Dear Harley,
Although I tend to be a pessimist, have little hope for the future of our country, and believe that the bad, evil and injustice in this world far outweigh the good; I have always been fortunate in that I can't ever remember being depressed ever in my life. Sure I get discourage and I tend to harbor grudges not only with people, but with life circumstances and even with God. I so hate the needless suffering and injustice in this world
I think it was because from an early age it was always pounded into me to be grateful. That no matter how bad I think I have it others have it way worse. My mother, who came from a third world country, use to tell me when I would complain about how bad things are that I have no idea, not the slightest clue, what real suffering is like. That just being born in America put me head and tails above the rest of the world.
I came across this picture over 15 years ago. She got run over by a truck. And because she, through no fault of her own (just like me being born in Hawaii was a gift that I did nothing to earn or deserve), happened to be born in a shit hole of a country and her parents not only couldn't afford a wheel chair but had to come up with something that will enable her to 'walk" to school, something kids here don't do, or like to do, with two good legs. So all they could come with was a flat basketball that was abandon in a pile of trash on the street so that she could drag her stump of a body, all by herself, on a dirt road to her school. And she has to do this everyday. Every damn stinking day.
When I first looked at that picture I got so angry. The type of fury that brings tears to your eyes. That make you look up into the sky and shake your fist. I so hate this world. Of all the possibilities that an omnipotent God could create this is the best he could do? Virtually everything about this world is wrong. So wrong.
Another thing that gave me pause was her face. Her face. She's smiling. Not just some smile that you do when you pose for a pic but a really big, happy, broad smile. In a way, it still made me sad. I don't know why exactly. That despite it all she could still smile. Imagine how things would be if she wasn't crippled? If she wasn't so cursed?
I'm still not sure but what I am sure of was that if she could smile despite it all I have nothing to complain about. I have nothing to be depressed about.