Getbig.com: American Bodybuilding, Fitness and Figure
Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Thong Maniac on January 19, 2016, 02:09:45 PM
-
anyone here have kids, but really didnt want them? if so, did you have them because your woman wanted to?
im seriously at zero hour here boys. gotta either tell me wife no i cant do it, and get a divorce and leave her screwed...or give in to her wants and have a kid (s).
having a kid in my situation is the easy way out. but, i dont want to take that route if i still dont think its right for me. im so confused. i have no interest in kids, but i can see how it would be fulfilling too. ahhh i hate this situation so much
-
If it doesn't feel right for you, don't do it.
Otherwise you might regret.
Also think of the kid and his/her position/base.
-
anyone here have kids, but really didnt want them? if so, did you have them because your woman wanted to?
im seriously at zero hour here boys. gotta either tell me wife no i cant do it, and get a divorce and leave her screwed...or give in to her wants and have a kid (s).
having a kid in my situation is the easy way out. but, i dont want to take that route if i still dont think its right for me. im so confused. i have no interest in kids, but i can see how it would be fulfilling too. ahhh i hate this situation so much
What's your relationship with your wife like?
Do you enjoy being around her?
Do you want to fuck her a lot?
Answer this before you even consider kids.
-
anyone here have kids, but really didnt want them? if so, did you have them because your woman wanted to?
im seriously at zero hour here boys. gotta either tell me wife no i cant do it, and get a divorce and leave her screwed...or give in to her wants and have a kid (s).
having a kid in my situation is the easy way out. but, i dont want to take that route if i still dont think its right for me. im so confused. i have no interest in kids, but i can see how it would be fulfilling too. ahhh i hate this situation so much
How hot is your wife? How much money does she make? how is she with kids? If she's the best your gonna do have a kid with her. IF you think you can do better leave her. Pretty simple brah...
-
Depends on both of your ages I would say.
-
anyone here have kids, but really didnt want them? if so, did you have them because your woman wanted to?
im seriously at zero hour here boys. gotta either tell me wife no i cant do it, and get a divorce and leave her screwed...or give in to her wants and have a kid (s).
having a kid in my situation is the easy way out. but, i dont want to take that route if i still dont think its right for me. im so confused. i have no interest in kids, but i can see how it would be fulfilling too. ahhh i hate this situation so much
(https://kiss100.co.ke/wp-content/uploads/bfi_thumb/suicide-rope-2y14sz94lfyzi4p414e03u.jpg)
-
What's your relationship with your wife like?
Do you enjoy being around her?
Do you want to fuck her a lot?
Answer this before you even consider kids.
i enjoy being around her. we are very different though. i am bored when she is not around. i fuck her alot and like to as well. she is in amazing shape and has large tits
-
How hot is your wife? How much money does she make? how is she with kids? If she's the best your gonna do have a kid with her. IF you think you can do better leave her. Pretty simple brah...
face is a 7, body is 10. makes more than me by a mile. i dont even think about doing better. i just want to be happy, and not sure if kids will make me happy or not. maybe id be happy living in the woods in a tiny ass trailor with no kids or woman...i dunno man
-
The only good thing about kids is making them.
-
i enjoy being around her. we are very different though. i am bored when she is not around. i fuck her alot and like to as well. she is in amazing shape and has large tits
Well, since you listed certain aspects, if you get her pregnant her "aspects" will become larger. So, that is a plus in having kids. Plus, you get the teach the young man (if it is a boy) all the things to avoid in today's world, and teach him how to be the man you are not. Revel in the fact that he will be better than you.
If it is a girl, teach her how to avoid men like you. Revel in the fact that she will find a man far better you ever could be.
So, say yes to the BMC way tonight.
-
Well, since you listed certain aspects, if you get her pregnant her "aspects" will become larger. So, that is a plus in having kids. Plus, you get the teach the young man (if it is a boy) all the things to avoid in today's world, and teach him how to be the man you are not. Revel in the fact that he will be better than you.
If it is a girl, teach her how to avoid men like you. Revel in the fact that she will find a man far better you ever could be.
So, say yes to the BMC way tonight.
lol, thats the thing. having a boy might be cool. not so sure about girl.
-
You sound like you're trying to choose a place to eat for dinner. I wouldn't recommend having kids if you feel that way.
I have a kid and I'm divorced. It's tough, but it's not as tough as people make it out to be. Not trying to be racist, but it seems like a white-person thing to really stress over kids. Not many other cultures fall the fuck apart like people in North America. Was together for 2 years with our kid and then separated. But it's not as tough as people make it out to be. People act like it's a death sentence. Pack a baby bag everywhere you go, feed it, change it, nurture it. It's not hard. And if that seems hard, you shouldn't be having kids. It's just a little bit of extra work...
-
I'm 36, I went to a party on the weekend because one of my mates is having a kid (year out of leaving his wife too), another had two kids, a few others had kids. No thanks. I had the chance in the past to be tied down and married a few times which would have ended up with kids and I would not be in the position today making the money I am and being able to still train if i'd done that. I wouldn't have the money and would be fucking stressed out big time, probably not training much, wasting time on bullshit things I don't want to do. But it's up to you everyone is different.
-
(https://kiss100.co.ke/wp-content/uploads/bfi_thumb/suicide-rope-2y14sz94lfyzi4p414e03u.jpg)
this
Worst thing a man could do. Second only to getting married.
-
i enjoy being around her. we are very different though. i am bored when she is not around. i fuck her alot and like to as well. she is in amazing shape and has large tits
I dunno, I still think you're a bit fucked up, in the context that you haven't really committed to this relationship long term.
I get the sense part of you thinks deeply about what it would be like to put a profile on tinder and stuff. If that's still consuming you, might not be best to have kids right now.
In addition, based on your bodybuilding posts, we don't need any more people with shitty genetics clogging up our gyms.
But to your point about boy/girl.....you think you want a certain sex, but you will not care once you have them. But you're a long way from that.
-
Worst thing a man could do. Second only to getting married.
I have to agree.
-
In fifteen years your son is going to discover this forum and find his absentee father's post and kill himself. Consider that before making the sperm donation.
-
If she will divorce you over this you will get one after the kid is born. When will be the next ultimatum.
-
The only good thing about kids is making them.
Word
-
Listen, this is not so complicated. There are a few options:
Option 1: Stay married and have kids. Life will be peachy. You and your wife will have lots of money, your kids will become Rhodes Scholars and get into the finest schools. Life will be splendid in every aspect.
Option 2: Tell your wife that you do not want kids, and she stays with you, but perhaps resents you. Marriage takes a slow turn for the worst.
Option 3: Tell your wife that you do not want kid, and you divorce. Go your separate ways.
Option 4: Stay married and have kids. Your life is miserable. Your kids take up all your time. You and your wife hate each other, but you stay married for the kids. You sleep in separate beds and never touch each other.
Option 5: You get married, have kids, life is miserable, but you get a divorce. You spend at least 22 years paying child support, and perhaps alimony. You live alone, and hate life.
So, pick your option, and go with it.
-
kids ? no thanks...
i love money, freedom and silence
-
kids ? no thanks...
i love money, freedom and silence
Spoken like a wise man
-
Listen, this is not so complicated. There are a few options:
Option 1: Stay married and have kids. Life will be peachy. You and your wife will have lots of money, your kids will become Rhodes Scholars and get into the finest schools. Life will be splendid in every aspect.
Option 2: Tell your wife that you do not want kids, and she stays with you, but perhaps resents you. Marriage takes a slow turn for the worst.
Option 3: Tell your wife that you do not want kid, and you divorce. Go your separate ways.
Option 4: Stay married and have kids. Your life is miserable. Your kids take up all your time. You and your wife hate each other, but you stay married for the kids. You sleep in separate beds and never touch each other.
Option 5: You get married, have kids, life is miserable, but you get a divorce. You spend at least 22 years paying child support, and perhaps alimony. You live alone, and hate life.
So, pick your option, and go with it.
1. is unlikely.
I'd go with 3.
Everything else is unacceptable.
-
I dunno, I still think you're a bit fucked up, in the context that you haven't really committed to this relationship long term.
I get the sense part of you thinks deeply about what it would be like to put a profile on tinder and stuff. If that's still consuming you, might not be best to have kids right now.
In addition, based on your bodybuilding posts, we don't need any more people with shitty genetics clogging up our gyms.
But to your point about boy/girl.....you think you want a certain sex, but you will not care once you have them. But you're a long way from that.
do you have kids?
i agree with some of what you said. not the tindr shit. i am so lucky that my wife is loyal and loves me a ton, but the kids thing is the only issue and im afraid im,gonna make the wrong call
where are the actual dads at? afraid to post?
-
1. is unlikely.
I'd go with 3.
Everything else is unacceptable.
1 happens to a small amount of people.
-
Listen, this is not so complicated. There are a few options:
Option 1: Stay married and have kids. Life will be peachy. You and your wife will have lots of money, your kids will become Rhodes Scholars and get into the finest schools. Life will be splendid in every aspect.
Option 2: Tell your wife that you do not want kids, and she stays with you, but perhaps resents you. Marriage takes a slow turn for the worst.
Option 3: Tell your wife that you do not want kid, and you divorce. Go your separate ways.
Option 4: Stay married and have kids. Your life is miserable. Your kids take up all your time. You and your wife hate each other, but you stay married for the kids. You sleep in separate beds and never touch each other.
Option 5: You get married, have kids, life is miserable, but you get a divorce. You spend at least 22 years paying child support, and perhaps alimony. You live alone, and hate life.
So, pick your option, and go with it.
im 80 percent at 3, 20 percent at 1
-
im 80 percent at 3, 20 percent at 1
Well, there you go!!
-
anyone here have kids, but really didnt want them? if so, did you have them because your woman wanted to?
im seriously at zero hour here boys. gotta either tell me wife no i cant do it, and get a divorce and leave her screwed...or give in to her wants and have a kid (s).
having a kid in my situation is the easy way out. but, i dont want to take that route if i still dont think its right for me. im so confused. i have no interest in kids, but i can see how it would be fulfilling too. ahhh i hate this situation so much
Man, I've been there. tough tough spot dude. I chose no kids, no marriage and relationship eventually failed. I am soon to be 43 and question if I did the right thing sometimes. And you know what I think for men like us you are damned if you do damned if you don't, whatever decision you make will possibly feel like the wrong one at times and the right one at others. Just be sure whatever decision you make to commit to it, wavering in your decision will only torment you. (PS, my girlfriend had huge huge titties, trust me, they eventually sag - a lot)
My ex went on to start banging a 25 year old and he can have her. After 12 years I had enough and she busted my balls so much it was a relief to see the back of her. Some days I get sentimental and think of her but not often anymore. I live alone now and for the most part I really love it, but this too has it's moments. Life wasn't meant to be easy dude.
-
Man, I've been there. tough tough spot dude. I chose no kids, no marriage and relationship eventually failed. I am soon to be 43 and question if I did the right thing sometimes. And you know what I think for men like us you are damned if you do damned if you don't, whatever decision you make will possibly feel like the wrong one at times and the right one at others. Just be sure whatever decision you make to commit to it, wavering in your decision will only torment you. (PS, my girlfriend had huge huge titties, trust me, they eventually sag - a lot)
thanks bro. wifes tits are big n fake though. yeah im really torn, i feel like the longer i give her hope the harder it will be. but,,,,maybe i do want kids....fuck ahhhhhhh
did u get duvorced over it? or just boyfriend/gf?
-
thanks bro. wifes tits are big n fake though. yeah im really torn, i feel like the longer i give her hope the harder it will be. but,,,,maybe i do want kids....fuck ahhhhhhh
Give yourself some more time, the reason you are stressed about it because unlike most things, having children is irreversible. Whatever decision you make will have an undeniably large impact on your future. Just tell the girlfriend that you are thinking seriously on the matter but still need a little more time. It would be irresponsible to bring a child into the world if you weren't sure that you wanted to to Father a child. Think about the potential of separation and dealing with another man who lives with your ex and your kids etc etc.. I would write a list of reasons you think you want children and a list of reason of why you don't. Weigh the pros and cons and deliberate on it for a while. Good Luck dude, like I said I have been there.Even now at 43 I have a 37 year old chick who just had two children to another man (they separated soon after getting pregnant last). She is offering me the opportunity to have kids, she seems to think I am missing out on something, I tell her I am OK just the way I am. Chicks.
