a documentory on the edmund fitzgerald ship ,never admit anything unless your totally cornered,even then just blame everthing on one of your buddies and apoligize to her,
i forgave him cause thats what jesus wanted me to do
Why do you lie?
Why not tell her you fell and said shit, are you that scared of her?
You will teach your son about Jesus and lying....
To the OP dont get married, just look at the divorce % they should invent something else
than marriage.
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I am married for 15 years, and have two wonderful kids. There are always times that are rougher than others, but I like being married, and having someone who loves you for who you are. You don't need to act, be someone you are not, and having a family with kids that are happy and laughing is the best.
Yes, you can be single, but that is your decision. I know many older single people that do regret not getting married, or letting that special person go.
Now, of course, I got this email from some single guys..
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Alexander Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Honeymoon is that brief period of time between "I do" and "You'd better....."
One wife said to her husband, "If you want breakfast in bed, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN!!"
A man was speeding down a road and a police officer started following him, the man kept speeding; and the policeman kept following him. After a while, the man finally stopped. The policeman was so exasperated, he told the man, "Look, if you give me one good reason why you kept speeding and didn't stop earlier, I won't give you a ticket."
The man said, "You won't believe this, sir. But, two weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer".
The officer asked, "What's that got to do with your speeding?".
The man replied, "I thought you were that same police officer, chasing me down to give her back!"
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I am married for 15 years, and have two wonderful kids. There are always times that are rougher than others, but I like being married, and having someone who loves you for who you are. You don't need to act, be someone you are not, and having a family with kids that are happy and laughing is the best.
Yes, you can be single, but that is your decision. I know many older single people that do regret not getting married, or letting that special person go.
Now, of course, I got this email from some single guys..
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Alexander Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
HAHAHAHAHA, great quotes, Ron! LOL!
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i have a job already i don't need another.....i would never want to be in a relationship that i thought of as work.....if its not adding to my life an immense amount i rather not be in it
Even when the two people get along great...it's still work. The trick is enjoy it. People are constantly growing and experiencing new things. For some marriages it's an easy process, for others...not so easy. But if you think it isn't work that "makes it work", you are sadly mistaken. But that is just my opinion and experience as I have done it twice already. ;)
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But that is just my opinion and experience as I have done it twice already. ;)
I guess it's a learning process.
I'm sure you'll do much better with the fourth and the fifth.
8)
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I guess my question to the more cynical guys is this...
Are you going to be happy when you're old and alone? I mean, I can see how much fun it is to be single and young, but there's not much of a "young hot ass" market for the over-55 set...
Like it's so great to be old and have some old bag constantly yappin' in your ear.
And there's plenty of young hot ass for an old guy, as long as he has money, just ask "Hef."
"As he gets older, the intellectual man naturally gravitates toward solitude, as society has less to offer him"
Arthur Schopenhauer
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I guess it's a learning process.
I'm sure you'll do much better with the fourth and the fifth.
8)
Uhhh, no 4th or 5th for me thanks. ;)
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Some good points and wisdom in this post.
I agree with many of you.
There is NO benefit for men in marriage, EVER.
Never once in my life seen real happy couple, NEVER.
Seen tons of miserable ones including my parent and all of my relatives and friends.
Happy marriage is like a ghost that everyone talks about it yet NO ONE HAS SEEN IT!
I know there are happily married few.
I'm happy for them however not everyone is winning lottery.
The worst thing a man can do is getting married or having a child.
Again, I have to emphasize on this one that THERE IS NO BENEFIT FOR MEN IN MARRIAGE, NEVER, EVER, PERIOD!
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Congrats bro.
It's cool that you have great marriage.
Consider yourself have won lottery.
I came across lottery winners few times but never even MET one happily married guy in my life, EVER.
Either way, good for you dude.
ive been blessed,my wife is from south america(colombia)and she and i have had a great marraige the last 8 years,we have a 2 and a half year old healthy baby boy who,s the love of our lives.im 43 and shes 28 and imo shes very beatiful inside and out.the secret to making a good marraige is treating her like its valentines day everyday,im not a rich man but something as simple as a card once aweek and making breakfast for her every morning,calling her during the day to say you love her,little things like that keep the relationship strong imo.ive been down that dating scene road before i got married and it was hard at times,just when you think you met the perfect women you find out she has a penis,just kidding,but no matter how great alot of girls come off at first,it just seemed like as soon as we moved in together they changed for the worst,i felt like i moved in with my mother most of the time.i guess the broads say the same about us,lol
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I rather be alone even in my old age.
I don't even care if I could not get laid anymore.
Sex is the only thing women can offer and they use it like a weapon.
So fuck them if they don't want to sleep with me anymore.
I will never sign that contract of death/suicide (marriage) even if that means I will never get laid.
Fuck that shit.
I guess my question to the more cynical guys is this...
Are you going to be happy when you're old and alone? I mean, I can see how much fun it is to be single and young, but there's not much of a "young hot ass" market for the over-55 set...
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Some good points and wisdom in this post.
I agree with many of you.
There is NO benefit for men in marriage, EVER.
Never once in my life seen real happy couple, NEVER.
Seen tons of miserable ones including my parent and all of my relatives and friends.
Happy marriage is like a ghost that everyone talks about it yet NO ONE HAS SEEN IT!
I know there are happily married few.
I'm happy for them however not everyone is winning lottery.
The worst thing a man can do is getting married or having a child.
Again, I have to emphasize on this one that THERE IS NO BENEFIT FOR MEN IN MARRIAGE, NEVER, EVER, PERIOD!
Pretty solid post right here
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First of all. mariage in US = business. theres no love.only the love for money.
Just take a look to all this girls out there looking for some rich guy.
But sometimes the rich guy never shows up. then she gets old and lonely. but... whatever.
lets go back to the " I love you = Give me the f.k money othervise i can't love you"
Whos to blame? american men. why? well! in america men has to pay for everything.
And women knows how to take advantage of that situation.
Im not saying you should not buy her some s.ht and this and that.
But how about this? You take my hand , lets fight the world,you have your job and i have my. we work , so we can conquer things together.
ps: sorry for my english.
ps2: sorry Ron for my avatar.
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The worst thing a man can do is getting married or having a child.
I disagree about children. I used to thinks exactly like you before my own was born. One can't not love his own child. If he does - he has psychological problems and needs treatment.
As for the problems of marriage - children are hardly ever a real problem. It's the relationship between the spouses that is always the real cause of unhappiness.
It's not unexpected though: the thing is - we all need some sort of own space (be it mental or physical) and a sense of freedom. This is why we can only have decent relationships when we maintain a certain distance with the person. When on the other hand you live under the same roof, sleep in the same bed and shit in the same toilet for 10 years - there will inevitably be friction - lots of friction.
And yeah, there are a very few ones that are very happy in marriage, but exceptions normally support generality, not refute it.
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I love how I'm seeing so many posts about women using men for $$$. I can't even tell you how many men do exactly the same thing. I've had 2 men in my life that tried to sponge off me (no, didn't marry either one and no, neither were Mike >:() Hell the gym I go to has 4 men that I know personally and are living off women...that's just one gym. So that line goes both ways...and those are bad people (IMO). Obviously not every relationship is going to be "the one". We go through trials and tribulations but some get very lucky and find the right one. The one who walks with us, not in front of us or behind us. Some people just rush into things. I've done it. Thought it was what I wanted...who I wanted but things changed. My first marriage ended because I grew up and he didn't. The second one ended because he "thought" the grass was green on the other side (had an affair with a 20 yr old...we were both 40). He thought he could relive his youth with her and left me only to have her dump him right after. She was one of those bad people and he found out the grass wasn't green on that side.
It all comes down to the individual, not the gender.
And to Steel-Lucifuge...if the guys follow your rule...the human race would end (no children...are you serious?)
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I love how I'm seeing so many posts about women using men for $$$. I can't even tell you how many men do exactly the same thing. I've had 2 men in my life that tried to sponge off me (no, didn't marry either one and no, neither were Mike >:() Hell the gym I go to has 4 men that I know personally and are living off women...that's just one gym. So that line goes both ways...and those are bad people (IMO). Obviously not every relationship is going to be "the one". We go through trials and tribulations but some get very lucky and find the right one. The one who walks with us, not in front of us or behind us. Some people just rush into things. I've done it. Thought it was what I wanted...who I wanted but things changed. My first marriage ended because I grew up and he didn't. The second one ended because he "thought" the grass was green on the other side (had an affair with a 20 yr old...we were both 40). He thought he could relive his youth with her and left me only to have her dump him right after. She was one of those bad people and he found out the grass wasn't green on that side.
It all comes down to the individual, not the gender.
And to Steel-Lucifuge...if the guys follow your rule...the human race would end (no children...are you serious?)
Very true
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Too much Leykis.
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Steel-Lucifuge, it sounds like you are having some trouble with the ladies ???
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Man!! a lot of scarred men out there with some of these nightmare stories I'm reading! Might as well put my experience out there....
I'm married for almost 2 years now and it's been great. I hear a lot of naysayers out there that say, "you're newlyweds....give it time because it will soon go downhill." I've witnessed that logic firsthand with some of my friends who have gotten married way too young or married the wrong person. But I think my situation is different.
I'm married to a woman that I've known since I was 20 years old.(I'm 35 now and she's almost 32). We first started dating when she was a senior in high school and I was soon to be off to college. Obviously, long distance relationships almost never work so we decided to give our relationship a break. College life was too much fun to have a steady girlfriend, to be honest. ;)
We would get back together every so often but for very short periods of time. She eventually moved out west to live with her boyfriend at the time and I stayed on the east coast and focused on my career. I had numerous girlfriends over the next 5 years. During that time, her and I would hook up once in a blue moon when she came home to visit. However, the timing in our lives was never in synch but there were always strong feelings toward one another.
Needless to say, things didn't work out in her relationship out west and she moved back home and i didn't even know about it. I had just ended a 2 year relationship and we happened to bump into one another out one night, quite by chance. We started in a relationship again and we instantly connected like we always did. There was no doubt about the mutual feelings towards one another but i wasn't ready to get married yet. Two years later in a relationship at 32 years old, I proposed to her.
I've had LOTS of fun in my younger years. I've traveled around the world and dated lots of different women. After age 30, going to bars or getting set up on dates through friends just got old. I didn't settle(surrender) with the woman I have now. It just felt right and I'm still in love with her to this day after knowing her for almost 15 years. We have a lot of history together. But we both waited extra long and made sure that we were right for each other. Marriage was the next logical step, in my opinion.
I'm happy to be with her right now. I'll check back in a few years and give a progress report but so far, so good!
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Even when the two people get along great...it's still work. The trick is enjoy it. People are constantly growing and experiencing new things. For some marriages it's an easy process, for others...not so easy. But if you think it isn't work that "makes it work", you are sadly mistaken. But that is just my opinion and experience as I have done it twice already. ;)
thats pretty funny
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Man!! a lot of scarred men out there with some of these nightmare stories I'm reading! Might as well put my experience out there....
