Cheating

[Slapper]

"Could you live with yourself?"    It's not like he's proposing to murder someone and bury them in a shallow grave next to the railroad tracks.  It's just sex.

No, it's not "just sex," otherwise he would be seeking the services of the ladies of the night.

Mofo is looking to wine-n-dine the low-lying fruit, self repect-lacking slut types.

Two different things.

[Al Doggity]

Plenty of time to be faithful when your are old and can't get it up.

Plz don't remind me of this.    I would say, conservatively, that 60% of the males I associate with who are at least 10 years older than me are on their second families.

Man, seriously, yesterday was a really hard day for me. My wife has been visiting her mother with the baby since Tuesday. I was in Duane Reade on my way home after work and this cute, young Jessica Alba-looking girl is in front of me. She has on this pink sweatshirt and I told her that it was definitely her color. She laughed and just started talking my ear off. I  kept rubbing my goatee with the hand with my wedding finger and she just ignored it. Then she told me to friend her on instagram... or to just dm her if I didn't want everybody in my business. I didn't contact her, but I'm not exaggerating when I say I was in a spiritual crisis this morning.  

[Slapper]

LOL Yeah. I appreciate and respect the fact that so many guys take the idea of monogamy seriously (or at least say they do), but I don't get the pretending that cheating is this rare thing that only the sickest of monsters  have ever thought about.  It's the most common reason marriages fall apart by a longshot.  I didn't post this thread to justify cheating- if I wanted to do that, I'd find a way to do it on my own. This was more of an attempt to deal with temptation and have an honest discussion about how others deal with it. I don't agree that thinking about cheating- even having a very strong desire to cheat- means you don't love the one you're with. Sexual desire is extremely powerful. I am 36 and I am still a very sexually driven person.  For those that don't have a desire to cheat, that's great. I have experienced that and I can understand it.

Marriages fall apart for many reasons. Most common reason is people getting married who should not be getting married. I, for one, am a "marriage warrior," and value the institution much more than your cheating ass. Do us all a favor and tell your wife what you intend on doing. THEN come in here and tell us how it went. Should be a lot more fun than your mindless contemplations.

[Tapeworm]

No, it's not "just sex," otherwise he would be seeking the services of the ladies of the night.

Mofo is looking to wine-n-dine the low-lying fruit, self repect-lacking slut types.

Two different things.

I never wanted to have candlelight dinners with other women.  I just wanted to fuck 'em.

[Zillotch]

I, for one, am a "marriage warrior," and value the institution much more than your cheating ass.

remember... if this piece of shit will cheat on his wife.... he will have no problem fucking your wife.

[Al Doggity]

Marriages fall apart for many reasons. Most common reason is people getting married who should not be getting married. I, for one, am a "marriage warrior," and value the institution much more than your cheating ass. Do us all a favor and tell your wife what you intend on doing. THEN come in here and tell us how it went. Should be a lot more fun than your mindless contemplations.

Do you a favor? If you're not having "fun" reading this thread, no one forced you to click on it. The most common reason cited for divorce in divorce proceedings in the US is infidelity.  The stats on "people getting married who should not be getting married" are surprisingly inconclusive. The rest of that post just shows a strong lack of reading comprehension skills, "warrior".

[Wiggs]

Once you go down that road, you can never get the purity of your marriage back. The trust is broken, the loyalty is broken and if you have a soul, it will be difficult to forgive yourself. All for nothing really but some strange. Do you really want to risk losing what you have over some random? It's spiritually damaging especially to yourself.  Once you go down that road, it becomes easier to do it each time. It's not as innocent as this scummy society makes it seems. It's adultery. Do you want to face your wife and see the pain in her face and on her soul that you caused?

[Al Doggity]

No, it's not "just sex," otherwise he would be seeking the services of the ladies of the night.

Mofo is looking to wine-n-dine the low-lying fruit, self repect-lacking slut types.

Two different things.

Where did I say anything about wine-n dine? I can see that you're really invested in this, but reading comprehension...  

[Al Doggity]

Once you go down that road, you can never get the purity of your marriage back. The trust is broken, the loyalty is broken and if you have a soul, it will be difficult to forgive yourself. All for nothing really but some strange. Do you really want to risk losing what you have over some random? It's spiritually damaging especially to yourself.  Once you go down that road, it becomes easier to do it each time. It's not as innocent as this scummy society makes it seems. It's adultery. Do you want to face your wife and see the pain in her face and on her soul that you caused?

Have you cheated on women in the past or have you been habitually faithful?

[Wiggs]

Have you cheated on women in the past or have you been habitually faithful?

I have cheated on one woman and the only one that counted meaning my ex-wife. So those things I said was from personal experience. I'd never do again. It eats at you. Even whores. What destroyed me was that I violated trust and loyalty. You cant get that back. She didn't deserve it. I got what I deserved when it happened to me. Not a good feeling to say the least. It's another reason I'd never do it again. It's a different level of emotional pain. I'd only wish it on my enemies.

[The Wizard of Truth]

Very very good thread. I was an absolute prick to women when younger, I cheated on every girl I was with, sometimes having two or three girlfriends at once. It's not worth the mental torture. Even without guilt you have to remember your lies and constantly dodge getting caught. Not worth it when you're a grown man. When you're younger it's a bit of a laugh and you get that shit out of your system. The grass is not always greener.

[Rudee]

Half the women you talk to on elevators give you their numbers or social media contacts?   I have my doubts about that.

[Slapper]

Not worth it when you're a grown man.

Thank you!

[Slapper]

Half the women you talk to on elevators give you their numbers or social media contacts? I have my doubts about that.