-
Give yourself some more time, the reason you are stressed about it because unlike most things, having children is irreversible. Whatever decision you make will have an undeniably large impact on your future. Just tell the girlfriend that you are thinking seriously on the matter but still need a little more time. It would be irresponsible to bring a child into the world if you weren't sure that you wanted to to Father a child. Think about the potential of separation and dealing with another man who lives with your ex and your kids etc etc.. I would write a list of reasons you think you want children and a list of reason of why you don't. Weigh the pros and cons and deliberate on it for a while. Good Luck dude, like I said I have been there.Even now at 43 I have a 37 year old chick who just had two children to another man (they separated soon after getting pregnant last). She is offering me the opportunity to have kids, she seems to think I am missing out on something, I tell her I am OK just the way I am. Chicks.
thanks man. been there done that on giving it time. pretty much ultimatum time now for her. she is barely 30, but she thinks she needs to do it now. ive been wishy washy on it for the last year or so. she is tired of the shit.
-
thanks bro. wifes tits are big n fake though. yeah im really torn, i feel like the longer i give her hope the harder it will be. but,,,,maybe i do want kids....fuck ahhhhhhh
did u get duvorced over it? or just boyfriend/gf?
Just boyfriend/girlfriend. She pressured me to marry her for years. I realise now at my age I was an original "Men going their own way". My early experiences with chicks sucked and I could never trust them. I kind of developed the opinion they will all eventually fuck you over or let you down in some way. Maybe I created a self fulfilling prophecy, but my observations with friends seems to have proven me correct. I just think in this day and age any man who values his masculinity is at a disadvantage, as women today are trained to castrate men and have a lot of social, legal and political power to do their bidding.
-
thanks man. been there done that on giving it time. pretty much ultimatum time now for her. she is barely 30, but she thinks she needs to do it now. ive been wishy washy on it for the last year or so. she is tired of the shit.
Then it is decision time. Don't be afraid to make the wrong one, we all make big mistakes sometimes. Unfortunately in life we don't get a dress rehearsal. Good Luck my friend.
-
Just boyfriend/girlfriend. She pressured me to marry her for years. I realise now at my age I was an original "Men going their own way". My early experiences with chicks sucked and I could never trust them. I kind of developed the opinion they will all eventually fuck you over or let you down in some way. Maybe I created a self fulfilling prophecy, but my observations with friends seems to have proven me correct. I just think in this day and age any man who values his masculinity is at a disadvantage, as women today are trained to castrate men and have a lot of social, legal and political power to do their bidding.
i feel ya man, your definitely rare. lots of guys get trapped and lead thr life they think they are supposed to live. marriage was as far as i think im willing to go. kids, not so sure. funny how no fathers have commented in this thread.
-
Just boyfriend/girlfriend. She pressured me to marry her for years. I realise now at my age I was an original "Men going their own way". My early experiences with chicks sucked and I could never trust them. I kind of developed the opinion they will all eventually fuck you over or let you down in some way. Maybe I created a self fulfilling prophecy, but my observations with friends seems to have proven me correct. I just think in this day and age any man who values his masculinity is at a disadvantage, as women today are trained to castrate men and have a lot of social, legal and political power to do their bidding.
This is the main problem. People can say you are a woman hater or whatever but the basic fact is, if you get married there is a huge advantage to the woman (in most cases) if you get divorced or even have kids. I've met so many guys who have had their life fucked around. Is it worth the stress is it worth taking the risk of going through all that shit? The problem is the older you get you realise how fucked up most people are. There's always some problem.
-
i feel ya man, your definitely rare. lots of guys get trapped and lead thr life they think they are supposed to live. marriage was as far as i think im willing to go. kids, not so sure. funny how no fathers have commented in this thread.
I should add, I did help raise my ex's daughter from the age of 9. It definitely had some real powerful highs that made me realise how special being a parent could be, but there were also some terrible lows that made me go WTF. Everyone is just different I suppose and I think it depends on your own family life. My family of origin was incredibly dysfunctional and abusive and I think that contributed to putting me off having a family of my own.
-
Why the fuck would you marry a woman you didn't intend to impregnate??
-
where are the actual dads at? afraid to post?
Or raising their kids?
-
Just boyfriend/girlfriend. She pressured me to marry her for years. I realise now at my age I was an original "Men going their own way". My early experiences with chicks sucked and I could never trust them. I kind of developed the opinion they will all eventually fuck you over or let you down in some way. Maybe I created a self fulfilling prophecy, but my observations with friends seems to have proven me correct. I just think in this day and age any man who values his masculinity is at a disadvantage, as women today are trained to castrate men and have a lot of social, legal and political power to do their bidding.
You did right.
Trust me, you really can't trust them.
If you do, you are fucked.
Just don't let them castrate you.
Life might get harder but it's worth it.
Never be the pussy of a pussy.
-
I'm sure you've talked this over with your spouse at length and mulled this over yourself ad nauseum, yet indecision persists. By now, it's reasonable to conclude that further rumination won't bring you any closer to a decision and eliminate all doubts about whether you should leave that Nobel Prize for another lifetime. Therefore, my advice to you is to tell your wife to put on something nice and convince you that ejaculating in her is the thing to do.
-
funny how no fathers have commented in this thread.
raising their kids?
Or preparing the noose ;D Time waits for no man.
-
This should have all been worked out before you two got married. Didn't the conversation about having kids come up before you got married? This isn't something you decide after marriage.
-
I'm 36, I went to a party on the weekend because one of my mates is having a kid (year out of leaving his wife too), another had two kids, a few others had kids. No thanks. I had the chance in the past to be tied down and married a few times which would have ended up with kids and I would not be in the position today making the money I am and being able to still train if i'd done that. I wouldn't have the money and would be fucking stressed out big time, probably not training much, wasting time on bullshit things I don't want to do. But it's up to you everyone is different.
^^^
Prime example of what I'm talking about.
My gym has child minding. As soon as your kid can hold his or her neck up, you can take them. I would train every morning, take my daughter to the park, feed her, etc. I live in Canada and took some time off for parental leave. But before that, the ex would take care of our daughter. I was able to work, train, party on weekends, do whatever. It's way different if you're a single parent, but if you have two grown ass adults, how the hell can you not be able to take care of a child? It's not that difficult. And if you have family members or friends with kids the same age, you can easily reclaim a lot of lost time. Family members are usually eager because being an aunt/uncle or grandma/grandpa is super rewarding and no drain at all.
The only thing I would caution is the relationship... I'm now divorced and half of my income goes to my ex. You're gonna be stuck with the mother of your child for almost two decades - THAT is the only thing I'll caution you about. Women are all crazy though, so that should go without saying.
-
do you have kids?
i agree with some of what you said. not the tindr shit. i am so lucky that my wife is loyal and loves me a ton, but the kids thing is the only issue and im afraid im,gonna make the wrong call
where are the actual dads at? afraid to post?
Yes I do. I'm in the "best thing ever" camp.
Did I know it at before? No. Nobody does. Didn't really care for kids much before either. It's cliche, but you don't know until you do it.
It's personal choice and I don't begrudge those who don't go that route. But they need to shut the fuck up when giving advice they've garnered through their "friends". They probably would be lousy at it anyway. But all this not being able to train, work, have fun, etc is bullshit. Under normal circumstances, it is what you make it to be.
But asking for advice on getbig? Speaks volumes to me.
Either way, man up, make your own decision, and live with it.
-
I'm 36, I went to a party on the weekend because one of my mates is having a kid (year out of leaving his wife too), another had two kids, a few others had kids. No thanks. I had the chance in the past to be tied down and married a few times which would have ended up with kids and I would not be in the position today making the money I am and being able to still train if i'd done that. I wouldn't have the money and would be fucking stressed out big time, probably not training much, wasting time on bullshit things I don't want to do. But it's up to you everyone is different.
Yup, everyone is different. I have a friend who lives in the suburbs with his wife and kid. Both make good livings, they have money, take vacations, go out, their child is thriving developmentally, and I would say they have a happy marriage.
I have another friend who is married and him and his wife don't make good livings. Their kid has some developmental delays (not autism or anything). They dont take vacation, they dont go out. The marriage appears to be "iffy."
So, yeah, it pans out differently for everyone.
-
Yes I do. I'm in the "best thing ever" camp.
Did I know it at before? No. Nobody does. Didn't really care for kids much before either. It's cliche, but you don't know until you do it.
It's personal choice and I don't begrudge those who don't go that route. But they need to shut the fuck up when giving advice they've garnered through their "friends". They probably would be lousy at it anyway. But all this not being able to train, work, have fun, etc is bullshit. Under normal circumstances, it is what you make it to be.
But asking for advice on getbig? Speaks volumes to me.
Either way, man up, make your own decision, and live with it.
Translation: I am stressed the fuck out and envy childless men. I don't know what I was thinking but have no choice now but to pretend it is the greatest thing ever. Come join me my friend and repent at your leisure.
-
Translation: I am stressed the fuck out and envy childless men. I don't know what I was thinking but have no choice now but to pretend it is the greatest thing ever. Come join me my friend and repent at your leisure.
So fucking wrong.
You were kicked off facebook. That's you.
-
So fucking wrong.
You were kicked off facebook. That's you.
haha ;D ;D ;D
-
face is a 7, body is 10. makes more than me by a mile. i dont even think about doing better. i just want to be happy, and not sure if kids will make me happy or not. maybe id be happy living in the woods in a tiny ass trailor with no kids or woman...i dunno man
You found a woman like that and you're having "second thoughts"?
-
So fucking wrong.
You were kicked off facebook. That's you.
Ask him about the time the police sectioned him to a psychiatric ward.
Wasn't his fault of course :D
-
So, yeah, it pans out differently for everyone.
Undeniable.
-
You found a woman like that and you're having "second thoughts"?
Major life decisions, such as kids, occupation, religion, etc., are often deal breakers, no matter how good looking the person is.
-
So fucking wrong.
You were kicked off facebook. That's you.
It's just that for someone who was trying to convey the joys of parenthood, your post wreaked of anger and resentment, especially towards the childless getbiggers. But hey, what do I know, I am just a man enjoying the fuck out of my life doing whatever it is I please. I am just about to go for another bike ride, so more videos later. Enjoy snot wiping Happy Dad.
-
Ask him about the time the police sectioned him to a psychiatric ward.
Wasn't his fault of course :D
It wasn't too bad, can only hold you for 24 hours unless a psychiatrist deems you mentally unfit. Plus I got some free drugs out of it and I met some absolute characters.
I have always enjoyed the maxim 'A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.' - Kurt Vonnegut
-
I have a Two year old with another one on the way...
Here is how it went for me...
Went from sorta wanting...
To not wanting....
To wanting....
Had the baby...
First three months I wanted to do like the movie "300" and kick the kid out, give her a stick to defend herself from wolves! It was hard on me...
3 months onwards.... I'm head over heels in love with my daughter (who is a total daddys girl now) and i would never ever want to go back to my life before.
Having kids is hard as HELL!!! Especially the first three months, that's extra hell... I was asking myself why do people do this a second and third time??? Why!!! All a baby does the first three months, is sleep, eat, shit and cry... And cry and cry and cry and cry... And then you cry because you want to throw yourself off of a building. Those first three months you give give give give give and you get absolutely nothing in return.... Then all of a sudden at around the 3-4 month mark something happens, a switch goes off in the baby, and everything you've given comes back to you 10 folds! You get this love that you have never felt before and you fall in love with the baby.... Imagine the one thing your currently love more than anything else, it could be your car, your wife, your mother, Big Ramy, whatever... But imagine that love... And multiply it by 1,000,000,000.... That's the love you start to feel for your child after the first three months and it only grows exponentially from there.