I'm married for almost 2 years now and it's been great. I hear a lot of naysayers out there that say, "you're newlyweds....give it time because it will soon go downhill." I've witnessed that logic firsthand with some of my friends who have gotten married way too young or married the wrong person. But I think my situation is different.
I'm married to a woman that I've known since I was 20 years old.(I'm 35 now and she's almost 32). We first started dating when she was a senior in high school and I was soon to be off to college. Obviously, long distance relationships almost never work so we decided to give our relationship a break. College life was too much fun to have a steady girlfriend, to be honest. ;)
We would get back together every so often but for very short periods of time. She eventually moved out west to live with her boyfriend at the time and I stayed on the east coast and focused on my career. I had numerous girlfriends over the next 5 years. During that time, her and I would hook up once in a blue moon. However, the timing in our lives was never in synch but there were always strong feelings toward one another.
Needless to say, things didn't work out in her relationship out west and she moved back home and i didn't even know about it. I had just ended a 2 year relationship and we happened to bump into one another out one night, quite by chance. We started in a relationship again and we instantly connected like we always did. There was no doubt about the mutual feelings towards one another but i wasn't ready to get married yet. Two years later in a relationship at 32 years old, I proposed to her.
I've had LOTS of fun in my younger years. I've traveled around the world and dated lots of different women. After age 30, going to bars or getting set up on dates through friends just got old. I didn't settle(surrender) with the woman I have now. It just felt right and I'm still in love with her to this day after knowing her for well over 15 years. We have a lot of history together. But we both waited extra long and made sure that we were right for each other. Marriage was the next logical step, in my opinion.
I'm happy to be with her right now. I'll check back in a few years and give a progress report but so far, so good!
Everyone does my friend... Everyone does.
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Children are hardly ever a real problem? What planet are you on?
I believe he means in causing a divorce in the parents.
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thats pretty funny
What's funny?
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What's funny?
just the last line about you being married/divorced twice and still being pro marriage struck me as funny no big deal
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...the human race would end (no children...are you serious?)
I like children, but i'm glad I don't have children. Too much trouble to raise children in this fucked up world. And it's getting worse, believe me. :(
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I love how I'm seeing so many posts about women using men for $$$. I can't even tell you how many men do exactly the same thing. I've had 2 men in my life that tried to sponge off me (no, didn't marry either one and no, neither were Mike >:() Hell the gym I go to has 4 men that I know personally and are living off women...that's just one gym.
I think you'd like this book. It's about the Palm Beach scene. Just came out.
http://www.amazon.com/Madness-Under-Royal-Palms-Behind/dp/1401322913/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1233176803&sr=8-1 (http://www.amazon.com/Madness-Under-Royal-Palms-Behind/dp/1401322913/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1233176803&sr=8-1)
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just the last line about you being married/divorced twice and still being pro marriage struck me as funny no big deal
Eh, you can't hold a whole gender responsible for a few bad experiences. ;)
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Eh, you can't hold a whole gender responsible for a few bad experiences. ;)
I don't think (most) people are holding a gender responsible as they are the institution of marriage itself.first off it's just another religious tool to conform people to certain ideas and ways of life.second it lets the state be a third party in your affairs.and third the idea of people spending there intire life together goes against some biology studies on humans.Humans don't mate for life.hence divorce rates(cheating)and all that goes with it. it's in our genetic makeup to spread our seed
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I have seen numerous successfull,happy,confident men become a shell of there former self after getting married.and eventually getting divorced.worst decision a man can make?I think so...
I second that.
Divorce is one of the greatest inventions known to man next to pumpkin pie and a fresh clean shaven pussy.
TBH.
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I second that.
Divorce is one of the greatest inventions known to man next to pumpkin pie and a fresh clean shaven pussy.
TBH.
;D
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No doubt. In most cases, marriage is only beneficial to the woman.
To those who have earned their "life" or lifestyle, and have something to lose......DO NOT MARRY. Too many men have lost their balls, and their savings to a money hungry whore, just cause she lived in your house and fucked you every other day.
Even to those with nothing to lose (usually young men), don't do it. I personally do not know of ONE happily married couple. But know of PLENTY miserable ones. What does that tell you? Marriage is an outdated concept, that needs to die off.
Living with another human being, who has their owns thoughts, their own opinions and their own agendas and interests, and to top it off, hormonal problems, is the hardest thing to do.
Excellent, brother gordiano. Good post, HOWEVER I don't agree with you on one thing...
Married couples don't fuck. Ever. 99.9% of married dudes I know tell me they haven't had sex with their wives in years nor have a slight interest to. When I was married my relationship was so bad I didn't sleep with mine for 3 years. 3. Married 4.
Sad but true.
Now that I'm divorced I have never been happier and it isn't due to the pussy plowing agenda of mine. It's for the mere fact that I can have my own thoughts and opinions without ever having to be put on trial for it.
TBH.
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;D
..oh, let's not forget about real anadrol tabs.
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I've only seen one happy marriage. My Uncle met my Aunt in Thailand during the Vietnam war. He lived there with her for ten years then brought Her to live in America. They moved to Florence, South Carolina. The middle of nowhere. They live there by themselves never had kids. She is his slave. They love each other. But she is his slave. She doesn't know any better. This is the old school mentality. The Man is the Boss. This is the only way there will ever be a succesful marriage in my opinion. You cannot keep any Women happy unless they're dumb and you keep them dumb.
She was happy in her own ignorance. I once had a Filipina woman tell me "What do I know, i am only a a Asian woman". She was married to some white dude who brought her over. But isn't that Asians are known for being smart...She just had that very submissive way about her, and that is why the dude got her...
Someday I want to be married. But, many of these females today are either Whore, Bitches, and very few are REAL Women. And by the time they are in their 30's...oh shit, it like going to a USED Car salesman...you don't know if the odometer has bee n turned back, or what, and beware of the Ferrari in the parking lot.
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Children are hardly ever a real problem? What planet are you on?
Do u actually have children? Or do you always judge things in life based on a TV show?
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Excellent, brother gordiano. Good post, HOWEVER I don't agree with you on one thing...
Married couples don't fuck. Ever. 99.9% of married dudes I know tell me they haven't had sex with their wives in years nor have a slight interest to. When I was married my relationship was so bad I didn't sleep with mine for 3 years. 3. Married 4.
Sad but true.
Now that I'm divorced I have never been happier and it isn't due to the pussy plowing agenda of mine. It's for the mere fact that I can have my own thoughts and opinions without ever having to be put on trial for it.
TBH.
My last long term relationship lasted 5 years. for the last 3.5 of those we never had sex and the last 18 months I NEVER touched her once or even kissed her once. We both preferred it that way. Funnily enough, it worked. She lived at my place for free going to university full time. She also took care of all the home duties, cleaning, cooking and shopping.... with my money off course. I also gave her a weekly allowance and paid most of her bills. We never really argued, but never really talked either. I wouldn't say she was like a surrogate mother, she just preferred doing her 'female duty' as she put it. As long as I did my 'male duty' by bringing home the bacon. I ended it because I thought there simply MUST be more to a relationship than just mutual symbiosis and co-existing in this strange loveless, passionless package that somehow 'worked'.
I wanted excitement and that head over heels passion a new girl can bring. Guess what, I've only found one girl after another. Lying, trying to get money out of me. I went to pick up this girl for a date once from her mom's house. She only brought out her suitcase with her and asked if she could stay with me for a few weeks since her asshole boyfriend keeps coming round to her house....
Sometimes I think I should try and get back with the ex to have a peaceful and comfortable home life again, and just agree that we both are allowed to have affairs, but not bring it home. Yes, fucked up, but that is the world we live in.
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I too have been thinking about this whole marriage thing. I have come to the conclusion that if I do get married it will be to a woman who is like my best friend and hot.
I think so many marriages fail because people marry the wrong person and for the wrong reasons.
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There will be no marriages in the near future. :)
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I too have been thinking about this whole marriage thing. I have come to the conclusion that if I do get married it will be to a woman who is like my best friend and hot.
I think so many marriages fail because people marry the wrong person and for the wrong reasons.
very true man, very true..i dont know people get married, i seriously cannot see myself having a wedding, i just want to have sex with various females..i dont want to think of kids, and house duties, and making sure shes happy, and working on the marriage, working extra hard to raise a family, have the wife talk shit to me...fuck that.
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very true man, very true..i dont know people get married, i seriously cannot see myself having a wedding, i just want to have sex with various females..i dont want to think of kids, and house duties, and making sure shes happy, and working on the marriage, working extra hard to raise a family, have the wife talk shit to me...fuck that.
I can tell you must be several years younger than me quicker, I am 27. When I was younger I thought the way you do but now as I get older the wife, house, dog, kids, seems kinda appealing. But like I said the thing is you really gotta find the right girl. IMO she should definately be attractive but you must be able to talk to her, respect her, and pretty much be best friends. One can never use too much caution when selecting a wife. Just have to think with your big head and be very picky BEFORE saying "I do." I believe good marriages are still possible if you can find the right woman and put in some due dilligence.
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I can tell you must be several years younger than me quicker, I am 27. When I was younger I thought the way you do but now as I get older the wife, house, dog, kids, seems kinda appealing. But like I said the thing is you really gotta find the right girl. IMO she should definately be attractive but you must be able to talk to her, respect her, and pretty much be best friends. One can never use too much caution when selecting a wife. Just have to think with your big head and be very picky BEFORE saying "I do." I believe good marriages are still possible if you can find the right woman and put in some due dilligence.
im 28 man, its all in your mind mate, you want this dream that has been built up in your mind, only for it to turn into a nightmare
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Quicker you definately always give me something to think about. No doubt about it.
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Quicker you definately always give me something to think about. No doubt about it.
i try help people and make em happy, i deal with married people daily, every day, it is not FUN, its another job, if you are single and u get laid off work you could take all the time off in the world if you wanted, but if you are married, the wife will never let that happen "what do you mean you got sacked" "we have to by our son books for school, and the car needs to be fixed, it keeps making that sound"..try catching up with your mates for a drink "where are you? when are you coming back? who are you with? fuck that
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i try help people and make em happy, i deal with married people daily, every day, it is not FUN, its another job, if you are single and u get laid off work you could take all the time off in the world if you wanted, but if you are married, the wife will never let that happen "what do you mean you got sacked" "we have to by our son books for school, and the car needs to be fixed, it keeps making that sound"..try catching up with your mates for a drink "where are you? when are you coming back? who are you with? fuck that
But that guy ur describing clearly married the wrong girl. What about the guy who marries his hot best friend? Or does the turn into the nagging bitch?
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But that guy ur describing clearly married the wrong girl. What about the guy who marries his hot best friend? Or does the turn into the nagging bitch?
what wrong girl??? if it was the wrong girl no one would marry the bitch, calfzilla, people change, men change and woman change even more, the right girl today is the the wrong slut tomorrow, its goes for both men and women, we all change, females and hormonal like a guy..you could meet the RIGHT girl today can you guarantee me she will stay that way in 2 years?