He does sound like he's seriously trying to refine his flirting protocol. As to whether the women fall for it, or not, that's what is up for discussion.

If cheating were a 10-step culmination process, he'd be up to 8 now. All that needs to happen from there on is the usual "I've had too much to drink" + the sex-deprived whore and this guy will jump on that hump like a crackhead on a bag of crack. To be followed by a "I didn't mean it honey, I was drunk out of my mind!"

To think your wife is gonna get it all!

[el numero uno]

Half the women you talk to on elevators give you their numbers or social media contacts?   I have my doubts about that.

Huh?

The typical getbigger is in his early 30s, movie star good looks, wealthy, educated, 8-9% bf. What kind of women would NOT give us their contact info?

[Wiggs]

Marriage is grand!
Divorce is 50 grand. 

[OlympiaGym]

What a bunch of pussies. Do whatever the fuck you want. You only live once. You think Trump worries about shit like this?

[Irongrip400]

Not going to read through all of the posts to see if this had been said, but it seems like you may be headed for a cheating situation. Don't do it. From what I recall you have two kids or one and one on the way. Don't fuck up your family man. Don't be a dirtbag. Don't let a few dudes tell you it's not "alpha" to stay monogomous. You took an oath to stay with her. A mans word is his bond, and there's nothing more alpha than that. Of course you're going to want other pussy, you're a dude. Just keep it in check. Life is hard enough, don't make it worse on yourself. Grow old with her, take trips with her, and raise your kids with her. Don't be a douche.

[wes]

Not going to read through all of the posts to see if this had been said, but it seems like you may be headed for a cheating situation. Don't do it. From what I recall you have two kids or one and one on the way. Don't fuck up your family man. Don't be a dirtbag. Don't let a few dudes tell you it's not "alpha" to stay monogomous. You took an oath to stay with her. A mans word is his bond, and there's nothing more alpha than that. Of course you're going to want other pussy, you're a dude. Just keep it in check. Life is hard enough, don't make it worse on yourself. Grow old with her, take trips with her, and raise your kids with her. Don't be a douche.

Says it all............good post dude!

[Al Doggity]

I have cheated on one woman and the only one that counted meaning my ex-wife. So those things I said was from personal experience. I'd never do again. It eats at you. Even whores. What destroyed me was that I violated trust and loyalty. You cant get that back. She didn't deserve it. I got what I deserved when it happened to me. Not a good feeling to say the least. It's another reason I'd never do it again. It's a different level of emotional pain. I'd only wish it on my enemies.

The funny thing is that I tell that to women all the time; if you know a guy is a cheater then he will cheat on you, because once he knows he can deal with the fallout, he has no reason to stay faithful. I was DMing about this with another member here awhile ago.


The thing is, when you cheated, you knew it was going to painful for your wife. You knew it was going to be the biggest strain on your marriage. Her reaction didn't shock you. You didn't have to go through it to know that it was something she wasn't going to take well. My point here is that when you are in it, when you are feeling like you are on that precipice, you come up with all kinds of bullshit to balance the scales. I appreciate the thoughtful answer you gave, but it's all logic. and you understand that when you are on that precipice, logic kinda falls apart. I felt like I put up with so much bullshit for ass when I was in my 20s, and literally seconds after climaxing I would be like "hmm, this is it?" From an objective standpoint, it seems hard to believe pursuit of that feeling can be such a powerful force. But it is. It builds civilizations and empires.

For so long, what you posted was my baseline, but I have been struggling for the last few months. Fortunately, up until now, I have kept coming back to the logical conclusion that I want my life to stay like it is, but you know that's not the issue. The issue in the moment isn't how much pain I could potentially cause my wife, but how easy it would be for her to never know. It's not how big of a deal it would be to the sanctity of marriage, but how it's just this little thing that shouldn't mean anything. I can clearly see how different my view of things would be on different sides.

[The Wizard of Truth]

Not going to read through all of the posts to see if this had been said, but it seems like you may be headed for a cheating situation. Don't do it. From what I recall you have two kids or one and one on the way. Don't fuck up your family man. Don't be a dirtbag. Don't let a few dudes tell you it's not "alpha" to stay monogomous. You took an oath to stay with her. A mans word is his bond, and there's nothing more alpha than that. Of course you're going to want other pussy, you're a dude. Just keep it in check. Life is hard enough, don't make it worse on yourself. Grow old with her, take trips with her, and raise your kids with her. Don't be a douche.

X2
A real man is there for his wife and family. Have a wank, go to a strip club, whatever, but if you cheat you'll end up lying in the bed staring up at the ceiling after blowing your load after potentially losing your house, marriage, the respect of your family, your children, at least half your wages every week, your car, etc etc.

[OlympiaGym]

If you can't manage a wife and a couple of girlfriends on the side, you're not really trying. This is what successful men do. It's our right. Monogamy is for the simpletons who don't cheat on their taxes.

[Al Doggity]

Don't let a few dudes tell you it's not "alpha" to stay monogomous.  

Just the opposite in fact. Apparently, struggling not to cheat is the same thing as cheating, I'm the only getbigger whose ever thought about it and I'm a dirtbag.

eta  But great post actually. Appreciate it. You too, Wiggs. It's not that I think you guys are wrong or even that it's not what I want to hear. It's just  that this is half the conversation I've been having over and over in my head for the last few months. The other half is calling bullshit on that stuff.

[El Diablo Blanco]

Have sex with a tranny then it won't count as cheating.

[Slapper]

Break it up and start the new relationship.

That's how grownups do it.