Look, there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids, and if it's not for you is not for you, and that's ok, but speaking from my own experience I went from hating being a father the first three months to never not wanting to be one.
It's hard and its life changing, but if you and your wife are in a good place together and in a stable marriage, you'll be able to do a great job. Just remember, guys are different... You'll never feel ready to be a father, I know I didn't. But I love it!!!
-
And cry and cry and cry and cry...
Coming to terms with those schnoz genetics, no doubt!
-
anyone here have kids, but really didnt want them? if so, did you have them because your woman wanted to?
im seriously at zero hour here boys. gotta either tell me wife no i cant do it, and get a divorce and leave her screwed...or give in to her wants and have a kid (s).
having a kid in my situation is the easy way out. but, i dont want to take that route if i still dont think its right for me. im so confused. i have no interest in kids, but i can see how it would be fulfilling too. ahhh i hate this situation so much
Guys often don't have much interest in having kids until later when they start to become little images of themselves. My wife wanted 5 kids, I gave her two. Two turned out to be just right. -No regrets.
One concern is that it doesn't seem to be a big deal you that refusing to have kids means you'll get divorced. If your willing to end a marriage over this, it may not be much of a marriage anyway. If that's the case, it would be better to not have kids. You're wife would be "screwed" a lot more if you leave her after she has your kids.
-
It's just that for someone who was trying to convey the joys of parenthood, your post wreaked of anger and resentment, especially towards the childless getbiggers. But hey, what do I know, I am just a man enjoying the fuck out of my life doing whatever it is I please. I am just about to go for another bike ride, so more videos later. Enjoy snot wiping Happy Dad.
Actually, if you read it objectively, you'd see I said it's a personal choice, and I don't begrudge those who don't. One thing I don't do is try to push my personal experience on others and say it's the right way to do things. See the difference?
But, go back to "enjoying the fuck out yourself", which the only real evidence we have of what the means is being banned from facebook for stalking, detained in a pysch ward, and getting booted off a bodybuilding message board and having to change your name a few times. Rock on.
-
Actually, if you read it objectively, you'd see I said it's a personal choice, and I don't begrudge those who don't. One thing I don't do is try to push my personal experience on others and say it's the right way to do things. See the difference?
But, go back to "enjoying the fuck out yourself", which the only real evidence we have of what the means is being banned from facebook for stalking, detained in a pysch ward, and getting booted off a bodybuilding message board and having to change your name a few times. Rock on.
Yes, you know someone's life is pathetic when they stalk women on FB and get banned. Very sad.
-
Yes, you know someone's life is pathetic when they stalk women on FB and get banned. Very sad.
And brag about it here.
-
I absolutely love being a dad, no one will ever come close to making you feel as great as your kids will. As a matter of fact I enjoy it so much I have 5.
-
You'd probably have one of those childhood obesity kids that throws tantrums in stores and strikes out playing tee-ball. ::)
-
You'd probably have one of those childhood obesity kids that throws tantrums in stores and strikes out playing tee-ball. ::)
What the fuck us the point of such a spiteful comment? Do you have a personal beef with thong, or something?
I never used to give a second thought when I typed out posts like yours, but once you're in the spotlight, you start to wonder where shit like this comes from.
Not to single you out or anything... Lots of weird digs at thong in this thread, even nestled into the 'well-meaning' replies.
-
Yes I do. I'm in the "best thing ever" camp.
Did I know it at before? No. Nobody does. Didn't really care for kids much before either. It's cliche, but you don't know until you do it.
It's personal choice and I don't begrudge those who don't go that route. But they need to shut the fuck up when giving advice they've garnered through their "friends". They probably would be lousy at it anyway. But all this not being able to train, work, have fun, etc is bullshit. Under normal circumstances, it is what you make it to be.
Actually, if you read it objectively, you'd see I said it's a personal choice, and I don't begrudge those who don't. One thing I don't do is try to push my personal experience on others and say it's the right way to do things. See the difference?
But, go back to "enjoying the fuck out yourself", which the only real evidence we have of what the means is being banned from facebook for stalking, detained in a pysch ward, and getting booted off a bodybuilding message board and having to change your name a few times. Rock on.
But asking for advice on getbig? Speaks volumes to me.
Either way, man up, make your own decision, and live with it
Yeah, sounds like you don't begrudge childless men. ::)
I never pushed my position at all, merely stated my opinion and I certainly didn't say that men with children should shut the fuck up when giving advice because they will only lie through their teeth because they aren't allowed to admit how much their lives were ruined by children, not to mention how they are now ruining some other poor childs life in the process.
And for the record I have never been booted of this board, merely changed my handle. ;D
But look I forgive your angry outbursts, you're a dad who is struggling with Fatherhood and I wouldn't want to enrage you any further, if only for the sake of your poor children.
-
Yes, you know someone's life is pathetic when they stalk women on FB and get banned. Very sad.
Oh, I troll women here also, you are a classic example. ;D
-
face is a 7, body is 10. makes more than me by a mile. i dont even think about doing better. i just want to be happy, and not sure if kids will make me happy or not. maybe id be happy living in the woods in a tiny ass trailor with no kids or woman...i dunno man
You most probably won't be happy due to kids, more likely pretty miserable. Make money, not kids, that MAY increase your chances of being happy and at ease in life. And one more thing - if you even have this question - than the answer is NO. I too have a great gf, and she's turning the tides to that direction slowly, I'm 30, nowhere near even considering kids, plenty of men would be happier than ever to have kids with her and she would be a great mother, so if I decide that I'm not in for the long run (and kids obviously means just that) - I'll make and end to it, cold turkey. It is especially difficult when one realizes that the choice of pussy is so overhelming and generally just understand life a lot more than before. I personally do not believe in "parenthood" at all, very few men are built for that, most just care about a certain pussy and being able to fuck it regulary.
-
Thing with kids is that whek you once get one you will love it more then anything and you will not miss your old life (if you are a normal person, i was 28 and we had not planned to get one, first we where talking about abortion cause we both didnt think we where ready but finally after alot of talking decided to keep it and it was my best decision i have ever made. I cant imagine living without my daughter...we separated when she was 2.5 and now i have her eow. The week i hahe her im a responsible father and the next week i go to tinder and fuck sluts raw and drink and to what ever i want.
-
I think that no one is ever ready for kids. However, if you know they're something you want, you just gotta take the plunge. They'll be there for you later in life when you need them ;D lol
-
I think that no one is ever ready for kids. However, if you know they're something you want, you just gotta take the plunge. They'll be there for you later in life when you need them ;D lol
That's a joke right. That rarely happens in the West, children abandon their parents and they often die alone after a long bout of loneliness.
-
I think that no one is ever ready for kids. However, if you know they're something you want, you just gotta take the plunge. They'll be there for you later in life when you need them ;D lol
Depends on how you define 'ready'. Sure, it will be a completely new experience in someone's life, but I believe that a wise, caring & responsible person can be ready for this.
-
i feel ya man, your definitely rare. lots of guys get trapped and lead thr life they think they are supposed to live. marriage was as far as i think im willing to go. kids, not so sure. funny how no fathers have commented in this thread.
That's because very few experienced/older men in your life will put a hand on your shoulder and honestly say...."son........the best thing in life that I did was marrying and having kids.".
-
Thing with kids is that whek you once get one you will love it more then anything and you will not miss your old life (if you are a normal person, i was 28 and we had not planned to get one, first we where talking about abortion cause we both didnt think we where ready but finally after alot of talking decided to keep it and it was my best decision i have ever made. I cant imagine living without my daughter...we separated when she was 2.5 and now i have her eow. The week i hahe her im a responsible father and the next week i go to tinder and fuck sluts raw and drink and to what ever i want.
The thing is.................your daughter will feel the consequences without any doubt. It surprises me when some divorced parents say "I do not regret it at all". Don't be so sure your kids wont.
It is an egoistical thing over all. Merely the genes in a genome (not a genome as a whole btw, but single/separate genes) striving to survive. Pretty fucked up and pretty interesting at the same time. Humans are putting way too much emphasis on it tho', it's an automatic behavior mostly, and most people realize it after the fact (to be honest - most doesn't realize anything at all..) and then try to adapt to it.
-
The thing is.................your daughter will feel the consequences without any doubt. It surprises me when some divorced parents say "I do not regret it at all". Don't be so sure your kids wont.
It is an egoistical thing over all. Merely the genes in a genome (not a genome as a whole btw, but single/separate genes) striving to survive. Pretty fucked up and pretty interesting at the same time. Humans are putting way too much emphasis on it tho', it's an automatic behavior mostly, and most people realize it after the fact (to be honest - most doesn't realize anything at all..) and then try to adapt to it.
Essentially it is a biological trick that overrides the intellectual faculties. It's ingenuous really, the sexual drive provides an extreme reward to the self seeking individual only to lump them with something that requires them to forgo their own needs and interests. Of course people will pat themselves on the back for this and consider themselves better people, but what alternative do they have, spend the rest of their lives berating themselves for being tricked by their own self.
-
I blame the parents for raising their kids to be selfish, parent abandoning, mofos.
By ready I mean, I know for sure 100% I WANT kids. But do I get nervous about it from time to time? Of course! One might say no matter how sure I am about kids, it's inevitable that I will have those feelings. Which then one might translate as "no one is ever ready." My professor used to say "you can't be ready or prepared for something in which you have no experience in." We're talking mentally ready.
You might think the wise, caring and responsible person is ready, but ask them and see what they say.
-
Essentially it is a biological trick that overrides the intellectual faculties. It's ingenuous really, the sexual drive provides an extreme reward to the self seeking individual only to lump them with something that requires them to forgo their own needs and interests. Of course people will pat themselves on the back for this and consider themselves better people, but what alternative do they have, spend the rest of their lives berating themselves for being tricked by their own self.
A person will value anything after putting much time, effort, health and money in it. It could be a pile of shit, but if that's a pile of shit that took ten years to build and sustain - it will be a "great pile of shit" for a builder lol
-
I blame the parents for raising their kids to be selfish, parent abandoning, mofos.
By ready I mean, I know for sure 100% I WANT kids. But do I get nervous about it from time to time? Of course! One might say no matter how sure I am about kids, it's inevitable that I will have those feelings. Which then one might translate as "no one is ever ready." My professor used to say "you can't be ready or prepared for something in which you have no experience in." We're talking mentally ready.
You might think the wise, caring and responsible person is ready, but ask them and see what they say.
It has been shown that when people become parents for the first time their own unconscious memories from their own childhood kick in and they start replaying old records. This is why so many people simply repeat what was done to them without questioning it, so if you were beaten you are more likely to beat your kids, if you were loved, then you are more likely to love your kids. This is why I think those from extremely abusive and dysfunctional homes shouldn't reproduce. Having said that the majority of families are abusive or dysfunctional in some way.
-
A person will value anything after putting much time, effort, health and money in it. It could be a pile of shit, but if that's a pile of shit that took ten years to build and sustain - it will be a "great pile of shit" for a builder lol
exactly
for all those who didn't choose kids, imagine you had spent the last 20+ years being a parent
for all those who chose kids, imagine you had spent the last 20+ years without, developing in other ways
either way, would you regret your decision?
-
It has been shown that when people become parents for the first time their own unconscious memories from their own childhood kick in and they start replaying old records. This is why so many people simply repeat what was done to them without questioning it, so if you were beaten you are more likely to beat your kids, if you were loved, then you are more likely to love your kids. This is why I think those from extremely abusive and dysfunctional homes shouldn't reproduce. Having said that the majority of families are abusive or dysfunctional in some way.
Agree
-
I blame the parents for raising their kids to be selfish, parent abandoning, mofos.
By ready I mean, I know for sure 100% I WANT kids. But do I get nervous about it from time to time? Of course! One might say no matter how sure I am about kids, it's inevitable that I will have those feelings. Which then one might translate as "no one is ever ready." My professor used to say "you can't be ready or prepared for something in which you have no experience in." We're talking mentally ready.