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what wrong girl??? if it was the wrong girl no one would marry the bitch, calfzilla, people change, men change and woman change even more, the right girl today is the the wrong slut tomorrow, its goes for both men and women, we all change, females and hormonal like a ####..you could meet the RIGHT girl today can you guarantee me she will stay that way in 2 years?
No sir. I'm calling my divorce lawyer first thing tomorrow morning to get him on a retainer. :(
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No sir. I'm calling my divorce lawyer first thing tomorrow morning to get him on a retainer. :(
hahahaHAHAH, look at all your ex girlfriends, why are you not with them?? they changed right, evolution is a guy, but in all seriousness, i would love to find the right girl and so do you but im not going to commit my whole energy towards it, i make a better casual dater than a husband.
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;D
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Normally I would come by and say some funny thing about the biggest handcuff for a man is a wedding ring. But honestly, if you have a good woman, one that means the world to you and you can see her being a big part of your future, then be smart and marry her. Make yourselves happy. I found someone that I laughed hard with, loved passionately and and could lose myself with. Needless to say I screwed up with her. Hopefully it's not completely over and I can get her back. Hopefully.
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The answer is: YES! And this is coming from a happily married man...
in the end, it hardly ever works to the man's benefit to get married.
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Have Anti-Father Family Court Policies Led to a Men's Marriage Strike?
July 9, 2002
by Glenn Sacks and Dianna Thompson
Kathleen is attractive, successful, witty, and educated. She also can't find a husband. Why? Because most of the men this thirty-something software analyst dates do not want to get married. These men have Peter Pan Syndrome--they refuse to commit, refuse to settle down, and refuse to "grow up."
However, given the family court policies and divorce trends of today, Peter Pan is no naive boy, but instead a wise man.
"Why should I get married and have kids when I could lose those kids and most of what I've worked for at a moment's notice?" asks Dan, a 31 year-old power plant technician who says he will never marry. "I've seen it happen to many of my friends. I know guys who came home one day to an empty house or apartment--wife gone, kids gone. They never saw it coming. Some of them were never able to see their kids regularly again."
The US marriage rate has dipped 40% over the past four decades, to its lowest point ever. There are many plausible explanations for this trend, but one of the least mentioned is that American men, in the face of a family court system which is hopelessly stacked against them, have subconsciously launched a "marriage strike."
It is not difficult to see why. Let's say that Dan defies Peter Pan, marries Kathleen, and has two children. There is a 50% likelihood that this marriage will end in divorce within eight years, and if it does the odds are two to one that it will be Kathleen, not Dan, who initiates the divorce. It may not matter that Dan was a decent husband--studies show that few divorces are initiated over abuse or because the man has already abandoned the family. Nor is adultery cited as a factor by divorcing women appreciably more than by divorcing men.
While the courts may grant Dan and Kathleen joint legal custody, the odds are overwhelming that it is Kathleen, not Dan, who will win physical custody. Over night Dan, accustomed to seeing his kids every day and being an integral part of their lives, will become a "14 percent dad"--a father who is allowed to spend only one out of every 7 days with his own children.
Once divorced, odds are at least even that Dan's ex-wife will interfere with his visitation rights. Three-quarters of divorced men surveyed say their ex-wives have interfered with their visitation, and 40% of mothers studied admitted that they had done so, and that they had generally acted out of spite or in order to punish their exes.
Kathleen will keep the house and most of the couple's assets. Dan will need to set up a new residence and pay at least a third of his take home pay to Kathleen in child support.
As bad as all of this is, it would still make Dan one of the lucky ones. After all, he could be one of those fathers who cannot see his children at all because his ex has made a false accusation of domestic violence, child abuse, or child molestation. Or a father who can only see his own children under supervised visitation or in nightmarish visitation centers where dads are treated like criminals.
He could be one of those fathers whose ex has moved their children hundreds or thousands of miles away, in violation of court orders which courts often do not enforce. He could be one of those fathers who tears up his life and career again and again in order to follow his children, only to have his ex-wife continually move them.
He could be one of the fathers who has lost his job, seen his income drop, or suffered a disabling injury, only to have child support arrearages and interest pile up to create a mountain of debt which he could never hope to pay off. Or a father who is forced to pay 70% or 80% of his income in child support because the court has imputed an unrealistic income to him. Or a dad who suffers from one of the child support enforcement system's endless and difficult to correct errors, or who is jailed because he cannot keep up with his payments. Or a dad who reaches old age impoverished because he lost everything he had in a divorce when he was middle-aged and did not have the time and the opportunity to earn it back.
"It's a shame," Dan says. "I always wanted to be a father and have a family. But unless the laws change and give fathers the same right to be a part of their children's lives as mothers have, it just isn't worth the risk."
This column first appeared in the Philadelphia Inquirer (7/5/02)
Glenn Sacks writes about gender issues from the male perspective. His columns have appeared in the Chicago Tribune, the Los Angeles Times, Newsday, the Houston Chronicle, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Philadelphia Inquirer, the San Diego Union-Tribune, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the Los Angeles Daily News, the Washington Times and others. He invites readers to visit his website at www.GlennSacks.com.
Dianna Thompson is director of the Second Wives Crusade and executive director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children.
http://www.ifeminists.net/introduction/editorials/2002/0709a.html
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The National Center for Health Statistics reports that from 1975 to 1988 in the US, in families with children present, wives file for divorce in approximately two-thirds of cases. In 1975, 71.4% of the cases were filed by women, and in 1988, 65% were filed by women.[1]
According to a study published in the American Law and Economics Review, women currently file slightly more than two-thirds of divorce cases in the US.[2]There is some variation among states, and the numbers have also varied over time, with about 60% of filings by women in most of the 19th century, and over 70% by women in some states just after no-fault divorce was introduced, according to the paper. Evidence is given that among college-educated couples, the percentages of divorces initiated by women is approximately 90%.
In their study titled "Child Custody Policies and Divorce Rates in the US," Kuhn and Guidubaldi find it reasonable to conclude that women anticipate advantages to being single, rather than remaining married.[3]
When women anticipate a clear gender bias the courts regarding custody, they expect to be the primary residential parent for the children and the resulting financial child support, maintaining the marital residence, receiving half of all marital property, and gaining total freedom to establish new social relationships. In their detailed analysis of divorce rates, Kuhn and Guidubaldi conclude that acceptance of joint physical custody may reduce divorce. States whose family law policies, statutes, or judicial practice encourage joint custody have shown a greater decline in their divorce rates than those that favor sole custody.
1. "Advance Report of Final Divorce Statistics, 1988" (PDF) (1991-05-21). Monthly Vital Statistice Report 39 (12 (supplement 2)).
2. Brinig, Margaret; Douglas W. Allen (2000). "These Boots Are Made for Walking: Why Most Divorce Filers are Women". American Law and Economics Review 2 (1): 126–129.
3. Kuhn, Richard; John Guidubaldi (1997-10-23). "Child Custody Policies and Divorce Rates in the US". 11th Annual Conference of the Children's Rights Council. Retrieved on 2006-09-18.
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But that guy ur describing clearly married the wrong girl. What about the guy who marries his hot best friend? Or does the turn into the nagging bitch?
Women tend not to date nor marry, the best friend (male friend) he's there for a reason, a girlfriend with a penis. Now, becoming best friends is another reason.
Women always nag, it's in their nature, they are nuturers by nature, so making sure you have taking care of the "essentials" is essential for them but the "nagging bitch" I believe is what many (not all) become.
I have always been told I would make a good husband, and blah, blah, blah. But at 32, I'm increasing seeing more women with tons more baggage, and I feel that it's unfair for me as a man to sort thru all of that. Erykah Badu had a song called Bag Lady, and I see tons of them, I deal with them on a daily basis.
For me its really confusing, we wnat that special woman, but it seems like she is more of a mirage than anything else. Doc would kill me for saying, I wanna settle down with one. But that has always been my mentality.
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A marriage is a job that takes two. If one is working hard at it...it's going to fail. The trick is knowing if your mate is a hard worker, or just a slug. ;) It works both ways.
I agree that women romanticise weddings/marriage. But I don't agree about how men look at it. I think men look at marriage in fear of what they will lose (money, freedom, other women, etc).
It's sad, because you should get married knowing that you WANT to spend the rest of your life with this person and only this person and that NO ONE else in the world makes you as comfortable and happy and whom you can always count on no matter what the circumstances. Seems now people get married without really considering those things.
Even when the two people get along great...it's still work. The trick is enjoy it. People are constantly growing and experiencing new things. For some marriages it's an easy process, for others...not so easy. But if you think it isn't work that "makes it work", you are sadly mistaken. But that is just my opinion and experience as I have done it twice already. ;)
We're not married Techno, but we've been together 4 wonderful years. :D
Hi Laura Lee! I appreciate your input here, and I mean no disrespect! But what exactly are you defending here? Marriage? How can you defend marriage when you have been divorced twice, and the man who you've been living with for the past four years, the man whom you love and who loves you back, is not your husband?
Not that this is any of my business. It's your life and you do with it as you want to. But if anything, this only supports big L dawg's point that marriage is not the way to go, and discourages anybody here who has doubts about getting married, and encourages anybody here who might be contemplating divorce.
If you are really pro-marriage, then why not marry the man whom you love and who loves you back, and since you already found him and are happy with him? Otherwise, why defend marriage here?
This is a great thread, by the way! ;D
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After 4 years.... it it ain't broke, don't fix it. :)
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After 4 years.... it it ain't broke, don't fix it. :)
Like I said, people are free to do what they want to. It is none of my business. But then why defend marriage here? This actually defends cohabitation, without marriage. This actually proves big L dawg's point that marriage is not the way to go, at least in this case.
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Like I said, people are free to do what they want to. It is none of my business. But then why defend marriage here? This actually defends cohabitation, without marriage. This actually proves big L dawg's point that marriage is not the way to go, at least in this case.
People are defending the fantasy, not marriage itself.
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bump 4 the fact it's still the dumbest thing a man can do.....were would tiger be had he not got married...
still on top of the world thats were...instead he's hiding out worse than osama and the taliban...
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I'm currently married and... to be honest with you... I'm not entirely convinced a marriage is the best emotional contract between a man and a woman.
As we age men's indifference goes up exponentially (apart from sports and some other things) while most women become control freaks.
On the one hand I have a friend who's never gotten married and is into doing these weird group things like reading poetry in bars and stuff like that. I also have a friend at work who recently got divorced and the guy looks like he took 15 years off and is having the time of his life. BOTH look and sound happy though.
On the other hand I've got my married friends... with our pathetic "Did you put up the Christmas decorations?" and how to clean the gutters conversations.
And the fact that women don't find out what the clitoris is for until they're 50 is also a shame, as the sex life definitely takes a dive.
