So, you don't want to compromise your health by eating more food; yet you have no problem compromising your health by using anabolics.
I'm glad you brought this up. The last sentence below outlines this health issue [so scroll down if you want to just read that].
With what LITTLE experience I have with steroids, and what MASSIVE experience I have just being a gym rat [+ with respect, a legit manlet strongman competitor in Canada, who IS actually competitive in my weight class], it has been my personal experience that I could follow a perfect "bro" diet for months on end [three meals a day + three shakes + sufficient hydration + pre-workout supplements, say for instance], yet the pumps I get + MAINTAINING those pumps WOULD STILL be better from using a TINY amount of either Dianabol or Anadrol for instance - even if I am eating "ok", but certainly with nowhere near the devotion of your usual bro diet. And if I am both eating a bro diet AND using MINIMAL amounts of juice, I get a look/pump/physique better than I can ever get naturally.
Do you understand you are talking to a highly decorated autistic Canadian strongman here, MCWAY?

I have a video on my computer upstairs that I can post - showing what I mean by this subtle difference. But for now, here's me at 165-lb, completely devoid of PED's for years:
https://www.instagram.com/p/Ca0pL9SrhjV/Here's me at 170-lb on 12.5mg Anadrol daily for three weeks - although I can't recall what week this picture was taken:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CaijnHhLTmj/^ And the difference is: the pump in that first picture would be gone in 15 MINUTES - maybe, what, an hour max?
On SMALL amounts of juice, I find I maintain a pump just from moving around!
And maybe that's the difference, MCWAY - maybe it mostly comes down to: I'm just seeking to get that full/pumped look temporarily. Turn some heads, which ANYONE IN SHAPE knows you don't need to be anywhere close to IFBB pro level to turn heads, and that's about it.
I'm not looking to make major gains here, nor willing to severely compromise my health.
Now to your point:What would compromise my health more - taking X amount of gear and Y amount of food to achieve that look, or to eat Z amount of food [presumably more food], and I can't imagine gaining nearly as much lean mass from just food.
It comes down to this: is one lowly cycle every five years [if that] REALLY so unhealthy?
I'm just not buying it, MCWAY.
And my doctor has always been an athlete, and works with athletes. In fact, my doctor said it wouldn't even impact my blood test if I started the PED's last weekend.
But we're doing ONE final blood test to rule out autoimmune disorders, and he told me not to start until the tests are done. Just to be certain there are no confounding variables.
Do you REALLY think gym rat level cycling is so bad, MCWAY?
Bodybuilders did NOT start dying young until the "chemical era" of bodybuilding, which started with Sonny Schmidt's death in January of 2004.
Also MCWAY - this is a one and done thing with me. Hence, I don't want to go crazy, BECAUSE IN 6-9-12 MONTHS, I will just look like I do now anyway! And may have some post-cycle side effects to deal with.
So I don't want to go nuts here, MCWAY.
What's the alternative for me - using toxic SSRI's? I need to snap myself out of this rut. Nasser [bad example] said young men should use anabolics instead of antidepressants. I'm completely certain, based on my current momentum, that one cycle will snap me out of my current psychological state, and with my new devotion to training again, I will stay out of it.
I'm already feeling much better just with gyms open. But I think this will really get me back to normal. In other words - I'm prepared to sacrifice some physical health for my improved psychological health/wellbeing.