You might think the wise, caring and responsible person is ready, but ask them and see what they say.
good post missy
-
Why the fuck would you marry a woman you didn't intend to impregnate??
x2
Why the fuck would you commit to a serious relationship unless you plan on starting a family?
Surely you are aware that the majority of women will want kids sooner or later?
-
I blame the parents for raising their kids to be selfish, parent abandoning, mofos.
By ready I mean, I know for sure 100% I WANT kids. But do I get nervous about it from time to time? Of course! One might say no matter how sure I am about kids, it's inevitable that I will have those feelings. Which then one might translate as "no one is ever ready." My professor used to say "you can't be ready or prepared for something in which you have no experience in." We're talking mentally ready.
You might think the wise, caring and responsible person is ready, but ask them and see what they say.
Well, those 'parents' are clearly not those wise, caring and responsible individuals I was talking about. Unfortunately the most underdeveloped human beings produce the most kids.
To be honest, I'm not that interested in someone's idealistic idea about having kids, since I don't want them myself.
-
No one should be bringing children into this world with the way the economics are right now. You're only creating more slaves. People are stupid and selfish.
-
No one should be bringing children into this world with the way the economics are right now. You're only creating more slaves. People are stupid and selfish.
And apart from economics, this world is completely fucked up with less decent people then ever, an ecosystem gone to the shitters and a possible WWIII around the corner...
-
why would anyone willingly bring another human being into this POS PC world?
just place the Qur'an in the crib
-
thanks guys. is there any merit to procreating because your partner, who you love, wants to? i know she would be a great mom. is that a reason enough. alot of things we have done so far is because I wanted to...i wanted to move states, so we moved, we vacation where i want to, etc. our life up to this poijnt has been very influenced by what I want....
-
anyone here have kids, but really didnt want them? if so, did you have them because your woman wanted to?
im seriously at zero hour here boys. gotta either tell me wife no i cant do it, and get a divorce and leave her screwed...or give in to her wants and have a kid (s).
having a kid in my situation is the easy way out. but, i dont want to take that route if i still dont think its right for me. im so confused. i have no interest in kids, but i can see how it would be fulfilling too. ahhh i hate this situation so much
Having children with the woman you love and have committed your life to ,for me, is natural progression and an expression of that love and committment. I love being a husband and daddy and there was never a question about the desire to fill that role.
Being a husband and father is a role for a man and it's not a role for 30-40 year old adolescent who happens to be the size and age of a man. Are you a man or an old boy?
Also this site is full of self-indulgent narcissists that openly speak of hating kids and never wanting them. I fully support that. Not saying you're one of them. ...just saying.
-
Having children with the woman you love and have committed your life to ,for me, is natural progression and an expression of that love and committment. I love being a husband and daddy and there was never a question about the desire to fill that role.
Being a husband and father is a role for a man and it's not a role for 30-40 year old adolescent who happens to be the size and age of a man. Are you a man or an old boy?
Also this site is full of self-indulgent narcissists that openly speak of hating kids and never wanting them. I fully support that. Not saying you're one of them. ...just saying.
i am definitely the adolescent you speak of
-
the thing I don't get is this:
if you aren't responsible enough to have a kid then you can, I dunno, just pull out
we live in a world where there is sex information EVERYWHERE yet none of you know how to NOT have a kid apparently
I mean- I've never accidentally got a girl pregnant because I knew better and was always fast on the draw....also, I always wear those super spermicide condoms
I feel a "well, you can't get a guy pregnant so you have nothing to worry about JNN" reply coming
people can say whatever they want about me but I can say two redeeming things about myself:
1) I never lead on women to think that I'm gonna marry them when i'm not ready to be married...I'm ALWAYS upfront about that..In fact, I lost a woman who I consider a "love of my life" because of this
2) I'm not gonna introduce a kid in this world knowing full well that even though I'm 37 I'm still not ready to raise a kid so I don't cum inside of women
-
Having children with the woman you love and have committed your life to ,for me, is natural progression and an expression of that love and committment. I love being a husband and daddy and there was never a question about the desire to fill that role.
Being a husband and father is a role for a man and it's not a role for 30-40 year old adolescent who happens to be the size and age of a man. Are you a man or an old boy?
Also this site is full of self-indulgent narcissists that openly speak of hating kids and never wanting them. I fully support that. Not saying you're one of them. ...just saying.
I often hear this critique, but I do love children. Loving and wanting them however, are two different things.
I'm pretty sure you're a good & happy father :)
-
Having children with the woman you love and have committed your life to ,for me, is natural progression and an expression of that love and committment. I love being a husband and daddy and there was never a question about the desire to fill that role.
Being a husband and father is a role for a man and it's not a role for 30-40 year old adolescent who happens to be the size and age of a man. Are you a man or an old boy?
Also this site is full of self-indulgent narcissists that openly speak of hating kids and never wanting them. I fully support that. Not saying you're one of them. ...just saying.
Says the person who is incapable of living his life without constructing a fictional father figure. getbiggers, oh brother.
Any man who believes in GOD is still a little boy IMO. You become a man when you are prepared to live and die alone, without the need for Daddy, either real or imagined.
-
Take trestolone and tell her you want to try.
-
I often hear this critique, but I do love children. Loving and wanting them however, are two different things.
I'm pretty sure you're a good & happy father :)
He's weak and scared, his kids will grow up to be weak and scared too. He probably thinks he's doing a good job, but being a weak individual he doesn't really know how to raise a strong one (and teaching them to intoxicate themselves with magical thoughts to feel better just doesn't cut it) thus there will be a few more humans who will suffer/be confused in this often cruel and unfair survival game we call "life".
-
Take trestolone and tell her you want to try.
Lmao.. That would be a violent trolling.
-
You'd probably have one of those childhood obesity kids that throws tantrums in stores and strikes out playing tee-ball. ::)
What the fuck us the point of such a spiteful comment? Do you have a personal beef with thong, or something?
Not at all. Thong's ok. But there's no law I have to like his fat, spoiled, uncoodinated, hypothetical kid.
-
Not at all. Thong's ok. But there's no law I have to like his fat, spoiled, uncoodinated, hypothetical kid.
"what are your overheads" is one of their best lines ever.
-
"what are your overheads" is one of their best lines ever.
Thong's brat wouldn't last 2 minutes in that factory. Like the time he was gonna mow that guy's lawn for $5 after school so Thong has to leave work early to drive the kid there. Then the little butterball can't push the mower so Thong ends up mowing the lawn while the kid stands there helpless. And collects the $5! Haha.
Hmm. Kid might go further than I was giving him credit for.
-
i am definitely the adolescent you speak of
To be honest, your willingness to admit that speaks volumes. Tells me you're not as much of that 30-40 year old adolescent as you claim to be.
I can tell you this much. Being a daddy has been the best and most challenging part of my life. Some parts of it come naturally to me and others do not....I'm constantly in "daddy training" and that's alright. When my daughter was born it was amazing and overwhelming and joyous and stressful all at once, but that little girl has brought me tremendous happiness and I can't picture my life without her.
You can still be a daddy and play video games, see friends, watch football, go to the gym, etc.....but yes life does change. For me it changed for the better. For others that have no kids and are ignorant to such things they often attend one kid's birthday party and think, "this is horrible....I never want this". For some folks like a True Adonis who can't stand children I'm 100% behind his decision to NEVER father a child and I mean that. For others it's just fear of the unknown. Still, if you can't find any positivity in your own personal situation of "being a daddy" then don't become one.
Still, if you love your wife....I mean really love your wife.....and she wants children then you really need to step back and ask yourself why you're with this woman.
-
Says the person who is incapable of living his life without constructing a fictional father figure. getbiggers, oh brother.
Any man who believes in GOD is still a little boy IMO. You become a man when you are prepared to live and die alone, without the need for Daddy, either real or imagined.
LOL!!!
-
I blame the parents for raising their kids to be selfish, parent abandoning, mofos.
By ready I mean, I know for sure 100% I WANT kids. But do I get nervous about it from time to time? Of course! One might say no matter how sure I am about kids, it's inevitable that I will have those feelings. Which then one might translate as "no one is ever ready." My professor used to say "you can't be ready or prepared for something in which you have no experience in." We're talking mentally ready.
You might think the wise, caring and responsible person is ready, but ask them and see what they say.
My mother-in-law told me and my wife years ago (when we first got married) to wait and wait until we can't take it anymore to have kiddos. Now, I think we waited a touch long LOL, but that's alright.
I think what you wrote is dead on. I am a daddy and I still get overwhelmed at times and I just have one kiddo, but what a joy that little girl is. She's gonna be 6 years old and she's amazing. To this day I still can't believe "I'm a daddy", but I wouldn't trade it.
I get to enjoy moments like the following with her.....just dancing ;) :
-
anyone here have kids, but really didnt want them? if so, did you have them because your woman wanted to?
im seriously at zero hour here boys. gotta either tell me wife no i cant do it, and get a divorce and leave her screwed...or give in to her wants and have a kid (s).
having a kid in my situation is the easy way out. but, i dont want to take that route if i still dont think its right for me. im so confused. i have no interest in kids, but i can see how it would be fulfilling too. ahhh i hate this situation so much
Been there /done that.
My first wife developed a deep desire to have kids, 3-4 yrs into the marriage.
I never wanted 'em and never changed on that.
It became obvious she really did want children.
Sadly there was no compromise on that, so we divorced.
The desire to raise children is a deeply personal thing.
In my opinion, it's obvious how you feel inside.
The tough thing now is dealing with that harsh truth on both sides.
She will want you to change. She will think you can change.
BUT, reality is a real muthafuka .
All the best. pm me if you want.
-
This should have all been worked out before you two got married. Didn't the conversation about having kids come up before you got married? This isn't something you decide after marriage.
Exactly. This is why some states charge extra for a marriage license, or won't grant one at all, if the couple doesn't show proof that they have completed premarital counseling first.
Couples should seriously discuss many things, in detail, before deciding to get married. Having kids and how they will be raised is one of the most important subjects to discuss before marraige, if not the most important.
-
^^^
Prime example of what I'm talking about.
My gym has child minding. As soon as your kid can hold his or her neck up, you can take them. I would train every morning, take my daughter to the park, feed her, etc. I live in Canada and took some time off for parental leave. But before that, the ex would take care of our daughter. I was able to work, train, party on weekends, do whatever. It's way different if you're a single parent, but if you have two grown ass adults, how the hell can you not be able to take care of a child? It's not that difficult. And if you have family members or friends with kids the same age, you can easily reclaim a lot of lost time. Family members are usually eager because being an aunt/uncle or grandma/grandpa is super rewarding and no drain at all.
The only thing I would caution is the relationship... I'm now divorced and half of my income goes to my ex. You're gonna be stuck with the mother of your child for almost two decades - THAT is the only thing I'll caution you about. Women are all crazy though, so that should go without saying.
Whaca doin there? U trying to encourage or discourage having kids? ;D
-
Rookie advices on get big. Knock her up. First of all it could take you a while to get her preggo. You never know if your boys can swim until you try to knock up a chick. If eventually she does get pregnant, wait until she's about 7 months in and pay a homeless man $20 to run up and dropkick her stomach causing a miscarriage. You fulfilled your part and now you have an excuse to delay having a second try.
Option 2: Secretly get a vasectomy and don't tell her. Fuck her raw and never worry about knocking her up.
-
Rookie advices on get big. Knock her up. First of all it could take you a while to get her preggo. You never know if your boys can swim until you try to knock up a chick. If eventually she does get pregnant, wait until she's about 7 months in and pay a homeless man $20 to run up and dropkick her stomach causing a miscarriage. You fulfilled your part and now you have an excuse to delay having a second try.
Option 2: Secretly get a vasectomy and don't tell her. Fuck her raw and never worry about knocking her up.
Most evil advice of the day...even for White Devil. :-[
-
Yes I do. I'm in the "best thing ever" camp.