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I'm currently married and... to be honest with you... I'm not entirely convinced a marriage is the best emotional contract between a man and a woman.
As we age men's indifference goes up exponentially (apart from sports and some other things) while most women become control freaks.
On the one hand I have a friend who's never gotten married and is into doing these weird group things like reading poetry in bars and stuff like that. I also have a friend at work who recently got divorced and the guy looks like he took 15 years off and is having the time of his life. BOTH look and sound happy though.
On the other hand I've got my married friends... with our pathetic "Did you put up the Christmas decorations?" and how to clean the gutters conversations.
And the fact that women don't find out what the clitoris is for until they're 50 is also a shame, as the sex life definitely takes a dive.
hows the married sex life???
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I'm currently married and... to be honest with you... I'm not entirely convinced a marriage is the best emotional contract between a man and a woman.
As we age men's indifference goes up exponentially (apart from sports and some other things) while most women become control freaks.
On the one hand I have a friend who's never gotten married and is into doing these weird group things like reading poetry in bars and stuff like that. I also have a friend at work who recently got divorced and the guy looks like he took 15 years off and is having the time of his life. BOTH look and sound happy though.
On the other hand I've got my married friends... with our pathetic "Did you put up the Christmas decorations?" and how to clean the gutters conversations.
And the fact that women don't find out what the clitoris is for until they're 50 is also a shame, as the sex life definitely takes a dive.
what you are feeling are your natural genetic predisposition-ed urges to spread your seed...It's ingrained in your DNA.even if you have kids and had a vasectomy and don't want or plan to have any more...the uneasy feeling you have is your body's primal scream for freedom...you are likely not an alpha male if you have let your wife keep you in a box and must get into arguments simply to go out with friends....don't feel bad some men are meant to be told what to do & how to live there lives by a female...these men usually have abnormally low testosterone & self esteem.and are without a "backbone" if you will...If you are one of these men my condolence's....
Ps sorry 4 the repost dude just figuered you would get more out of this thread....also I'm not flaming you in the above post just callin it like it is...best of luck bro....
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what you are feeling are your natural genetic predisposition-ed urges to spread your seed...It's ingrained in your DNA.even if you have kids and had a vasectomy and don't want or plan to have any more...the uneasy feeling you have is your body's primal scream for freedom...you are likely not an alpha male if you have let your wife keep you in a box and must get into arguments simply to go out with friends....don't feel bad some men are meant to be told what to do & how to live there lives by a female...these men usually have abnormally low testosterone & self esteem.and are without a "backbone" if you will...If you are one of these men my condolence's....
Ps sorry 4 the repost dude just figuered you would get more out of this thread....also I'm not flaming you in the above post just callin it like it is...best of luck bro....
Big L dawg have u been married?
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hows the married sex life???
Virtually nonexistant.
And that applies to about 85% of married couples.
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Big L dawg have u been married?
Big L dawg doesn't get married.
He pimps life.
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Virtually nonexistant.
And that applies to about 85% of married couples.
hold on, so if im in bed with my wife and my dick gets hard and i wanna fuck the odds of me sexing her is low?????
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Big L dawg have u been married?
nope...had a few girls ask me & have been in a long term relationship 4 quite a while.but I let a hoe know from the jump marriage ain't for me....All it does is make the state a third party in your affairs & it never works out financially for the male regardless as to wether you divorce or not....It's a government & religious program designed to get people to conform & obey..which in turn makes them easier to manipulate....
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what you are feeling are your natural genetic predisposition-ed urges to spread your seed...It's ingrained in your DNA.even if you have kids and had a vasectomy and don't want or plan to have any more...the uneasy feeling you have is your body's primal scream for freedom...you are likely not an alpha male if you have let your wife keep you in a box and must get into arguments simply to go out with friends....don't feel bad some men are meant to be told what to do & how to live there lives by a female...these men usually have abnormally low testosterone & self esteem.and are without a "backbone" if you will...If you are one of these men my condolence's....
I hear ya. But you lost me with the testosterone and alpha male talk... The control issue is something that gets proggressively worse, it creeps up on you when you least expect it. All of a sudden you find yourself doing things you wouldn't ordinarilly do, like hanging out with people who owe you money and have no problem expressing their hate towards you, only to get away with it because they're related to your wife. Some of these alpha males find out when they have the first talk with their lawyer.
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nope...had a few girls ask me & have been in a long term relationship 4 quite a while.but I let a hoe know from the jump marriage ain't for me....All it does is make the state a third party in your affairs & it never works out financially for the male regardless as to wether you divorce or not....It's a government & religious program designed to get people to conform & obey..which in turn makes them easier to manipulate....
Im in Australia, i was reseaching ways of winning financially if i got married and divorced...i cant..trust accounts dont work and they trace every penny that leave ur account.
i like many other getbiggers owns a few properties and have a profitable business, i dont want to risk it
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I hear ya. But you lost me with the testosterone and alpha male talk... The control issue is something that gets proggressively worse, it creeps up on you when you least expect it. All of a sudden you find yourself doing things you wouldn't ordinarilly do, like hanging out with people who owe you money and have no problem expressing their hate towards you, only to get away with it because they're related to your wife. Some of these alpha males find out when they have the first talk with their lawyer.
To put it in perspective an Alpha male that was face to face with someone that was not only disrespecting him but owed him money would not & could not just turn the other cheek regardless as to whom this said person was related to.....Once again not flaming bro but it sounds to me like your balls have been clipped....
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Im in Australia, i was reseaching ways of winning financially if i got married and divorced...i cant..trust accounts dont work and they trace every penny that leave ur account.
i like many other getbiggers owns a few properties and have a profitable business, i dont want to risk it
don't risk it dude...no bitch is worth your financial well being...
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Marriage is a contract. If you get divorced, unless you signed a prenup, everything gets split if half regardless. So... knowing that this contract is to benefit that party that does the least (precisely because everything gets split in half any way)... is it any wander women are always looking for Prince Charming loaded with money? I mean, I have nothing against women. I'd call the play exactly the same way were the odds heavily in favor of the male.
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To put it in perspective an Alpha male that was face to face with someone that was not only disrespecting him but owed him money would not & could not just turn the other cheek regardless as to whom this said person was related to.....Once again not flaming bro but it sounds to me like your balls have been clipped....
Dude, to me getting violent is not an option. I do not want to go to jail. An Alpha Male in jail gets the same anal treatment as the Beta Male: Big rod up the ass a few times a day.
If getting violent is what YOU like maybe fighting is not what you're really after... maybe you just want a big Alpha dick up your arse. You just don't know it yet.
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Marriage is a contract. If you get divorced, unless you signed a prenup, everything gets split if half regardless. So... knowing that this contract is to benefit that party that does the least (precisely because everything gets split in half any way)... is it any wander women are always looking for Prince Charming loaded with money? I mean, I have nothing against women. I'd call the play exactly the same way were the odds heavily in favor of the male.
Not sure how it works here in OZ
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Not sure how it works here in OZ
Where's OZ?
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Where's OZ?
hahaha the wizard of Oz...Australia
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hahaha the wizard of Oz...Australia
Oh, I'm pretty sure it works in a similar way.
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marriage just isn't in the cards for some people......myself included......my parents have been married for 40 years....so i know marriage can last and be good..but not for everyone...
bench
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Virtually nonexistant.
And that applies to about 85% of married couples.
I really don't think this is even close to accurate unless they are quite elderly.
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Marriage is a contract. If you get divorced, unless you signed a prenup, everything gets split if half regardless.
Do you live in CA?
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marriage just isn't in the cards for some people......myself included......my parents have been married for 40 years....so i know marriage can last and be good..but not for everyone...
bench
very true
the sad part is many people aren't marriage material and they don't even realize it
they just get married because that's what we're told to do the moment we learn to talk
E
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I really don't think this is even close to accurate unless they are quite elderly.
pics or it never happened ::) ........
;D
bench
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up untill i proposed to my girl i ws a drunk....a druggie ...a partier...
after...i've gotton my shit together and am actually on top of my game...
before i never had a reason to succeed enough to make great $...i just needed enough for alkie and blow....now i do have a reason :)
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I really don't think this is even close to accurate unless they are quite elderly.
Yes, I am exagerating a bit.
;) ;)
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Do you live in CA?
No, NY.
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up untill i proposed to my girl i ws a drunk....a druggie ...a partier...
after...i've gotton my shit together and am actually on top of my game...
before i never had a reason to succeed enough to make great $...i just needed enough for alkie and blow....now i do have a reason :)
Yes, maybe you're one of the lucky ones.
Of all the males I work with (about 20) 7 are divorced (5 stayed single), 2 have gone through 1-3 marriages and the rest are single still, even though half of them are the "marrying age". Same with the ladies I work with.
Marriage is definitely not the same it used to be.
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Marriage is definitely not the same it used to be.
my girls old fashioned...shes always cooked for me...done my laundry...stood by me...
its goes beyond sex for us...i cant imagine not talking to her everyday or bothering the shit out of her everyday :)
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Dude, to me getting violent is not an option. I do not want to go to jail. An Alpha Male in jail gets the same anal treatment as the Beta Male: Big rod up the ass a few times a day.
If getting violent is what YOU like maybe fighting is not what you're really after... maybe you just want a big Alpha dick up your arse. You just don't know it yet.
calm down lil buddy....please....show me were I said anything about getting violent....you can stand up for yourself & be a man without getting violent....from your utter lack of ability to address someone that owes you $ & disrespects you, to your complete inability to take constructive criticism without getting your panties in a bunch(and puting words in my mouth),& for lashing out at me for your short comings basically proves my point....you are indeed more bitch than man....don't get a divorce dude...you should stay on the porch were pups like you belong....
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Yes.
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calm down lil buddy....please....show me were I said anything about getting violent....you can stand up for yourself & be a man without getting violent....from your utter lack of ability to address someone that owes you $ & disrespects you, to your complete inability to take constructive criticism without getting your panties in a bunch(and puting words in my mouth),& for lashing out at me for your short comings basically proves my point....you are indeed more bitch than man....don't get a divorce dude...you should stay on the porch were pups like you belong....
Oh, I wouldn't call that lashing out. If that were my intention then rest assured, right now, you'd be in a fetal position looking for your mother's tit.
What I'm talking about is marriage, not an ego battle. I'm not interested in that alpha male vs. beta male crap. If that's all you've got then maybe you should be talking about breeding dogs and wolves and stuff like that. If not, then let me reiterate to you that all the stuff that you do not expect from your female, the controlling behaviour, the avoidance of arguments, et cetera, creeps up on you. You never see this coming. Of course you have arguments with those family members that dislike you, that goes without saying (and you stop giving them money). The fact of the matter is that you start doing things on the "just do it for me honey" premise. Eventually you're putting up with some serious crap.
That's all dude.
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pics or it never happened ::) ........
;D
bench
:P
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IMHO the thread ought to be retitled to "Getting married..Dumbest thing a man and a woman can do?".