Did I know it at before? No. Nobody does. Didn't really care for kids much before either. It's cliche, but you don't know until you do it.
It's personal choice and I don't begrudge those who don't go that route. But they need to shut the fuck up when giving advice they've garnered through their "friends". They probably would be lousy at it anyway. But all this not being able to train, work, have fun, etc is bullshit. Under normal circumstances, it is what you make it to be.
But asking for advice on getbig? Speaks volumes to me.
Either way, man up, make your own decision, and live with it.
Contradiction of peace. :)
-
Exactly. This is why some states charge extra for a marriage license, or won't grant one at all, if the couple doesn't show proof that they have completed marital counseling first.
Couples should seriously discuss many things, in detail, before deciding to get married. Having kids and how they will be raised is one of the most important subjects to discuss before marraige, if not the most important.
Agreed. Too bad in this world marriage isn't a sacred institution anymore....it's just another thing. And when most people get a new thing they play with it at first, eventually get bored with it and then discard/ignore it.
-
Most evil advice of the day...even for White Devil. :-[
Is it more evil than a woman who would stop contraception but not tell her boyfriend/husband so she could get knocked up?
-
Is it more evil than a woman who would stop contraception but not tell her boyfriend/husband so she could get knocked up?
Both are messed up.
-
I have a Two year old with another one on the way...
Here is how it went for me...
Went from sorta wanting...
To not wanting....
To wanting....
Had the baby...
First three months I wanted to do like the movie "300" and kick the kid out, give her a stick to defend herself from wolves! It was hard on me...
3 months onwards.... I'm head over heels in love with my daughter (who is a total daddys girl now) and i would never ever want to go back to my life before.
Having kids is hard as HELL!!! Especially the first three months, that's extra hell... I was asking myself why do people do this a second and third time??? Why!!! All a baby does the first three months, is sleep, eat, shit and cry... And cry and cry and cry and cry... And then you cry because you want to throw yourself off of a building. Those first three months you give give give give give and you get absolutely nothing in return.... Then all of a sudden at around the 3-4 month mark something happens, a switch goes off in the baby, and everything you've given comes back to you 10 folds! You get this love that you have never felt before and you fall in love with the baby.... Imagine the one thing your currently love more than anything else, it could be your car, your wife, your mother, Big Ramy, whatever... But imagine that love... And multiply it by 1,000,000,000.... That's the love you start to feel for your child after the first three months and it only grows exponentially from there.
Look, there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids, and if it's not for you is not for you, and that's ok, but speaking from my own experience I went from hating being a father the first three months to never not wanting to be one.
It's hard and its life changing, but if you and your wife are in a good place together and in a stable marriage, you'll be able to do a great job. Just remember, guys are different... You'll never feel ready to be a father, I know I didn't. But I love it!!!
Good post.
-
My mother-in-law told me and my wife years ago (when we first got married) to wait and wait until we can't take it anymore to have kiddos. Now, I think we waited a touch long LOL, but that's alright.
I think what you wrote is dead on. I am a daddy and I still get overwhelmed at times and I just have one kiddo, but what a joy that little girl is. She's gonna be 6 years old and she's amazing. To this day I still can't believe "I'm a daddy", but I wouldn't trade it.
I get to enjoy moments like the following with her.....just dancing ;) :
Kids for you are your "therapy"/antidepressants, just like religion. Kids are a better therapy tho', the issue here is that you try to cure your own shortcomings and weakness/desperation in this life through them, you probably teach them to be "good" (like Bible preaches), all that religious bullshit, while at the same time you curse them to be as unhappy as you've been most of your life. Getting them drugged with a religion from a get go is an option, but better pray god and hope it does exist if they ever will find out it's all bullshit when grown up, a bullshit that their own parents indulged them in, and people who are relying on flawed paradigms of reality have very little chance to feel content in todays world, in that case they'd resent you and see as a weak/stupid parent that misguided them from the first steps of their life. But it's an egoistical act from a begining (procreating) so I guess you have a justification for this preprogrammed behavior.
Hope this helps
-
Kids for you are your "therapy"/antidepressants, just like religion. Kids are a better therapy tho', the issue here is that you try to cure your own shortcomings and weakness/desperation in this life through them, you probably teach them to be "good" (like Bible preaches), all that religious bullshit, while at the same time you curse them to be as unhappy as you've been most of your life. Getting them drugged with a religion from a get go is an option, but better pray god and hope it does exist if they ever will find out it's all bullshit when grown up, a bullshit that their own parents indulged them in, and people who are relying on flawed paradigms of reality have very little chance to feel content in todays world, in that case they'd resent you and see as a weak/stupid parent that misguided them from the first steps of their life. But it's an egoistical act from a begining (procreating) so I guess you have a justification for this preprogrammed behavior.
Hope this helps
AHAHAAHAHAH!!!
-
Kids for you are your "therapy"/antidepressants, just like religion. Kids are a better therapy tho', the issue here is that you try to cure your own shortcomings and weakness/desperation in this life through them, you probably teach them to be "good" (like Bible preaches), all that religious bullshit, while at the same time you curse them to be as unhappy as you've been most of your life. Getting them drugged with a religion from a get go is an option, but better pray god and hope it does exist if they ever will find out it's all bullshit when grown up, a bullshit that their own parents indulged them in, and people who are relying on flawed paradigms of reality have very little chance to feel content in todays world, in that case they'd resent you and see as a weak/stupid parent that misguided them from the first steps of their life. But it's an egoistical act from a begining (procreating) so I guess you have a justification for this preprogrammed behavior.
Hope this helps
I don't know. Man of Steel seems like one of the happiest, if not the happiest, people here. :-\
-
Contradiction of peace. :)
How is it a contradiction?
Not judging someone's choice and not wanting to hear their opinion on it can be mutually exclusive.
-
MOS, do you take your kids to Church? Are you allowing them to choose their own beliefs and religion?
-
How is it a contradiction?
Not judging someone's choice and not wanting to hear their opinion on it can be mutually exclusive.
Grape Ape: "I don't judge those who choose to remain childless, but they are all selfish SOBs." LOL
Just messin withcha. :)
-
I love it when two guys have to tell people how smart/innovative they are by naming themselves after "thinkers", etc. (Plato and Da Vinci) yet the majority of posts by them sound like they want to shoot themselves in the forehead, etc. and give out the advice/thoughts of a teenage emo.
-
Grape Ape: "I don't judge those who choose to remain childless, but they are all selfish SOBs." LOL
Just messin withcha. :)
No worries, I can see how it could be read that way.
To be clear, I don't judge the CHOICE, but I will judge the shit of the person. ;D
-
MOS, do you take your kids to Church? Are you allowing them to choose their own beliefs and religion?
White Devil, what kind of question is that? Would you allow your little kids to choose their own school, their own doctor, their own medicine, their own food? You have to choose for them until they are grown, then they can choose for themselves.
-
You have to choose for them until they are grown, then they can choose for themselves.
Asian cultures disagree:
(http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/12038790.jpg)
-
How many years have you 2 been married? Is a first for both of you? Was this a discussion before getting married? How old are you two?
How important is this to your wife on a scale of 1-10? Is it a 5 or a 10? How important is it to you not to on a scale of 1-10? You sound like it's a 4-5. If it's a 10 for her, then you owe it to her to either reconsider or let her go. Regardless, couples counseling/premarital counseling (yes premarital) would be a good next step.
-
Asian cultures disagree:
(http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/12038790.jpg)
LOL ;D
-
White Devil, what kind of question is that? Would you allow your little kids to choose their own school, their own doctor, their own medicine, their own food? You have to choose for them until they are grown, then they can choose for themselves.
Yes, but food, medicine, education are not a belief that serves no purpose. Are his children force to believe what he believes?
-
Yes, but food, medicine, education are not a belief that serves no purpose. Are his children force to believe what he believes?
Faith serves a very important purpose for most people around the world. People raised atheist have become religious after they grow up, and vice versa.
-
I don't know. Man of Steel seems like one of the happiest, if not the happiest, people here. :-\
Most alcoholics LOOK happy too...
-
Most alcoholics LOOK happy too...
If you achieve that without alcohol and drugs, what's wrong with that. :)
-
I always wanted to deliver a breach baby while we're all trapped in a caved in tunnel during a natural disaster. And as I'm walking away they're all "Omg, wait! What's your name? We want to name our baby after you!"
I turn and say, "You look after that little bundle of joy, now." Then I just walk off into the unlit tunnel.
(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/004725532/3938679330_Clint_Eastwood___1960s_xlarge.png)
Presumably I find a way out down there because it would be pretty anticlimactic to wander back through again 20 minutes later.
-
Are his children force to believe what he believes?
Epic Star Wars obsession on the brain.
-
MOS, do you take your kids to Church? Are you allowing them to choose their own beliefs and religion?
Yes and yes.
-
I always wanted to deliver a breach baby while we're all trapped in a caved in tunnel during a natural disaster. And as I'm walking away they're all "Omg, wait! What's your name? We want to name our baby after you!"
I turn and say, "You look after that little bundle of joy, now." Then I just walk off into the unlit tunnel.
(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/004725532/3938679330_Clint_Eastwood___1960s_xlarge.png)
Presumably I find a way out down there because it would be pretty anticlimactic to wander back through again 20 minutes later.
LOL, fun, that last one about finding your way out is hilarious ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
Rookie advices on get big. Knock her up. First of all it could take you a while to get her preggo. You never know if your boys can swim until you try to knock up a chick. If eventually she does get pregnant, wait until she's about 7 months in and pay a homeless man $20 to run up and dropkick her stomach causing a miscarriage. You fulfilled your part and now you have an excuse to delay having a second try.
Option 2: Secretly get a vasectomy and don't tell her. Fuck her raw and never worry about knocking her up.
option 3 - all anal, all the time = natures best form of birth control .
Now get to work stretching her fart locker
FYI< I like option 2 above.
-
Yes and yes.
LOL and LOL.
-
LOL and LOL.
If you had replied with "LOL n LOL" you would've had a pallindrome.....next time.
-
good post missy
Thank you! :)
-
My mother-in-law told me and my wife years ago (when we first got married) to wait and wait until we can't take it anymore to have kiddos. Now, I think we waited a touch long LOL, but that's alright.
I think what you wrote is dead on. I am a daddy and I still get overwhelmed at times and I just have one kiddo, but what a joy that little girl is. She's gonna be 6 years old and she's amazing. To this day I still can't believe "I'm a daddy", but I wouldn't trade it.
I get to enjoy moments like the following with her.....just dancing ;) :
Thank you! Time for number 2 ;) beautiful picture!!! Great moment captured.
-
LOL and LOL.
I let my kids decide their own religion, but I take them to church haha lol.
The environment is a powerful thing! When you inundate your child with a particular religion, there is a good probability that they will follow that religion. Neuroscience has shown the way environmental experiences shapes the brain, especially during the younger years. Cognitive schemas, which is a framework for how we see the world, ourselves, and others, is often determined by early experiences and their effects on brain development (i.e., Attachment Theory). As such, indoctrinating a kid with enough of ONE type of religion, you really give them a slim chance in making up their own mind.
I am not speaking as an atheist, but as a "scientist." There is overwhelming evidence that environmental experiences in children will have a drastic impact on their brain development, which will then determine their ideals, values, beliefs (religion), etc.
-
If you achieve that without alcohol and drugs, what's wrong with that. :)
You're still intoxicated, inadequate and smarter ppl will use that against you. At the very least. The worst is when some figure it's all bullshit, a mental breakdown can happen with bad consequences. BUT - I'm all for a religion as a substitute to alcohol or psychotic drugs, was merely saying that weak ppl produce other weak ppl, and they suffer as much usualy, while these who produce them feel like they are "accomplishing" something, when it's often a vice versa situation. Only a select few should reproduce, but the funny thing is - these usualy doesn't want to, while the fools and various kinds of degenerates eagerly spread their genes like cockroaches.
-
I'm 36, I went to a party on the weekend because one of my mates is having a kid (year out of leaving his wife too), another had two kids, a few others had kids. No thanks. I had the chance in the past to be tied down and married a few times which would have ended up with kids and I would not be in the position today making the money I am and being able to still train if i'd done that. I wouldn't have the money and would be fucking stressed out big time, probably not training much, wasting time on bullshit things I don't want to do. But it's up to you everyone is different.
Good thoughtful, honest post!
In my opinion, marriage doesn't have to automatically result in having kids.
My wife and I were both divorced , never had kids and met later in life.
We both had decent careers and I consider her my partner in life.
Having said that, plenty of people have a burning desire to have children .
Being a parent is one the of the greatest joys they will ever experience.
It's a deeply personal question and only YOU know if it's right.
-
1. is unlikely.
I'd go with 3.
Everything else is unacceptable.
That's exactly what I did and ended up getting married with my dream girl, later in life .
Despite some goofy trolling we are still happily married.
-
Man, I've been there. tough tough spot dude. I chose no kids, no marriage and relationship eventually failed. I am soon to be 43 and question if I did the right thing sometimes. And you know what I think for men like us you are damned if you do damned if you don't, whatever decision you make will possibly feel like the wrong one at times and the right one at others. Just be sure whatever decision you make to commit to it, wavering in your decision will only torment you. (PS, my girlfriend had huge huge titties, trust me, they eventually sag - a lot)
My ex went on to start banging a 25 year old and he can have her. After 12 years I had enough and she busted my balls so much it was a relief to see the back of her. Some days I get sentimental and think of her but not often anymore. I live alone now and for the most part I really love it, but this too has it's moments. Life wasn't meant to be easy dude.
I got divorced from my 1st wife for the same reason and it was tough.
Today, I have zero regrets and know I did the right thing instead of just going with the flow.
I spent several nights alone and wondering WTF ???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, I was driving into work and the sun was just coming up .
Damn, it looked pretty.
I accelerated on to the hwy and just knew I was going to be ok from that pt on.
-
Its funny when people like radical plato who lives in a basement more or less calls people idiots because they got kids....he is so miswrable of his own life that it didnt turned out as he tought so raggin on others that have the life he imagined makes him feel better
Look at dp he totaly understands why people want kids but he knows its just not for him and i totally understand people like him. Nothing wrong with not wanting to have having kidd
-
thanks man. been there done that on giving it time. pretty much ultimatum time now for her. she is barely 30, but she thinks she needs to do it now. ive been wishy washy on it for the last year or so. she is tired of the shit.
Holy shit, that was the exact same age my 1st wife started in on me.
Like you I waffled for a bit and really loved her.
But here's the final deal, had we stayed married:
I didn't want to be a father and would have been forced into it and felt resentment.
She would have been forced to give up on motherhood and resented the hell out of me.
The only sensible thing to do was treat each other with dignity , respect and get a divorce.
I never had regrets once I made the call.
-
Why the fuck would you marry a woman you didn't intend to impregnate??
I don't think anyone should get married and have kids. 100% serious
I enjoy being partners and am happily married to my current wife .
Why does marriage have to result in kids?
-
I have a Two year old with another one on the way...
Here is how it went for me...
Went from sorta wanting...
To not wanting....
To wanting....
Had the baby...
First three months I wanted to do like the movie "300" and kick the kid out, give her a stick to defend herself from wolves! It was hard on me...
3 months onwards.... I'm head over heels in love with my daughter (who is a total daddys girl now) and i would never ever want to go back to my life before.
Having kids is hard as HELL!!! Especially the first three months, that's extra hell... I was asking myself why do people do this a second and third time??? Why!!! All a baby does the first three months, is sleep, eat, shit and cry... And cry and cry and cry and cry... And then you cry because you want to throw yourself off of a building. Those first three months you give give give give give and you get absolutely nothing in return.... Then all of a sudden at around the 3-4 month mark something happens, a switch goes off in the baby, and everything you've given comes back to you 10 folds! You get this love that you have never felt before and you fall in love with the baby.... Imagine the one thing your currently love more than anything else, it could be your car, your wife, your mother, Big Ramy, whatever... But imagine that love... And multiply it by 1,000,000,000.... That's the love you start to feel for your child after the first three months and it only grows exponentially from there.
Look, there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids, and if it's not for you is not for you, and that's ok, but speaking from my own experience I went from hating being a father the first three months to never not wanting to be one.
It's hard and its life changing, but if you and your wife are in a good place together and in a stable marriage, you'll be able to do a great job. Just remember, guys are different... You'll never feel ready to be a father, I know I didn't. But I love it!!!
Good honest, sincere post from a man who loves being a father.
Glad you added the stress and sleepless nights as a reality to experience along with the love.
-
x2
Why the fuck would you commit to a serious relationship unless you plan on starting a family?
Surely you are aware that the majority of women will want kids sooner or later?
I disagree 100%.
To me, it makes more sense to become loving partners in the game of life.
Kids are work, $ and stress.
Why not avoid that and cherish loving another productive person you want to build a life with?
-
In my opinion, marriage doesn't have to automatically result in having kids.
My wife and I were both divorced , never had kids and met later in life.
We both had decent careers and I consider her my partner in life.
Having said that, plenty of people have a burning desire to have children .
Being a parent is one the of the greatest joys they will ever experience.
It's a deeply personal question and only YOU know if it's right.
(http://preview.images.memegenerator.net/Instance/Preview?imageID=2729805&generatorTypeID=&panels=&text0=How%20interesting%20Howard&text1=Why%20don%27t%20you%20tell%20us%20this%20another%20thousand%20times%3F&text2=&text3=)
-
I spent several nights alone and wondering WTF ???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, I was driving into work and the sun was just coming up .
Damn, it looked pretty.
I accelerated on to the hwy and just knew I was going to be ok from that pt on.
Lol.. that's the spirit. Usualy how it goes for me when it's a "bad" time.
-
Its funny when people like radical plato who lives in a basement more or less calls people idiots because they got kids....he is so miswrable of his own life that it didnt turned out as he tought so raggin on others that have the life he imagined makes him feel better
Look at dp he totaly understands why people want kids but he knows its just not for him and i totally understand people like him. Nothing wrong with not wanting to have having kidd
Thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah, I'm more and more aware of the fact we all follow our own individual route, based on a set of variables like genetics/personality, instinct, upbringing, friends, etc.., I don't have a problem with people with a child wish, as long as they're wise and responsible enough to take good care.
-
Grape Ape: "I don't judge those who choose to remain childless, but they are all selfish SOBs." LOL
Just messin withcha. :)
I always thought having children in this day and age was the most selfish thing anybody could do. It isn't like we need more people and the resources already stretched thin to the ground now, so if people aren't having them to benefit the rest of us, who are they having them for? Remaining childless is an altruistic act.
-
I love it when two guys have to tell people how smart/innovative they are by naming themselves after "thinkers", etc. (Plato and Da Vinci) yet the majority of posts by them sound like they want to shoot themselves in the forehead, etc. and give out the advice/thoughts of a teenage emo.
There just names on a forum dude, only idiots take them seriously. And I haven't been handing out advice in this thread, just stating my opinion, so not sure what you have been reading and none of which would indicate a desire to shoot myself in the head, quite the opposite. And the only ones sounding suicidal/homicidal are some of the parents, which is to be expected of course. ;D
-
I really want to have a son some day, but I don't want to get married ever. I'm a loner at heart, and never want to deal with living with a woman and have my life controlled and do things I don't want to do to please my wife. I hope it is possible to adopt a child as a single man.
-
You're still intoxicated, inadequate and smarter ppl will use that against you. At the very least. The worst is when some figure it's all bullshit, a mental breakdown can happen with bad consequences. BUT - I'm all for a religion as a substitute to alcohol or psychotic drugs, was merely saying that weak ppl produce other weak ppl, and they suffer as much usualy, while these who produce them feel like they are "accomplishing" something, when it's often a vice versa situation. Only a select few should reproduce, but the funny thing is - these usualy doesn't want to, while the fools and various kinds of degenerates eagerly spread their genes like cockroaches.
This is so true, the people who least should be reproducing do so the most. They even made a movie about this called 'Idiocracy", a dystopian future where virtually every one is a complete idiot. Kind of like a real life version of getbig. ;D
-
I really want to have a son some day, but I don't want to get married ever. I'm a loner at heart, and never want to deal with living with a woman and have my life controlled and do things I don't want to do to please my wife. I hope it is possible to adopt a child as a single man.
You're kidding right, you have two strikes against when adopting 1) single and even worse 2) You're a MAN
-
I always thought having children in this day and age was the most selfish thing anybody could do. It isn't like we need more people and the resources already stretched thin to the ground now, so if people aren't having them to benefit the rest of us, who are they having them for? Remaining childless is an altruistic act.
Yes, we all agree you choosing to end your bloodline is altruistic.
-
You're kidding right, you have two strikes against when adopting 1) single and even worse 2) You're a MAN
Ya, it sucks. Only thing going for me is I have a pretty good income.
-
http://www.amazon.com/Men-Strike-Boycotting-Marriage-Fatherhood/dp/1594037620
-
Some one added a good question about how long you two have been married for? This makes a difference.
We were married for 7 years before having kids. And before marriage we dated for like 6 years on and off. That definitely helps with the "feeling ready" factor.
-
Its funny when people like radical plato who lives in a basement more or less calls people idiots because they got kids....he is so miswrable of his own life that it didnt turned out as he tought so raggin on others that have the life he imagined makes him feel better
Look at dp he totaly understands why people want kids but he knows its just not for him and i totally understand people like him. Nothing wrong with not wanting to have having kidd
from the respective member's posting history, how are you able to predict that radical plato has a low socio-economic status? Has he disclosed details about his private life?
-
a few radical plato posts that support my previously mentioned theory:
Their is something seriously wrong with this Hank Wood, Like bodybuilders are the only self obsessed narcissistic individuals on the planet, Look around, almost everyone you meet is self obsessed, to make a living these days, to succeed in any career you need to focus almost entirely on that career at the expense of wife, family and friends. Judging by your posts Hank, you appear to be very self obsessed, Why aren't you out doing charity work at the local hospital if community service is what you preach instead of spewing bullshit all over these boards, writing like you have some monopoly on the truth. Your inferiority complex is evident in every post you make, I don't think your in any position to psychologically analyse anybody considering the fragility of your own psyche. I have noticed that you have never responded to any of my critique's of your posts, are you afraid to take on someone who may stand up to you or is it easier to cowardly attack those not present.
Einstein said "Imagination is more important than intelligence". Sami is lucky, as he has a great imagination
E-Kul is not Lee, Just a fan Of Lee's from Australia. I am supportive of Lee's cause as I want to see him continue to compete in the IFBB. He is the only real competitive bodybuilder we have from down under, and without Lee competing, I would lose interest in the sport. I watched Lee compete when he won the Australian Grand Prix in Melbourne, and he was without a doubt the most popular athlete there. He was also in fantastic shape, and went above and beyond the call of duty spending time with fans chatting, signing his autograph and participating in photo opportunities. In relation to Lee's attacks on the IFBB, I think some of the problem is a cultural one, in Australia we aren't so sensitive about criticism, if anything it is welcome, as we like to hear everyones opinions, good and bad. Criticism from others is an opportunity for growth, it reminds us not to take life so seriously and reduces our arrogance and bigotry.
-
Yes, we all agree you choosing to end your bloodline is altruistic.
Well I come from an incredibly large family, so sorry to inform you that the bloodline will carry on for some time yet. Not that I care,my ego isn't so large that I am concerned with what happens after I am gone. The human race is eventually doomed anyway, it will just deteriorate exponentially quicker because morons outbreed everyone else.
-
Well I come from an incredibly large family, so sorry to inform you that the bloodline will carry on for some time yet. Not that I care,my ego isn't so large that I am concerned with what happens after I am gone. The human race is eventually doomed anyway, it will just deteriorate exponentially quicker because morons outbreed everyone else.
your 12k Getbig posts will live on forever. Wiggs will make a device containing all the Getbig posts and he will present it to the residents of Nibiru. There, he will become the royal emperor's head nurse.