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If getting married is the dumbest thing to do then ponder this: I am single and very unhappy with life; so if I were to get married it would either make me happy or drive me to suicide.
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If getting married is the dumbest thing to do then ponder this: I am single and very unhappy with life; so if I were to get married it would either make me happy or drive me to suicide.
If that is the case then you need to contact a psychologist. Marriage ain't gonna do it.
Believe me, just because most of your friends got married doesn't mean 85% of them made the wrong decision in life.
100% of married couples wished they were single at one or more points during their marriage.
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Oh, I wouldn't call that lashing out. If that were my intention then rest assured, right now, you'd be in a fetal position looking for your mother's tit.
ha ha...yea OK man....thats a start i guess....
What I'm talking about is marriage, not an ego battle. I'm not interested in that alpha male vs. beta male crap. If that's all you've got then maybe you should be talking about breeding dogs and wolves and stuff like that. If not, then let me reiterate to you that all the stuff that you do not expect from your female, the controlling behaviour, the avoidance of arguments, et cetera, creeps up on you. You never see this coming. Of course you have arguments with those family members that dislike you, that goes without saying (and you stop giving them money). The fact of the matter is that you start doing things on the "just do it for me honey" premise. Eventually you're putting up with some serious crap.
That's all dude.
I hear ya man and if you wanna continue being a submissive lap dog for your wife thats your prerogative...It's your life...You can tell yourself whatever you want to get threw the day & help you sleep at night....
your original post's sounded as if you needed some advice & or constructive criticism...but now that I see you just become defensive I think now you were just looking for someone to pat you on the back and tell you it will be OK.....so....it will be OK lil buddy....& I will end this conversation wishing you the best of luck....
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ha ha...yea OK man....thats a start i guess....
I hear ya man and if you wanna continue being a submissive lap dog for your wife thats your prerogative...It's your life...You can tell yourself whatever you want to get threw the day & help you sleep at night....
your original post's sounded as if you needed some advice & or constructive criticism...but now that I see you just become defensive I think now you were just looking for someone to pat you on the back and tell you it will be OK.....so....it will be OK lil buddy....& I will end this conversation wishing you the best of luck....
Come on dawg! Don't take it like that. Of course I appreciate your input! It's the delivery I'm trying to get used to.
I guess I've become a little passive and outsourced some of my control to my female... Which she's now using against me. It's all about little truces now. Eg: You put up with "Y" during Christmas and I promise you "X".
I guess you're right... in a way... It ought to be: "Y" ain't coming into my house and that's that.
Agreed.
Preach, brother, preach!
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If getting married is the dumbest thing to do then ponder this: I am single and very unhappy with life; so if I were to get married it would either make me happy or drive me to suicide.
you need to concentrate on other areas of your life zilla, many of my friends were like me, hitting on girls, training 5 days a week, joking around, positive about life then they got married and now they are really unhappy.
4 out of 5 are on the verge of a breakdown, the other dude got the perfect girl, really sweet, polite, nice, she appreciates her husband and the things he does for her, to find a girl like that is hard zilla but hopefully you do, actually hopefully we all do.
these 4 other guys are run by there wives, there wives pick who comes over for there husbands bday party, the guy has no say.
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you need to concentrate on other areas of your life zilla, many of my friends were like me, hitting on girls, training 5 days a week, joking around, positive about life then they got married and now they are really unhappy.
4 out of 5 are on the verge of a breakdown, the other dude got the perfect girl, really sweet, polite, nice, she appreciates her husband and the things he does for her, to find a girl like that is hard zilla but hopefully you do, actually hopefully we all do.
these 4 other guys are run by there wives, there wives pick who comes over for there husbands bday party, the guy has no say.
I gotta thank my friends who are in long term relationships/engaged/married. They have shown me beyond any shadow of a doubt that being with one chick is the stupidest thing a guy can do.
One of my mates was a pussy pulling machine. 5 one nights stands in 12 days. A record amongst my group. Now hes been with this chick for 2+ years and he is a broken man. He has no confidence anymore. His body language and persona has totally changed so now he constantly looks depressed. I hit him up about it one day and told him he needs to lose the chick..... surprise surprise he told me he is happier than he has ever been ::) I'm looking forward to a big 'I told you so' some day :D
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I gotta thank my friends who are in long term relationships/engaged/married. They have shown me beyond any shadow of a doubt that being with one chick is the stupidest thing a guy can do.
One of my mates was a pussy pulling machine. 5 one nights stands in 12 days. A record amongst my group. Now hes been with this chick for 2+ years and he is a broken man. He has no confidence anymore. His body language and persona has totally changed so now he constantly looks depressed. I hit him up about it one day and told him he needs to lose the chick..... surprise surprise he told me he is happier than he has ever been ::) I'm looking forward to a big 'I told you so' some day :D
I had a mate who matched that or maybe even beat it, but became a junkie, he 4 girls in one outing, and im sure he got 2 girls the next night, guy was the biggest pussy pulling machine i have even known, poor dude.
your mates a fucking loser, he should be running shit, he should be a real man and put his foot down, whats up with guys today??? they literally will give up happiness to live with a girl.
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Off the top of my head, NONE of my friends are married.
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Off the top of my head, NONE of my friends are married.
there either very smart or very ugly...haahaahaha whatever you do i hope its for the best, but remember people change, nice one year, satan the next..females especially (no sexist)
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there either very smart or very poor...haahaahaha whatever you do i hope its for the best, but remember people change, nice one year, satan the next..females especially (no sexist)
fixed
E
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fixed
E
nah there are plenty of rich lonely guys out there
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nah there are plenty of rich lonely guys out there
i think there are more good looking lonely guys
must be very shy
E
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Some good points and wisdom in this post.
I agree with many of you.
There is NO benefit for men in marriage, EVER.
Never once in my life seen real happy couple, NEVER.
Seen tons of miserable ones including my parent and all of my relatives and friends.
Happy marriage is like a ghost that everyone talks about it yet NO ONE HAS SEEN IT!
I know there are happily married few.
I'm happy for them however not everyone is winning lottery.
The worst thing a man can do is getting married or having a child.
Again, I have to emphasize on this one that THERE IS NO BENEFIT FOR MEN IN MARRIAGE, NEVER, EVER, PERIOD!
LOL....I'll have to use that line.....
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By all means marry! If you get a bad wide you will become a phylosopher which is not bat either
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The way I see it, there are at least 5 mistakes that usually spell DOOM to a marriage:
Mistake #1 - Shacking up. From what I've seen personally (and a few studies here and there), folks who shack up first are more likely to end up divorce than those who don't.
Mistake #2 - (Lack of) Marriage Counseling. I've often used the analogy this way: Marriage is to dating/having a girlfriend as winning the Super Bowl is to winning the NFC/AFC championship. The expectations go way up. It's a whole different level. That's why it's important to get marriage counseling. You have to know what the expectations are, for yourself and for your spouse. Some churches offer marriage counseling (in fact, some require it, before they'll perform the ceremony). The problem is that it's easily circumvented.
I don't know if there is a non-religious form of marriage counseling (for our non-Christians folks here; maybe some of these "humanist centers" provide something to that effect); but, preparation for what should be the biggest step in your life puts you on the inside track to a successful marriage.
Mistake #3 - Unrealistic expectations. You aren't Superman; your wife-to-be ain't Wonder Woman. Too many people have skeletons in their closet and jacked up homes and problems. They expect their wives/husbands to deliver them from the demons of the past. And when they can't, it's divorce time. As one pastor said so eloquently, "If you don't bring happiness into a marriage, you will not get happiness in a marriage". Contrary to that corny like in "Jerry Macquire", you can't complete your wife and your wife can't complete you.
Mistake #4 - Lack of Forgiveness and Humility. Sometimes, you'll be right and sometimes, you'll be wrong. Don't lord your wife's mistakes over her, because Lord knows you won't like it, if she does the same to you (when you screw up). If you're going to forgive her, then do just that: Forgive her and move forward.
Mistake #5: Financial irresponsibilty. Call me old-fashioned. But, I still believe the husband is the leader of the home and it is HIS responsibility to take care of his family (whether his wife works or not). And, the key word is LEADER, not tyrant, not overlord. With that said, making financial decisions, without your wife's counsel, is just plain DUMB. I know personally, I've saved myself a lot of headache, by listening to my wife's advice, before making certain decisions. You may not always agree. But, it's about working together. My wife has not worked full-time in over 5 years (partially, because we have 4-year old daughter). She wants to be home with her; and I want my baby girl to be with her mother, NOT at a day care center.
If both wife and husband work, the goal should be to make that you can live comfortably on ONE salary. If it takes both salaries to get by, chances are you are living WAY beyond your means, a potentially DEADLY scenario (especially in this economy).
That's my take on the situation. If you look at some failed marriages, more often than not, the issues I've listed are part of the reason those nuptials have gone south.
Edit - There's also that phrase, "You can't make a 'ho' a housewife". Sometimes, we guys make HORRIBLE choices for girlfriends. If you can't bring her home to Mom and Dad, if you can't see spending the next 50 years with her, if you can't see her being the mother of your children or representing you by carrying YOUR LAST NAME, if something tells you that she isn't wifey material.....END THE RELATIONSHIP (I don't care how round her booty is, or how huge her breastists be). As it says in Proverbs, "Charm is deceitful; and beauty is fleeting". You get a girl with a flawed character and destructive nature, and you'll be utterly MISERABLE, no matter how fine she is.
An excellent post and dead on balls accurate.
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Come on dawg! Don't take it like that. Of course I appreciate your input! It's the delivery I'm trying to get used to.
I guess I've become a little passive and outsourced some of my control to my female... Which she's now using against me. It's all about little truces now. Eg: You put up with "Y" during Christmas and I promise you "X".
I guess you're right... in a way... It ought to be: "Y" ain't coming into my house and that's that.
Agreed.
Preach, brother, preach!
You see this is rule # 1...What happen to the friendship in a marriage, or before it? One shouldn't be dealing with mini-truces, mini-truces, means mini-wars, or one is doing it so that a war will not break out.
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One of my mates was a pussy pulling machine. 5 one nights stands in 12 days. A record amongst my group. Now hes been with this chick for 2+ years and he is a broken man. He has no confidence anymore. His body language and persona has totally changed so now he constantly looks depressed. I hit him up about it one day and told him he needs to lose the chick..... surprise surprise he told me he is happier than he has ever been ::) I'm looking forward to a big 'I told you so' some day :D
He's doing what he thinks is expected of him. He would need to get married and divorced in order for it to clear his mind that it is bullshit.
While i think marriage is bullshit, i have some good friends now who are Mormans and obviously they are all still together. I always have a great time when i hang out with them so who knows maybe they have it right? Apart from the whole believing in God bullshit. Shame, his sister is pretty good ;)
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great thread, today's woman aren't worth marrying anymore, it use to make sense to get married, woman would clean the house, take care of kids if you had them, always have a nice hot meal when you got home, now days, that shit is gone, and the only thing the bring to the table is sex, and that is hardly worth sneezing at since you can count on a year or so after you get married she will ballon up and you won't really be wanting to flop around with a walrus anymore.