-
a few radical plato posts that support my previously mentioned theory:
Jesus H Christ, posts from 2007. Even I can't be fucked trawling through the 12,000 plus posts I have made. But it is good to read actually, it gives me some idea how much my thinking has changed and where it is still the same.
I loved Hank Wood, not sure if he was a gimmick or not, but he was a master troller.
-
your 12k Getbig posts will live on forever. Wiggs will make a device containing all the Getbig posts and he will present it to the residents of Nibiru. There, he will become the royal emperor's head nurse.
I thought Nibiru was going to destroy Earth?
-
That's a joke right. That rarely happens in the West, children abandon their parents and they often die alone after a long bout of loneliness.
I believe that I am one of those rare examples where my children are here for me in everyway. I will not die alone and lonely, just as my wife didn't, thanks to their caring and loving devotion to us. Not only do my biological children call me dad, but so do their spouses. My four grandchildren call me "gramps". It feels great to be privileged as to be thought of as such. When he starts talking, my great grandson will be another family member to call me great grampa.
-
It has been shown that when people become parents for the first time their own unconscious memories from their own childhood kick in and they start replaying old records. This is why so many people simply repeat what was done to them without questioning it, so if you were beaten you are more likely to beat your kids, if you were loved, then you are more likely to love your kids. This is why I think those from extremely abusive and dysfunctional homes shouldn't reproduce. Having said that the majority of families are abusive or dysfunctional in some way.
This depends on what one derives from their dysfunctional family. Some of us work to create the exact opposite of what we experienced as kids. I am not personally familiar with physical abuse, not having ever been physically abused and not having abused my children. I do remember reciting those annoying little clichés which I said I never would to my children.
-
exactly
for all those who didn't choose kids, imagine you had spent the last 20+ years being a parent
for all those who chose kids, imagine you had spent the last 20+ years without, developing in other ways
either way, would you regret your decision?
I do not believe in regrets....so no, I do not regret choosing to have a family.
-
why would anyone willingly bring another human being into this POS PC world?
just place the Qur'an in the crib
To contribute something positive to the sadly negative world we live in today. It's called hope.
-
thanks guys. is there any merit to procreating because your partner, who you love, wants to? i know she would be a great mom. is that a reason enough. alot of things we have done so far is because I wanted to...i wanted to move states, so we moved, we vacation where i want to, etc. our life up to this poijnt has been very influenced by what I want....
It might be time for you to give something back to this person who has supported you and what you want. Don't feel bad though, a lot of women still look to the man to make decisions about the kinds of things you mentioned.
-
i am definitely the adolescent you speak of
You could be right, but it is more likely you are wrong. Folks who fall into that category rarely acknowledge their shortcomings. You doing so is actually a sign of maturity.
-
Some wise words from primemuscle.
Yes have children - there maybe a few regrets / and hard times here and there.
The Love & The Great Times More Than Make & Out Weigh Them.
How did we all get here, I'm sure some of our parents had doubts.
Go ahead & Enjoy.
-
Been there /done that.
My first wife developed a deep desire to have kids, 3-4 yrs into the marriage.
I never wanted 'em and never changed on that.
It became obvious she really did want children.
Sadly there was no compromise on that, so we divorced.
The desire to raise children is a deeply personal thing.
In my opinion, it's obvious how you feel inside.
The tough thing now is dealing with that harsh truth on both sides.
She will want you to change. She will think you can change.
BUT, reality is a real muthafuka .
All the best. pm me if you want.
In my opinion, you are reading too much of yourself into Thong's posts. It seems fairly obvious how he feels inside and that's unsure about what he wants. Otherwise he wouldn't be asking a bunch of strangers what he should do.
-
option 3 - all anal, all the time = natures best form of birth control .
Now get to work stretching her fart locker
FYI< I like option 2 above.
How about you show your wife what you posted here? If there is any truth in this, she'd be wise to leave you. It appears that you have no respect for women at all.
-
Holy shit, that was the exact same age my 1st wife started in on me.
Like you I waffled for a bit and really loved her.
But here's the final deal, had we stayed married:
I didn't want to be a father and would have been forced into it and felt resentment.
She would have been forced to give up on motherhood and resented the hell out of me.
The only sensible thing to do was treat each other with dignity , respect and get a divorce.
I never had regrets once I made the call.
So the call was yours and yours alone to make, I presume.
-
Love it PrimeMuscle. Thanks for the posts!
-
I don't think anyone should get married and have kids. 100% serious
I enjoy being partners and am happily married to my current wife .
Why does marriage have to result in kids?
It doesn't. My sister-in-law and her husband have been married for a very long time. Neither of them wanted children. They seem to be very content with their lives. Point is they made this decision together before they married.
While the world is overrun with people, so there is merit in producing less of them at this point. However if no one reproduced humans would be non-existent in a few generations.
-
I really want to have a son some day, but I don't want to get married ever. I'm a loner at heart, and never want to deal with living with a woman and have my life controlled and do things I don't want to do to please my wife. I hope it is possible to adopt a child as a single man.
It is, if you are willing to adopt a child who is not perfect and not an infant. If you want the whole experience of raising a child from birth, you could chose to have a surrogate carry your child until it is born.
-
Some one added a good question about how long you two have been married for? This makes a difference.
We were married for 7 years before having kids. And before marriage we dated for like 6 years on and off. That definitely helps with the "feeling ready" factor.
It still boils down to maturity. My wife and I were married a little over a year before she got pregnant. We'd been married almost exactly two years when our son was born. As with many young couples, we weren't financially sound when he was young. it didn't hurt him. He's both successful and has been happily married for the last 28 years. He will be fifty next October.
-
having kids out of wedlock is stupid right next to getting married
-
To contribute something positive to the sadly negative world we live in today. It's called hope.
So you believe willingly inflicting unnecessary suffering on an innocent being is OK because it gives you hope. Righty O then, got it.
-
This depends on what one derives from their dysfunctional family. Some of us work to create the exact opposite of what we experienced as kids. I am not personally familiar with physical abuse, not having ever been physically abused and not having abused my children. I do remember reciting those annoying little clichés which I said I never would to my children.
Well, I am all too familiar with an abusive and dysfunctional upbringing, and it put me off having children for good. My Mother and Father separated after 44 years, she could no longer tolerate his abuse. My Mother's father was an animal, incredibly abusive and my Mother always said she had children (5 of them) because she thought she could do better. Guess what? She couldn't. I knew I couldn't do better, I mean how could I given the example I was modelled. Sadly even insight isn't always enough, most people simply unconsciously repeat what was done to them, hence the reason the world is such a fucked up place. The only HOPE for the planet is if adults start advocating for children, but because most people think they are well when they are not and never even think there's a problem. Children are the most vulnerable people in our community and sadly the most poorly treated.
Most people don't seriously analyse their childhood and most societies place little value on researching child rearing and it's impact on future development. Take corporal punishment for example, still legal in many places across the globe. I have no idea why people would have children only to beat them, most people have never even thought about what is the best way to raise a child, they just REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT. Parents are supposed to protect their children from abuse, and yet many of them consider abuse a form of protection, terribly sad. That's the biggest problem with childhood abuse, is that adults simply repeat it and often don't even think it is abuse.
I would recommend any getbigger here taking the plunge into parenthood to read the works of Alice Miller, it could only make them a better parent. I Imagine reading her books would be too confronting for most getbiggers who are obviously damaged from their own childhoods, hence the reason they spend a lot of time weight training and posting on a bodybuilding forum. ;D
http://www.alice-miller.com/en/ (http://www.alice-miller.com/en/)
-
Most people don't seriously analyse their childhood and most societies place little value on researching child rearing and it's impact on future development.
Yes, it is very important to analyze and finally get rid of your childhood crap.
-
I do not believe in regrets....so no, I do not regret choosing to have a family.
Yeah, but your children might regret your decision.
-
Yes, it is very important to analyze and finally get rid of your childhood crap.
Yeah, but it's not so easy to get rid of. This is why childhood abuse is considered so damaging. It is more a case of managing it than getting rid of it. And this is why criminals in jail will kill child abusers because they know the reason they ended up in jail was because of mistreatment from their own childhoods. In some cases abuse is so bad that the person is broken, unfixable. Alice Miller researched serial killers and found almost all of them suffered serious childhood abuse. Almost always whenever you hear of a dictator, or psychopath or just evil human being you can guarantee it is the result of child abuse, whether it is acknowledged or not.
-
Yes, it is very important to analyze and finally get rid of your childhood crap.
No one gets rid of their "childhood" crap. Many of your behaviors that you currently display are determined by your early experiences, both good and bad. Who you become is largely shaped in childhood.
From a trauma perspective, no child "gets rid of it." You can't forget about being abused. How does one forget about it? You can't. You learn to integrate and understand the experience and place the trauma within a narrative that is congruent with ones self (cohesive self-identity). As such, you learn to manage, understand, and integrate the traumatic experience into your self.
-
No one gets rid of their "childhood" crap. Many of your behaviors that you currently display are determined by your early experiences, both good and bad. Who you become is largely shaped in childhood.
From a trauma perspective, no child "gets rid of it." You can't forget about being abused. How does one forget about it? You can't. You learn to integrate and understand the experience and place the trauma within a narrative that is congruent with ones self (cohesive self-identity). As such, you learn to manage, understand, and integrate the traumatic experience into your self.
Did you experience abuse as a child SF1900? (That you are consciously aware of)
-
No one gets rid of their "childhood" crap. Many of your behaviors that you currently display are determined by your early experiences, both good and bad. Who you become is largely shaped in childhood.
From a trauma perspective, no child "gets rid of it." You can't forget about being abused. How does one forget about it? You can't. You learn to integrate and understand the experience and place the trauma within a narrative that is congruent with ones self (cohesive self-identity). As such, you learn to manage, understand, and integrate the traumatic experience into your self.
Maybe i put that wrong.
Basically I meant:
Getting rid of the negative influence over you.
Getting rid of unconscious behaviour related to your childhood.
And so on...
-
Maybe i put that wrong.
Basically I meant:
Getting rid of the negative influence over you.
Getting rid of unconscious behaviour related to your childhood.
And so on...
Most of our life is unconscious. A perfect joke about the unconscious. Two goldfish are swimming in a bowl, and one goldfish turns to the other goldfish and says, "How's the water?" The other goldfish responds, "What water?" The goldfish has been swimming in water for so long, that he does not realize he's swimming in water. Similarly, for so long, we swim in our own unconscious, that we do not realize how it affects us. There is much work being done in the areas of neuroscience and the unconscious.
I 100% agree with you that part of understanding traumatic experiences is making the unconscious conscious. Listen, we are ALL wounded. No one comes out of life unscathed. We are just wounded in different ways, and some more than others. Understanding the link between early wounds and current behavior is paramount. However, it doesn't stop there. There is a psychiatrist, Bessel van der Kolk, who has been doing great work with the body regarding trauma. Traumatic experiences are just not stored in our memories; the brain stores traumatic experiences bodily. This is why when someone experiences a sight or smell that reminds them of a traumatic experience, they experience physiological symptoms. Trauma is stored bodily. Much of van der Kolk's work has been relying on yoga, meditation, and other bodily activities to control the physiological responses associated with trauma. He just wrote a book, "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma." Thus, healing from trauma encompasses two prongs: making the unconscious conscious and mastery over the body, i.e., mastering a physiological system that is out of control due to traumatic experiences.
-
Did you experience abuse as a child SF1900? (That you are consciously aware of)
Fuck off. Try to troll someone else, because I don't fall for your pathetic attempts at trolling, which is why I ignore all of your posts when you respond to me. You're either going to be largely civil or largely a troll; based on your posts, its largely the latter. As such, I will not play into your petty attempts at trolling. Even when I tried to be civil and provide you with information about the philosophical doctrine of "Absurdism," you were still a dick the next day. So, you can kindly fuck off, and I will go back to ignoring you.