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I love how I'm seeing so many posts about women using men for $$$. I can't even tell you how many men do exactly the same thing. I've had 2 men in my life that tried to sponge off me (no, didn't marry either one and no, neither were Mike >:() Hell the gym I go to has 4 men that I know personally and are living off women...that's just one gym. So that line goes both ways...and those are bad people (IMO). Obviously not every relationship is going to be "the one". We go through trials and tribulations but some get very lucky and find the right one. The one who walks with us, not in front of us or behind us. Some people just rush into things. I've done it. Thought it was what I wanted...who I wanted but things changed. My first marriage ended because I grew up and he didn't. The second one ended because he "thought" the grass was green on the other side (had an affair with a 20 yr old...we were both 40). He thought he could relive his youth with her and left me only to have her dump him right after. She was one of those bad people and he found out the grass wasn't green on that side.
It all comes down to the individual, not the gender.
And to Steel-Lucifuge...if the guys follow your rule...the human race would end (no children...are you serious?)
wow that is just tragic I tell ya, and the remaining 196 men who go to your gym have woman who are living off them, let's not pretend men are somehow living off women these days, just isn't happening, maybe below 5%. The other 95% are men who have women living off of them.
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I rather be alone even in my old age.
I don't even care if I could not get laid anymore.
Sex is the only thing women can offer and they use it like a weapon.
So fuck them if they don't want to sleep with me anymore.
I will never sign that contract of death/suicide (marriage) even if that means I will never get laid.
Fuck that shit.
hey bro don't worry i hear whores will always agree
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I guess my question to the more cynical guys is this...
Are you going to be happy when you're old and alone? I mean, I can see how much fun it is to be single and young, but there's not much of a "young hot ass" market for the over-55 set...
not everybody needs to feel loved or around a woman 24/7 man, you can be happy, happy with yourself, really you should be happy with just yourself first, then move on to finding a woman, because relying on woman for happiness is disaster. Just get whores if you get old and don't want to fuck with the old bitches.
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I guess I'm going against all advice here and getting married to my girlfriend of 9 years this coming summer. Her parents are very wealthy and bought us a house which is on HER name so I'm not losing any money if everything fucks up. I have an apartment I bought with my own money which is on my brother's name ... just in case. I mean, I've known her for close to 15 years and been with her for 9, but you NEVER truly know them 100% hence the fact I'm walking into this with my eyes wide open. I'm happy to commit to a life with her but I'm ready to land on my feet and some broad's fanny if it does work out.
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Well, there's a saying that goes, Before you criticize your wife's fault, remember that it was those faults that kept her from finding a better husband.
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My last long term relationship lasted 5 years. for the last 3.5 of those we never had sex and the last 18 months I NEVER touched her once or even kissed her once. We both preferred it that way. Funnily enough, it worked. She lived at my place for free going to university full time. She also took care of all the home duties, cleaning, cooking and shopping.... with my money off course. I also gave her a weekly allowance and paid most of her bills. We never really argued, but never really talked either. I wouldn't say she was like a surrogate mother, she just preferred doing her 'female duty' as she put it. As long as I did my 'male duty' by bringing home the bacon. I ended it because I thought there simply MUST be more to a relationship than just mutual symbiosis and co-existing in this strange loveless, passionless package that somehow 'worked'.
I wanted excitement and that head over heels passion a new girl can bring. Guess what, I've only found one #### after another. Lying, trying to get money out of me. I went to pick up this girl for a date once from her mom's house. She only brought out her suitcase with her and asked if she could stay with me for a few weeks since her asshole boyfriend keeps coming round to her house....
Sometimes I think I should try and get back with the ex to have a peaceful and comfortable home life again, and just agree that we both are allowed to have affairs, but not bring it home. Yes, fucked up, but that is the world we live in.
Interesting story! :)
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great thread.. im approaching 30 and would love to be married..sick of this single shit..however ill wait till im 40 if i had too..i have 3 rules i live by when it comes to women.
1) They must never lie to me, either outright or by omission of information.
2) They must never disrespect me in any way.
3) They must never take me for granted or mistreat me in any way.
I explain this to women early on (not on the first meeting, mind you, but when
it’s appropriate to educate them. If they break these rules, they’re out.
so far,,not one girl has passed these rules.
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great thread.. im approaching 30 and would love to be married..sick of this single shit..however ill wait till im 40 if i had too..i have 3 rules i live by when it comes to women.
1) They must never lie to me, either outright or by omission of information.
2) They must never disrespect me in any way.
3) They must never take me for granted or mistreat me in any way.
I explain this to women early on (not on the first meeting, mind you, but when
it’s appropriate to educate them. If they break these rules, they’re out.
so far,,not one girl has passed these rules.
today's woman are a different breed, disrespectful, sense of entitlement, good luck. You need a strong hand to keep them in line, just like Nasser has to do with Kuma sometimes.
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great thread.. im approaching 30 and would love to be married..sick of this single shit..however ill wait till im 40 if i had too..i have 3 rules i live by when it comes to women.
1) They must never lie to me, either outright or by omission of information.
2) They must never disrespect me in any way.
3) They must never take me for granted or mistreat me in any way.
I explain this to women early on (not on the first meeting, mind you, but when
it’s appropriate to educate them. If they break these rules, they’re out.
so far,,not one girl has passed these rules.
dude nobody can follow those rules forever
E
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naw..they're pretty simple rules..im naturally a 'nice' guy(which girls dont like)..so i have to put these in order to keep my respect. it comes down to dont cheat on me, and it demonstrates im an alpha male while still being able to controll my nice guy attitude. 99% percent of these bitches beg me back when i tell them to fuck off after breking my rules. if you cant follow those simple rules, ill find somebody who does
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i understand not tolerating cheating, but who doesn't lie or omit certain info to look better than they are?
nobody gets ahead by being 100% honest, it's the people that are great at bullshitting :)
the longer you are with somebody, sooner or later they'll do something that makes you feel disrespected or underappreciated
what's that saying "we only hurt the ones we love" ???
this is one reason why many are always single, too many unrealistic "rules" that nobody can live up to
E
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i understand not tolerating cheating, but who doesn't lie or omit certain info to look better than they are?
nobody gets ahead by being 100% honest, it's the people that are great at bullshitting :)
the longer you are with somebody, sooner or later they'll do something that makes you feel disrespected or underappreciated
what's that saying "we only hurt the ones we love" ???
this is one reason why many are always single, too many unrealistic "rules" that nobody can live up to
E
im not talking about simple lies of course..i mean major things.
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Possibly. Women need marriage much more than men because they value social relationships more than anything. This emotional thinking also makes them volatile people to live with because women don't think with logic or reasoning. If a woman feels she has to destroy a man's life or waste his money she will do it because her emotions will justify it to her. Her emotional thinking will lead her to feel like she is better and entitled, and things that don't go her way are wrong simply for annoying her. A man does not think like this.
Women also tend to be a lot more selfish than men. Men while not emotional are much more honest and tend to take loss of anything that was very important very seriously, while a woman can manage that better because if she loses her boyfriend, hell, she can just talk to some other guy or call up everyone on her phone book and complain for hours on end.
These differences are why men have written history and still push the human race forward everyday.
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It's not the dumbest thing a man can do.... as long as you pick the right one. ;)
I said no to North American women though, too high maintenance, have no cooking skillz and they only care about themselves. I married a Filipina girl and all she cares about is family, working and taking care of me. ;D
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Most people are idiots and when you put two idiots in the same house and tell them to get along forever, it's not gonna work out at some point.
What's crazy to me is how many people get married once, then divorce....then do this several times during their lives. Fuckin' nuts!
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;D
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;D^^^^
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great thread.. im approaching 30 and would love to be married..sick of this single shit..however ill wait till im 40 if i had too..i have 3 rules i live by when it comes to women.
1) They must never lie to me, either outright or by omission of information.
2) They must never disrespect me in any way.
3) They must never take me for granted or mistreat me in any way.
I explain this to women early on (not on the first meeting, mind you, but when
it’s appropriate to educate them. If they break these rules, they’re out.
so far,,not one girl has passed these rules.
Good rules. I actually gave my now wife these rules before our first date. :)
Most kids in this topic complaining about women are themselves at fault for relationships not working out. Almost no guy has the balls to lay it all on the table right from the very start. They always have excuses for not doing this, but they all boil down to the same lame shit: "If I tell her that she'll leave right away -- and I can't get anything better...". If you are too pussified to tell a woman what you are about, then OF COURSE you will end up with one who will fuck you over. Pussies exist to be fucked over, and you've behaved like a pussy. Don't start crying now about getting fucked like one.
And yes, I told my wife what the deal was right at the very start of us seeing each other. Including, but not limited to:
- I will fuck guys if and when I want, but no other women. You will not, but you can bang other women (with me watching ;D)
- I will do whatever drug I want, whenever I want. But I will never push anything on you or endanger you otherwise (not even financially).
- I will never, ever father any children with you. Pregnancy will result in either a voluntary or an involuntary abortion.
- Anal.
You don't have to be a dick about it, but be a man and be honest. If a woman runs away during the butterfly stage when hearing this, she'll certainly bolt when the infatuation wears off.
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Why men should not marry.
All the older guys I know, guys that are 55 and older are telling me the same story; don't do it. It just turns to crap no matter what you do. They'd rather be independent. At best it's a tedious bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good measure. The problem is that when you're young, you just naturally fall into this mind set where your whole self image is based on how women regard you, and so you spend all your money and energy trying to make yourself acceptable to them. Then later in life the shine wears off and you finally realize that you've wasted yourself on a bunch of crap.
Children - "the ultimate human experience"
I couldn't even begin to list all of the older folks i know from work or through my family with kids they either don't get along with, are disappointed in, or are so distant as to not even be a factor in each other's lives.
I'm really skeptical about the idea of children as "the ultimate blessing." How many friends do you have with little or no meaningful contact or relationships with their parents?
I would wager the statistic for happy child/parent relations would be as bad, if not worse, than the marriage numbers. Who wants to deal with TWO bitter, unfulfilling relationships?!
Marriage is a sham for men. There is no benefit. If you are about to get married, think it over. Don't let your dick do your thinking for you. Don't let your punch-drunk I'm in love euphoria put you on auto-pilot. You will wake up in a hell of a hangover staring at this woman who will control your life.
A few years ago I went through a major depression over this until I started talking to all the older guys I knew...and they all said the same thing; "don't do it, it's shit. Even when it's not bad, it's shit". You end up being closely tied to an old woman. Think about that. I can go to Europe or the south seas tomorrow. If I was married I wouldn't have the money and I'd have to ask HER permission. Don't get married unless you are absolutely religiously in love with her. Like carry her sick aged body to the toilet and wipe her ass and be happy to do it kind of love.
What I'm saying is that human beings are nasty weak treacherous creatures that are for the most part totally untrustworthy. Experience is my basis for this statement, both mine and others who I know or who have written reliable histories. If you can find a woman to be your companion who is not treacherous, a deceitful little actress, a sly whore or a manipulative nag or a shrieking hag, then you are among the lucky few. Congratulations. I hope your luck continues to hold out.
Ok, assume that you will end up divorced and won't see your kids and lose half of your assets, how different is that from being married?
Most married guys I know are working their asses off to pay bills, rarely to get to spend time with their families, mediocre or no sex life, and have wives that spend as much of their money as absolutely possible.
My problem with marriage isn't a fear of divorce; it is that the whole thing sucks divorce or not.
What security is there for men in marriage?
If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my shit.
If she cheats on me, she still gets half my shit.
Why the fuck should i get married?
Fuck it man, it's easy to get depressed about not being married when we live in a society that constantly feeds us the image of the happy couple. It's one big lie. The happiest person alive is someone who isn't a prisoner dependent on another human being... We only have 80 or so years on this rock to achieve true freedom
Very few marriages last nowadays, and even guys older than me are telling me not to even think about it... It's a grossly overrated source of happiness. And for the 80% that do go through divorce, it will financially ruin you for life. Period. You can take your best 10 earning years from say, 35 to 45 and take all the wealth you would have accumulated and flush it down the toilet. Because it will go to her and her lawyer. If it happens naturally and it's good then great, good luck. But the worst thing is to force it, to make gross exertions and ignore all sorts of red lights going off just to be hooked up and "normal". Get some hobbies. Relax. Hang out. Enjoy. Take life as it comes.
As men, we all know that a woman's primary objective is to marry. After years of experience I've discovered their most commonly used strategy. here it is:
1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.
2. Guy delays.
3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating his friends.
4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something better than what he has.
5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing in the guy's life.
6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.
Then 5-10 years later the guy is an empty shell of his former self. Girl is a ruthless manipulating machine. Girl divorces loser husband. Girl takes 80% of guy's stuff because the guy is too brain dead to find a good lawyer. Girl lives happily ever after. Guy becomes bald alcoholic who dies of heart attack at 45 years old.
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Why men should not marry.
All the older guys I know, guys that are 55 and older are telling me the same story; don't do it. It just turns to crap no matter what you do. They'd rather be independent. At best it's a tedious bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good measure. The problem is that when you're young, you just naturally fall into this mind set where your whole self image is based on how women regard you, and so you spend all your money and energy trying to make yourself acceptable to them. Then later in life the shine wears off and you finally realize that you've wasted yourself on a bunch of crap.
Children - "the ultimate human experience"
I couldn't even begin to list all of the older folks i know from work or through my family with kids they either don't get along with, are disappointed in, or are so distant as to not even be a factor in each other's lives.
I'm really skeptical about the idea of children as "the ultimate blessing." How many friends do you have with little or no meaningful contact or relationships with their parents?
I would wager the statistic for happy child/parent relations would be as bad, if not worse, than the marriage numbers. Who wants to deal with TWO bitter, unfulfilling relationships?!
Marriage is a sham for men. There is no benefit. If you are about to get married, think it over. Don't let your dick do your thinking for you. Don't let your punch-drunk I'm in love euphoria put you on auto-pilot. You will wake up in a hell of a hangover staring at this woman who will control your life.
A few years ago I went through a major depression over this until I started talking to all the older guys I knew...and they all said the same thing; "don't do it, it's shit. Even when it's not bad, it's shit". You end up being closely tied to an old woman. Think about that. I can go to Europe or the south seas tomorrow. If I was married I wouldn't have the money and I'd have to ask HER permission. Don't get married unless you are absolutely religiously in love with her. Like carry her sick aged body to the toilet and wipe her ass and be happy to do it kind of love.
What I'm saying is that human beings are nasty weak treacherous creatures that are for the most part totally untrustworthy. Experience is my basis for this statement, both mine and others who I know or who have written reliable histories. If you can find a woman to be your companion who is not treacherous, a deceitful little actress, a sly whore or a manipulative nag or a shrieking hag, then you are among the lucky few. Congratulations. I hope your luck continues to hold out.
Ok, assume that you will end up divorced and won't see your kids and lose half of your assets, how different is that from being married?
Most married guys I know are working their asses off to pay bills, rarely to get to spend time with their families, mediocre or no sex life, and have wives that spend as much of their money as absolutely possible.
My problem with marriage isn't a fear of divorce; it is that the whole thing sucks divorce or not.
What security is there for men in marriage?
If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my shit.
If she cheats on me, she still gets half my shit.
Why the fuck should i get married?
Fuck it man, it's easy to get depressed about not being married when we live in a society that constantly feeds us the image of the happy couple. It's one big lie. The happiest person alive is someone who isn't a prisoner dependent on another human being... We only have 80 or so years on this rock to achieve true freedom
Very few marriages last nowadays, and even guys older than me are telling me not to even think about it... It's a grossly overrated source of happiness. And for the 80% that do go through divorce, it will financially ruin you for life. Period. You can take your best 10 earning years from say, 35 to 45 and take all the wealth you would have accumulated and flush it down the toilet. Because it will go to her and her lawyer. If it happens naturally and it's good then great, good luck. But the worst thing is to force it, to make gross exertions and ignore all sorts of red lights going off just to be hooked up and "normal". Get some hobbies. Relax. Hang out. Enjoy. Take life as it comes.
As men, we all know that a woman's primary objective is to marry. After years of experience I've discovered their most commonly used strategy. here it is:
1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.
2. Guy delays.
3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating his friends.
4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something better than what he has.
5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing in the guy's life.
6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.
Then 5-10 years later the guy is an empty shell of his former self. Girl is a ruthless manipulating machine. Girl divorces loser husband. Girl takes 80% of guy's stuff because the guy is too brain dead to find a good lawyer. Girl lives happily ever after. Guy becomes bald alcoholic who dies of heart attack at 45 years old.
where did u get that from? i have seen it before i think
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http://www.nomarriage.com/why_men_should_not_marry.html :)
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You guys WOULD NOT believe the shit I've just been through. I'm tired but will post the entire story within the next few days.
Word to the wise - you DO NOT have to be married to love and be with someone your entire life.
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You guys WOULD NOT believe the shit I've just been through. I'm tired but will post the entire story within the next few days.
Word to the wise - you DO NOT have to be married to love and be with someone your entire life.
bad breakup?
E
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were waiting................. .............
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I've been married four years (4th anniversary is actually tomorrow) and with her for over five years. We met during my junior year of college and fell for each other quickly - we dated for 3 months before becoming engaged. I fell in love almost instantly - this is the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It didn't take me long to figure out she was something very special; someone I would treasure forever. It sounds crazy, but I had dated enough people to know exactly what I wanted (and did not want). We planned our wedding shortly after college graduation and one of those huge, invited-absolutely-everyone weddings - over 500 people attended a lavish ceremony and reception. After the wedding, we packed our bags and moved from San Antonio, TX to Las Vegas. I got a good job fresh out of college and it was a great chance for us to bond away from friends and family. She found a good job shortly thereafter and both of us were making solid money. We had a nice little house, a dog...everything was peachy-keen. Right at our one year mark in Vegas, I was promoted within my company to Los Angeles. Although she had to give up her job and we took a step back regarding cost-of-living, we were both excited about a new adventure. After a couple of months in LA, I realized the new gig wasn't a very good fit. I left the company (a very good, well known company) after a couple of months and began working a different job with an old customer. After a couple of months, the guy couldn't afford me anymore (cash flow issues and an IRS tax penalty he didn't tell me about before taking the job) and I was out on the street. I found a decent-paying sales job and took acting classes at the Beverly Hills Playhouse. I had always wanted to give acting a shot, and LA was a total blast in general. My wife and I had saved up a good deal of cash when first moving out to LA, but the cost of living chiseled away at our bank account...it became blatantly obvious that my wife was tired of LA. While I was trying to make the best of the situation, she had simply quit trying to find good paying work. I realized that if I didn't act quickly, our marriage would fall apart unless we relocated back to Texas. After about 15 months into our "LA Experiment", we packed up a U-Haul and moved to Austin, TX without actual jobs.
We found a nice apartment in Austin and did some odd-jobs to make cash while looking for something more substantive. My wife was considering going to law school and found a legal assistant job at a law firm. I found a sales job for an upstart food company and everything started to look up. She actually found a job with her old company (the same company she worked for in Las Vegas) and we started banking money again. We took advantage of the $8,000 tax credit and bought a nice house in the North Austin area. We just bought the house last July and put at least $25,000 worth of improvements to the home - maybe $30,000. Here's where the story gets interesting.
During the first week of April, I left town on a business trip (I cover several states in my region) and found my wife being VERY distant on the phone. I knew something was wrong...she was acting very different. When I got home after the 3 day trip, I sat down with her to discuss the situation. She dropped the bomb on me. She said she was very unhappy in our marriage and didn't want to continue on any longer. I asked her if she was referring to divorce, and she said maybe. I was completely shocked by this admission. Although we have had problems (like all couples), I never thought my marriage was in danger of vanishing. I asked her what I could do to improve our marriage...and she said there wasn't anything to be done at this point. A couple of weeks of this, I grabbed her cell phone and found several text conversations with guys...during one of the conversations, I found she actually met up with an ex boyfriend. When I asked her what she was up to, she said it was business-related. For a fact, she had met up with at least two exes within a couple of weeks of all this going down.
After a few weeks of poor interaction, I convinced her to see a marriage counselor. She doesn't believe in therapy...as she thinks people are incapable of real, lasting changes. We saw a counselor for one session, during which she blasted my every flaw. While I admitted to not always being the best husband, she saw little need to reflect on her own shortcomings. It became obvious to me and the therapist that she had no desire to stay in the marriage. Within a couple of weeks of giving up on therapy, she moved all of her stuff out of the house...and back into her parents place. Within a couple days of moving into her parents, she moved into an apartment at an undisclosed location. Her parents wont even tell other family members where she is staying.
Her reasons for leaving?
"I need to find my identity."
"I want to be by myself."
"I want to be independent.
"We are incompatible."
What are these statements code for?
"I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU, BUT I DO WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE ELSE."
The pending divorce is a whole another matter....I could write a novel about this stuff. I'm discovering things about my wife that are leading me to believe that I should be very glad we didn't have any kids together. Although I certainly have my misgivings and have not been a perfect husband, I've always been honest, faithful, loyal and loving. For her to throw all of that away so easily shows volumes about her character. Needless to say, my perspective on marriage has changed greatly.
Marriage is not for amateurs, gentlemen.
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damn that's rough, sorry about that
did you live with her before you got married?
i think people should live with their future spouse at least a year before they marry, you can't truly know a person unless you live with them, plus it's a lot easier to go your separate ways if somebody out of the blue feels "we are incompatible" :-\
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Sorry, Relentless...that's some bull right there. At least you have a paper trail of attempting to reconcile and the convos with the exes if she tries some crap. I'd start moving assets...