Thanks.
Your friend,
SF1900
ps - self-imposed meltdown
(https://mutantacademyhartford.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/meltdown.jpg)
-
Fuck off. Try to troll someone else, because I don't fall for your pathetic attempts at trolling, which is why I ignore all of your posts when you respond to me. You're either going to be largely civil or largely a troll; based on your posts, its largely the latter. As such, I will not play into your petty attempts at trolling. Even when I tried to be civil and provide you with information about the philosophical doctrine of "Absurdism," you were still a dick the next day. So, you can kindly fuck off, and I will go back to ignoring you.
Thanks.
Your friend,
SF1900
ps - self-imposed meltdown
(https://mutantacademyhartford.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/meltdown.jpg)
I'll take that as a yes. ;D
Oh, and was that you who put me onto absurdism, that topic really resonated with me. And I don;t pay attention to who posts what, I don't try and make friends I just respond to the message and not the messenger.
This is why I sometimes say I prefer to be hated, then there is no obligation to be false or fake. This whole political correctness debacle is born out of seeking the approval of others.
-
Most of our life is unconscious. A perfect joke about the unconscious. Two goldfish are swimming in a bowl, and one goldfish turns to the other goldfish and says, "How's the water?" The other goldfish responds, "What water?" The goldfish has been swimming in water for so long, that he does not realize he's swimming in water. Similarly, for so long, we swim in our own unconscious, that we do not realize how it affects us. There is much work being done in the areas of neuroscience and the unconscious.
I 100% agree with you that part of understanding traumatic experiences is making the unconscious conscious. Listen, we are ALL wounded. No one comes out of life unscathed. We are just wounded in different ways, and some more than others. Understanding the link between early wounds and current behavior is paramount. However, it doesn't stop there. There is a psychiatrist, Bessel van der Kolk, who has been doing great work with the body regarding trauma. Traumatic experiences are just not stored in our memories; the brain stores traumatic experiences bodily. This is why when someone experiences a sight or smell that reminds them of a traumatic experience, they experience physiological symptoms. Trauma is stored bodily. Much of van der Kolk's work has been relying on yoga, meditation, and other bodily activities to control the physiological responses associated with trauma. He just wrote a book, "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma." Thus, healing from trauma encompasses two prongs: making the unconscious conscious and mastery over the body, i.e., mastering a physiological system that is out of control due to traumatic experiences.
I will look into him, I have read a lot of the work of ALice Miller who talks about the same thing, she even wrote a book called "The body never lies" that talks about the connection between physical ailments and past unresolved or unconscious traumas.
http://www.alice-miller.com/en/the-body-never-lies-2/ (http://www.alice-miller.com/en/the-body-never-lies-2/)
-
I'll take that as a yes. ;D
Oh, and was that you who put me onto absurdism, that topic really resonated with me. And I don;t pay attention to who posts what, I don't try and make friends I just respond to the message and not the messenger.
This is why I sometimes say I prefer to be hated, then there is no obligation to be false or fake. This whole political correctness debacle is born out of seeking the approval of others.
Poor attempts at trolling. I am not going to talk about my personal life on here. So, you will not know whether or not I experienced any trauma. Plain and simple.
However, from a professional/career standpoint, you probably have a good idea what I am in school for/what my career is, just based on my above posts. It doesn't take a genius to put 2 and 2 together. Thus, you can probably figure out why I know so much about trauma.
ps - Ive read most works by Alice Miller. Yes, it was me who put you onto "absurdism."
-
Most of our life is unconscious. A perfect joke about the unconscious. Two goldfish are swimming in a bowl, and one goldfish turns to the other goldfish and says, "How's the water?" The other goldfish responds, "What water?" The goldfish has been swimming in water for so long, that he does not realize he's swimming in water. Similarly, for so long, we swim in our own unconscious, that we do not realize how it affects us. There is much work being done in the areas of neuroscience and the unconscious.
I 100% agree with you that part of understanding traumatic experiences is making the unconscious conscious. Listen, we are ALL wounded. No one comes out of life unscathed. We are just wounded in different ways, and some more than others. Understanding the link between early wounds and current behavior is paramount. However, it doesn't stop there. There is a psychiatrist, Bessel van der Kolk, who has been doing great work with the body regarding trauma. Traumatic experiences are just not stored in our memories; the brain stores traumatic experiences bodily. This is why when someone experiences a sight or smell that reminds them of a traumatic experience, they experience physiological symptoms. Trauma is stored bodily. Much of van der Kolk's work has been relying on yoga, meditation, and other bodily activities to control the physiological responses associated with trauma. He just wrote a book, "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma." Thus, healing from trauma encompasses two prongs: making the unconscious conscious and mastery over the body, i.e., mastering a physiological system that is out of control due to traumatic experiences.
Thanks.
I will look into it.
-
Poor attempts at trolling. I am not going to talk about my personal life on here. So, you will not know whether or not I experienced any trauma. Plain and simple.
However, from a professional/career standpoint, you probably have a good idea what I am in school for/what my career is, just based on my above posts. It doesn't take a genius to put 2 and 2 together. Thus, you can probably figure out why I know so much about trauma.
ps - Ive read most works by Alice Miller. Yes, it was me who put you onto "absurdism."
So if I apologise for hurting your feelings will you be my friend again?
(http://ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i54/2/10/18/frabz-Wanna-be-friends-I-like-friends-e5bb51.jpg)
Yeah, and I try not to talk too much about my personal life on here. Better for others to assume I am a loser than for me to remove any doubt. ;D
-
Thanks.
I will look into it.
Another good book is called, "Ghosts from the Nursery."
Check out the ACE study, which is one of the largest investigations ever conducted to assess associations between childhood maltreatment and later-life health and well-being.
http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/
-
Another good book is called, "Ghosts from the Nursery."
Check out the ACE study, which is one of the largest investigations ever conducted to assess associations between childhood maltreatment and later-life health and well-being.
http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/
Ok.
Will do.
-
So if I apologise for hurting your feelings will you be my friend again?
(http://ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i54/2/10/18/frabz-Wanna-be-friends-I-like-friends-e5bb51.jpg)
You didn't hurt my feelings, cupcake. We all troll here (me included), however, the same people that troll are the same people that can also have a serious conversation. You're pretty much incapable of having a serious conversation for more than a minute. So, it has nothing to do with hurt feelings. Im just NOT going to respond to people who consistently try to waste my time.
-
You didn't hurt my feelings, cupcake. We all troll here (me included), however, the same people that troll are the same people that can also have a serious conversation. You're pretty much incapable of having a serious conversation for more than a minute. So, it has nothing to do with hurt feelings. Im just NOT going to respond to people who consistently try to waste my time.
Well, perhaps you mistake my serious conversation for trolling, it happens all the time. And I like it when you call me cupcake makes me feel all lovey dovey. ;D I just happen to have extreme views. As someone who would prefer an anarchistic society and a constant state of revolution and who often tells people I look forward to a fiery apocalypse and the destruction of the modern world I can understand why you think I was a troll. I just think people are better human beings when the masses suffer. People are complete cun+s during times of prosperity.
-
Well, since you listed certain aspects, if you get her pregnant her "aspects" will become larger. So, that is a plus in having kids. Plus, you get the teach the young man (if it is a boy) all the things to avoid in today's world, and teach him how to be the man you are not. Revel in the fact that he will be better than you.
If it is a girl, teach her how to avoid men like you. Revel in the fact that she will find a man far better you ever could be.
So, say yes to the BMC way tonight.
Brutal ownage :o
-
Well, perhaps you mistake my serious conversation for trolling, it happens all the time. And I like it when you call me cupcake makes me feel all lovey dovey. ;D I just happen to have extreme views. As someone who would prefer an anarchistic society and a constant state of revolution and who often tells people I look forward to a fiery apocalypse and the destruction of the modern world I can understand why you think I was a troll. I just think people are better human beings when the masses suffer. People are complete cun+s during times of prosperity.
So be it. To each their own.
-
So be it. To each their own.
Let's use a hypothetical to demonstrate, whenever a minority suffers, let's say abused children. There suffering is compounded by the majority not being able to understand their negative life experiences as a result of that abuse, with the exception of those who study the matter. Now if all children were abused there would be a greater incentive to stamp out the practise altogether, because everyone would grow up and understand how detrimental it was to the enjoyment of their lives. So human beings only do the right thing when it benefits them. Rather than say "there but for the grace of God go I", they say "Better them than me". Hence the reason I believe that although paradoxical, human beings would be better off after a cataclysmic failure of the current system caused by mass devastation, since this would cause the survivors to suffer pretty much equally, people would suddenly find their humanity, hence be better off.
-
Let's use a hypothetical to demonstrate, whenever a minority suffers, let's say abused children. There suffering is compounded by the majority not being able to understand their negative life experiences as a result of that abuse, with the exception of those who study the matter. Now if all children were abused there would be a greater incentive to stamp out the practise altogether, because everyone would grow up and understand how detrimental it was to the enjoyment of their lives. So human beings only do the right thing when it benefits them. Rather than say "there but for the grace of God go I", they say "Better them than me". Hence the reason I believe that although paradoxical, human beings would be better off after a cataclysmic failure of the current system caused by mass devastation, since this would cause the survivors to suffer pretty much equally, people would suddenly find their humanity, hence be better off.
In simple lay terms, you're really just talking about the whole "shoe on the other foot." People have a problem with empathy. We live in a VERY individualistic world. We don't have a sense of community. We have a real problem with the "other." Its something we struggle with our whole lives, i.e., how do we assert our individual, autonomous selves, while still being connected to a large group (marriage, family, community). We have advanced so far as humans because we evolved to live in groups. Its a fact. During Prehistoric times, Ancient times, and middle ages (3 major timelines in history), we functioned and thrived in groups. However, group cohesion began to deteriorate for many reasons (industrial revolution, urban communities, centralized state). We have lost those roots, and as such, we have a problem understanding another persons suffering. When people lived in groups, they supported and cared for each other. Now, most people do not even know their neighbors who live 6 houses away from them.
-
In simple lay terms, you're really just talking about the whole "shoe on the other foot." People have a problem with empathy. We live in a VERY individualistic world. We don't have a sense of community. We have a real problem with the "other." Its something we struggle with our whole lives, i.e., how do we assert our individual, autonomous selves, while still being connected to a large group (marriage, family, community). We have advanced so far as humans because we evolved to live in groups. Its a fact. During Prehistoric times, Ancient times, and middle ages (3 major timelines in history), we functioned and thrived in groups. However, group cohesion began to deteriorate for many reasons (industrial revolution, urban communities, centralized state). We have lost those roots, and as such, we have a problem understanding another persons suffering. When people lived in groups, they supported and cared for each other. Now, most people do not even know their neighbors who live 6 houses away from them.
Yes I am aware, but you don't offer a solution like I have, just point to the problem.
-
Yes I am aware, but you don't offer a solution like I have, just point to the problem.
Well, I will have to offer one tomorrow, since it's 2:00am in NYC.
-
from the respective member's posting history, how are you able to predict that radical plato has a low socio-economic status? Has he disclosed details about his private life?
dude yes he have..alittle to much to lål
-
dude yes he have..alittle to much to lål
lol
-
Having kids is unethical at it's core if you think about it. yet ppl rationalize their instinct, they use it to escape the possible awareness of purposelesness of their life and actions. Only strong can face the harsh truth, and only strongest doesn't off themselves in the process. It takes quite some balls to acknowledge the reality and hidden workings of it. Better not to, probably, like a cat or dog, just procereate and die with no conscience, as the end result is pretty much the same.
I find it funny how many ppl are not self critical, I mean - when I look around I see quite some unlucky ppl, some short, some deformed in various ways, bald, ugly, unhealthy from a get go, from dysfunctional families, with no real sense of how to raise a strong individual that will suffer as less as possible, etc, etc.. yet somehow... majority of them justify their urge to procreate, without even thinking of what they will transfer to these new bodies and "souls".