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damn that's rough, sorry about that
did you live with her before you got married?
i think people should live with their future spouse at least a year before they marry, you can't truly know a person unless you live with them, plus it's a lot easier to go your separate ways if somebody out of the blue feels "we are incompatible" :-\
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No, we never lived together because her parents are traditionalists who would have thrown a fit, and she was trying to please them. Truth is, we spent so much time moving around and changing our lives that we didn't learn enough about one another. In spite of all this, I felt that we had a solid marriage. I had no idea she was that unhappy. According to her, she has been unhappy for quite some time. Why didn't she put the brakes on or give me a real indication of where she was mentally? I have no idea. Women internalize and it's our job as men to figure it out. Guess I'm not the best mind-reader. That said, I missed some real clues and should have paid more attention to them.
I wish she was of the mindset to work things out, but I don't believe she will change her mind. This woman is a single child who has gotten her way her entire life. Her parents spent more time adoring her than raising her. She thinks a person who truly loves you is replaceable and easy to find. Once the divorce is finalized and there is no reason to stay in touch, I think reality will truly set in.
Any women here who care to sound off with their opines?
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Sorry, Relentless...that's some bull right there. At least you have a paper trail of attempting to reconcile and the convos with the exes if she tries some crap. I'd start moving assets...
Thanks BB, I opened up a separate bank account the next day after she broke the news. Unfortunately, she rode a tidal wave of emotion when filing for a divorce and hired an attorney on retainer for $3500. Instead of dividing everything up and getting an attorney to write up all of the documentation, she costs us both a ton of money. I've had to hire an attorney now and will probably be out $2500-$3500. Now that she realizes how much of an idiot she's been acting, she's started to communicate again. Attorneys will always tell you that the more work you do, the less it will cost you. That's true, but they are still going to "get theirs." She cost us a couple thousand dollars more than we needed to spend because she acted like a petulant, spoiled child. The more this thing plays out, the more glad I am that all this came to the surface before babies were in play.
Could you even imagine? This might be the best thing that could have happened to me...
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fuck that is the worst thing about chicks, always expecting guys to be mind readers
they don't speak about their problems until they reach the point of no return ::)
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Don't attempt to figure her out. You gave her yourself and she chose to reject it for a "bigger, better deal".
Let her go and be cold. Don't converse with her, but be civil. She will attempt to manipulate your feelings by recalling good times. Do NOT take her back. Do NOT falter. It will let her believe it's okay to crap on you. There are better women out there for you when you are ready.
Sorry I'm so blunt.
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fuck that is the worst thing about chicks, always expecting guys to be mind readers
they don't speak about their problems until they reach the point of no return ::)
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There's a great book out there titled, "Women's Infidelity." It's a MUST READ for all men. Even if you are in a healthy relationship, you should read this book. There are definite signs women give men, but we are looking for literal, obvious signs. Women dont think like us! Here are some stats for you guys:
- 75% of divorces are perpetuated by women
- When a man suspects a woman of cheating, he is right 50% of the time
- When a woman suspects a man of cheating, she is right 85% of the time
What does this mean? Women aren't as commitment oriented as men. Women are not only better at discovering cheating, they are much better at covering it up!
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Don't attempt to figure her out. You gave her yourself and she chose to reject it for a "bigger, better deal".
Let her go and be cold. Don't converse with her, but be civil. She will attempt to manipulate your feelings by recalling good times. Do NOT take her back. Do NOT falter. It will let her believe it's okay to crap on you. There are better women out there for you when you are ready.
Sorry I'm so blunt.
You're exactly right. It doesn't matter at this point. She will always be a "high-risk" girl at this point onward. How could I ever trust her again? How could I ever believe what she says again? Why wouldn't she do the exact same thing in the future?
As much as I love her, I can't let her back in. I'm a romantic at heart, but someone that truly loves you would never do this. I would NEVER do this to her. EVER.
Yes, I can and will do better in the future. I've learned much from this whole ordeal and am taking steps to improve my life. I'm actually writing a short book about men going through divorce, as men aren't equipped to handle divorce as well as women.
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Relentless, I'm very sorry you are going through this.
The following stood out for me:
She doesn't believe in therapy...as she thinks people are incapable of real, lasting changes.
If she believes that, then somewhere inside she must believe it about herself. And if she is not capable of real lasting changes, will she always be a cheat (though I don't think you said it directly I inferred that she cheated)?
:(
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Relentless, I'm very sorry you are going through this.
The following stood out for me:
If she believes that, then somewhere inside she must believe it about herself. And if she is not capable of real lasting changes, will she always be a cheat (though I don't think you said it directly I inferred that she cheated)?
:(
Thank you, STella. I don't know if she cheated or not, at least, physically. At the least, she cheated emotionally, at the worst, she cheated physically and emotionally.
I agree with your statement above - the reason why she wants out more than anything else (at least I feel) is that she knows she can't continue repressing herself from doing what she really wants to do. She's a very conflicted person. She lacks resolve and emotional muscle. I overlooked these traits in the past because I loved her. In retrospect, this is probably all for the best. I can't tell you how many people who know the both of us have told me that I will end up being much better off.
The biggest character witness for me has been her father. He's a grizzled ex-cop who has been nothing but supportive of me throughout this entire ordeal. He actually told me the following:
- I will get married and find happiness with someone else.
- I deserve to be happy.
- I am a good person.
- I am built for marriage.
- I handled myself like a gentleman throughout this entire thing.
- His daughter is a quitter.
- His daughter's reasons for wanting out of the marriage are "bullshit."
- He is embarrassed to talk about the divorce amongst friends and family, because his daughter is the instigator.
If I was a prick, her dad would be all over me like white on rice. The fact he believes I'm actually going to prosper and be happy is a nice endorsement.
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Oh and yes, some women do kind of wish/think that men should be "mind readers" for lack of a better term...but eventually they realize that it is best to communicate and sometimes actually practically spell stuff out about their feelings if you really want him to know.
I'm not sure how long a female needs to be in a relationship or how old she needs to get before she realizes that men are not mind readers and also that it's unfair for anyone to expect anyone else to be able to "read their mind" .... things work out much better w/good communication.
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The top two questions that will go through a man's mind when his woman leaves:
- Will she come back?
- Will she regret it?
Once you don't give a shit about either one of these two questions, the answers will reveal themselves shortly thereafter. It sucks, but that's how it works. The less you give a shit, the better off you are. Believe me, it won't happen overnight...not if you truly loved her, anyway.
I'm not quite at this point yet...but I'm getting there. :)
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Thank you, STella. I don't know if she cheated or not, at least, physically. At the least, she cheated emotionally, at the worst, she cheated physically and emotionally.
I agree with your statement above - the reason why she wants out more than anything else (at least I feel) is that she knows she can't continue repressing herself from doing what she really wants to do. She's a very conflicted person. She lacks resolve and emotional muscle. I overlooked these traits in the past because I loved her. In retrospect, this is probably all for the best. I can't tell you how many people who know the both of us have told me that I will end up being much better off.
The biggest character witness for me has been her father. He's a grizzled ex-cop who has been nothing but supportive of me throughout this entire ordeal. He actually told me the following:
- I will get married and find happiness with someone else.
- I deserve to be happy.
- I am a good person.
- I handled myself like a gentleman throughout this entire thing.
- His daughter is a quitter.
- His daughter's reasons for wanting out of the marriage are "bullshit."
- He is embarrassed to talk about the divorce amongst friends and family, because his daughter is the instigator.
If I was a prick, her dad would be all over me like white on rice. The fact he believes I'm actually going to prosper and be happy is a nice endorsement.
Yes. It does seem still love her and I'm sure this is terribly painful. But just from reading this little bit of info I can agree w/the father's statements that you will find happiness and you seem like a good person ... I think you are going to find a woman that can really appreciate what you have to give and your ex unfortunately is going to have regrets. This time is horrible but there is happiness in the future for you!!
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Yes. It does seem still love her and I'm sure this is terribly painful. But just from reading this little bit of info I can agree w/the father's statements that you will find happiness and you seem like a good person ... I think you are going to find a woman that can really appreciate what you have to give and your ex unfortunately is going to have regrets. This time is horrible but there is happiness in the future for you!!
Thank you for the kind words. This situation is certainly humbling and has forced me to look deep inside myself for answers, because there's little chance of finding them from her. I've had to develop my own closure. It's no easy task.
As tough as this is, I have not given up on love. I have not given up on the concept of a happy marriage. Marriage was not the problem, WE were the problem. All I can do now is move forward with my life and become a better person.
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The top two questions that will go through a man's mind when his woman leaves:
- Will she come back?
- Will she regret it?
Once you don't give a shit about either one of these two questions, the answers will reveal themselves shortly thereafter. It sucks, but that's how it works. The less you give a shit, the better off you are. Believe me, it won't happen overnight...not if you truly loved her, anyway.
I'm not quite at this point yet...but I'm getting there. :)
It seems to me she will def. regret it. It's hard to tell what she wants, or what she thinks she wants, but I think she will realize in time that what she really wants, she had - and she screwed up.
Marriage was not the problem, WE were the problem.
You are very gracious. ..most would say SHE was the problem.
Thank you for the kind words. This situation is certainly humbling and has forced me to look deep inside myself for answers, because there's little chance of finding them from her. I've had to develop my own closure. It's no easy task.
As tough as this is, I have not given up on love. I have not given up on the concept of a happy marriage. All I can do now is move forward with my life and become a better person.
You have a very good and healthy attitude about this! Althought it would be great your ex came to her senses soon....the woman of your future is blessed! :)
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It seems to me she will def. regret it. It's hard to tell what she wants, or what she thinks she wants, but I think she will realize in time that what she really wants, she had - and she screwed up.
She actually admitted to me that she didnt know what she wants, but she does want to get a divorce. She's throwing away a a good man and a good life because she doesn't want to WORK on the relationship. In her mind's eye, she has given it a fair chance and it hasn't made her happy enough. I find it amazing that she blames the "relationship" as an entity, but refuses to look at herself as part of the problem. Once the dust has settled and there's nothing more to communicate about regarding legal and financial matters, I won't be reaching out to her again. The day she comes to regret it is probably the day I will be long gone. I dont see how you can rebuild a life after having gone through something like this. How could I ever look at her in the same light?
You are very gracious. ..most would say SHE was the problem.
Thank you. I was not a perfect husband and will readily admit my faults. However, the sum of the parts (as in me) was a good person who loved and respected her. I'm not sure what kind of quality guy she is going to find, being a 25 yr old divorce', but a rude awakening might be awaiting her. The kind of guys that will latch on to her are guys that probably just want to get laid and see a ripe opportunity. I hope she is able to avoid this, but she's a naive person.
You have a very good and healthy attitude about this! Althought it would be great your exxxx came to her senses soon....the woman of your future is blessed! :)
I'm bullish on the future! :D